Millennial Misremembers: ZENON: GIRL OF THE 21st CENTURY

Melis Noah Amber

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Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century Millennial Misremembers

Millennial Misremembers, in which I reckon with my nostalgia and ever-fading memories, is back with another one of my childhood favorites: Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century. This Disney Channel Original Movie premiered in the US on January 23, 1999. Two sequels followed. Zenon: The Zequel (2001) and Zenon:23 (2004). I don’t remember watching the latter two, but I definitely watched and rewatched the first. Who else remembers this 24-year-old movie?

What I (Mis)remember

Cetus lupeedus! While Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century is clearly not Gays! In Space, that’s how I remember it. Were Zenon and her friend, whose name I can’t remember, girlfriends? Nah, but maybe my brain remembers it that way? Was the rockstar Billy Idol-slash-David-Bowie-wannabe a queer icon? In my mind, bab-y. 

I’m not saying this movie was a queer awakening, but I’m not saying it wasn’t. Is it possible that this movie accidentally inspired my first manuscript? I’m not saying it did, but I’m not saying it didn’t. 

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In essence, I f’loved this film, but maybe I have put it on a pedestal as something it wasn’t. Let’s see, shall we?

Let’s Rewatch!

The year is 2049, and  Zenon (Kirsten Storms) is no different from you or me. Her gadgets may look cooler, but she, too, didn’t study for her science test. Well, okay, maybe she’s not exactly like us. She lives on a space station. (Or, perhaps you do. I don’t know your life.)

Her scientist parents, Mark (Greg Thirloway) and Astrid (Gwynyth Walsh), gab about some breakthrough they’re about to reach, though they wonder why their daughter wasn’t in the “mess module” for breakfast. Astrid goes to wake up her sleeping child monster. Zenon cannot believe that she overslept. Again. Things could be worse. She could live on Earth (dun dun DUN!).

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Next, Zenon zips through the halls, trying to get to class. She literally runs into Commander Plank (Stuart Pankin). She stumbles through corridors, knocking things over; basically, she’s a menace to space society. Zenon finally makes it to class, and the technology clash here is hilarious. Their teacher is hologrammed in, but the kids’ computers are definitely still 1990s-era. Couldn’t the production team have imagined something more futuristic looking?

Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century Millennial Misremembers Nebula and Zenon arguing

Zenon doesn’t limit her disruptions to the hallways. When teacher Mr. Perez (Paul Batten) tries to lecture the kids about President Chelsea Clinton, Zenon would rather read and squee about Proto Zoa (Phillip Rhys Chaudhary) and his band, Microbe, becoming the first band to play in outer space. 

After class, Zenon pulls her best friend, Nebula (Raven-Symoné!!!), aside to squeal about the good news. How can she control herself when her Crush Major is coming to space? She continues her gleeful ranting in the mess module, but not all her friends are impressed. Aquillat (Blair Slater), for example, compares them to bands from all the way back in 2025! His dismissal does not faze Zenon. Not only is she not disturbed, she’s convinced she’s gonna win the contest that will let her dance onstage with Proto Zoa. 

However, Zenon cannot get further into her daydreaming because Plank calls for everyone’s attention. Apparently, the station’s funder, Parker Wyndham (Frederick Coffin), is coming for a visit that Friday. And they’ve had a rough year, the roughest since boarding in 2022 (!). So they have to convince Wyndham not to shut them down. They do important research on this station. Like bone-marrow density research. And Levitating mice. 

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Zenon doesn’t want the “space-stay” to get shut down cause it’s been her home since she was five, which fair. But, my goodness, the undo pressure the adults place on her? I get she’s annoying, but she’s also a kid.

Speaking of kids … the gang gathers in Zenon’s room. Leo (Neil Denis) is quite cynical about Microbe’s intentions. The quintet discusses how crappy Earth is: People get sick, are motivated by money and have to deal with weather. Lynx (Danielle Fraser) shudders. She hasn’t even ever sneezed! 

Yikes — Zenon needs boundaries, structure and maybe a therapist. There’s a solar flare at four that morning. Instead of being content to watch it from a gallery with her friends, she suits up to watch it from outer space. She, of course, gets caught.

And while her dad acknowledges that it was a great view, shenanigans like that one will get their mission shut down when Wyndham visits. Does she want to be a part of causing that? Yikes, Astrid. She then threatens to ground Zenon.

Another day, Zenon shows Nebula her entry for the Microbe contest — a Proto Zoa doll. 

Next, Zenon finds her parents in the hall, where they are showing Wyndham and his sidekick, Mr. Lutz (Bob Bancroft), around. She does well with impressing Wyndham, who happens to be a “Microscope” fan. We shortly learn that he is versed in everything the kids like. He freaks Zenon out. 

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That night, Zenon is dumpster diving for something to finish her Proto Zoa dolla when she finds something odd, very odd indeed — Mr. Lutz snooping around near the base’s main memory bank. To keep him from doing anything too untoward, she has him walk her back to the habitation module. Smart girl.

Later, Microbe is about to announce the winner of their contest. Proto Zoa is about as hilarious as I remembered. Surprise, surprise, Zenon wins the contest! No one is surprised, and most people seem happy for her, which is nice. Though Nebula is about ready to have a heart attack when she realizes Zenon is getting access codes from Leo so she can spy on Wyndham and Lutz. What can the girl do? No one believes that the duo is up to sneaky stuff! 

Meanwhile, Lutz does sneak into the main memory bank. And Zenon is able to spy on him. He puts a disk into the computers, but is he uploading it? Downloading data? Whatever it is, surely it’s nefarious. He’s also careless, dropping his little disk just outside the room.

Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century Millennial Misremembers Zenon and Lynx arguing

Because Zenon wrote the access code for the room in Sharpie on her hand, it has smudged away. She gets stuck in this room. Alarms go off. Plank finds her. Zenon tries to explain to her parents and the Commander that she only broke in to spy because no one was listening to her, but they’re not buying what she’s selling. Plank tells her parents he’ll have to take punishment into his own hands unless they punish her appropriately. Xenon’s grounded. Like, to Earth.

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While Nebula and Aquillat gab about Zenon’s imminent departure, Nebula finds Mr. Lutz’s dropped disk. She thinks it’s stellar. Other things that are stellar? The space station, according to Wyndham. He has decided to invest another $500 million into the ship. Zenon is adamant it has to be for something selfish.

As she’s leaving for Earth, Nebula gives Zenon an earring made with Mr. Lutz’s disk (lunarious!). Not lunarious? Zenon has to travel with Wyndham and Lutz. That sounds like a poor decision, especially when Wyndham winks at her. Ew.

The first thing that happens when Zenon exits the plane is she sneezes and tumbles.  Her farewell with Wyndham and Lutz lets the latter see her earring and open mouth gape at it. Aunt Judy (Holly Fulger) arrives for Zenon. Judy talks a mile a minute but drives out of there before Lutz can come for Zenon. 

Judy takes Zenon out for lunch, and as they pass some kids Zenon’s age, they make some pretty snide comments about her appearance. Margie (Lauren Maltby) and Greg (Gregory Smith) both stare at her, but for different reasons (I think). 

When Zenon’s aunt goes to the bathroom, Margie notices Greg and Zenon make simmering eye contact. Margie goes over to Zenon’s table to mark her territory, but Zenon gives as good as she gets. Still, the experience unnerves Zenon, and she and Judy leave without eating. 

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Later, when Judy goes to tell her niece goodnight, we learn that she idolizes the child’s bravery. You see, Judy isn’t single and childless because she’s a lesbian in a ’90s movie; she’s single and childless because she’s “afraid of taking risks and putting herself out there.” Heaven forbid childlessness be a choice.

Now, Zenon is starting Earth school. Margie continues to mock Zenon, and Greg continues to make eyes at her. I guess this movie takes place before schools even ostensibly began taking bullying seriously. Margie literally shoves Zenon into a pool. In any case, Margie’s efforts have the opposite intended effect because Greg jumps in to save her. Though he does victim blame her. (Didn’t she say she could swim? Yah, in space, she says.)

Zenon starts a fire in science class because she uses Celsius instead of Fahrenheit. At lunch, the bananas, oranges and the concept of money confuse her. Greg swoops in to save the day again. 

After school, Zenon tells her aunt a little about what’s been going on, and her aunt thankfully believes her, but her aunt’s house has been broken into and ransacked. It has to be Lutz! He’s such a klutz! 

The next day, Zenon doesn’t have a lot of luck researching Wyndham and his company, WyndComm, but notices Greg in the computer lab and sees how fast his typing fingers are. She wants his help. He invites her to come with him to the stable where he works. Because there are definitely computers there.

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The first thing Zenon notices at the stable is the smell. The second thing she notices is how big the horses are. Eventually, she gets used to them and even brushes them (with Greg’s hand over hers, natch). They go riding together. They take a trot down to the ocean. 

Then, they go to dinner, and Zenon chows down on burgers, fries and onion rings. You see, on the space station, they can only eat food they hydroponically cultivate, which I assume means they are eating vegan. (You’re in for a rude midnight awakening, Z.)

Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century Millennial Misremembers Zenon and Greg chatting with Nebula

Just then, Lutz appears … and disappears. And Zenon makes them hightail it out of there. Zenon dips her toes in the ocean while Greg hacks into WyndComm. The company isn’t doing so hot. Somehow in the middle of all of this, the duo finally figure out that Lutz was reacting to Zenon’s earring.

BTW: It starts to rain as Greg drops her off at home, and he seems like he’s gonna kiss her but doesn’t. 

The next day, Andrew (Brenden Jefferson) helps Greg and Zenon hack into the chip while Margie threatens Zenon and desperately to get Greg’s attention away from her. 

Andrew finally cracks the code — but it’s a virus that literally fries his computer. Boy Genius somehow manages to reverse-engineer the virus into an “undo” anecdote-type thing. O-K. The only thing is Zenon’s got to get the chip back up to the space station to save it. 

Zenon calls her parents to tell them what’s what. But they don’t believe her. Although, they are slightly surprised that she somehow knows the ship’s systems are majorly malfunctioning of late. 

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Meanwhile, Lutz finally finds her and asks for the earring, telling her it’s filled with company info. She says she’ll return it if she can trade a ride up to space for the disk. He “agrees.” He reneges on his deal as soon as he has the disk in hand, which doesn’t matter. Because Zenon didn’t give him the actual disk. Lutz has to tell Wyndham, who is POd.

Earlier, we learned that Zenon’s parents had blocked her chat device, so she could only call them. However, Andrew is able to unblock it so she can call Nebula, who confirms all the malfunctions. Zenon begs Nebula to break into restricted areas and find out the cargo shuttle schedule so that Zenon can hitch a ride. Zenon then leaves her aunt a message that she’s leaving planet Earth. 

Nebula and Leo comply but get temporarily stuck when snooping, so they cannot tell Zenon that a shuttle is leaving in a matter of hours. This leads to the following:

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Zenon says, “Cetus-lupeedus, Greg, if you want to kiss me, just do it!” Alas, he doesn’t get a chance because Neb and Leo get unstuck at that very moment. They call Zenon: She’s got less than an hour to get on a ship. Sadly, even with the help of a self-driving, automatic car, she does not make it in time.  

In her everlasting glory, Margie ponders how awful it would be for the space station to explode while Microbe is performing, prompting Zenon to hug her. She now knows how to get a ride. 

Unfortunately, Microbe is leaving from WyndComm, and when the kids try to reach the band, Zenon almost gets detained. Luckily, she is very quickly able to sneak away, though, and finds Proto Zoa. He insists that Zenon be escorted to the plane-ship. Because not dancing with him would look bad to his fans. 

Just then, Judy pulls up to the WyndComm gate, looking for Zenon. She confronts Wyndham and Lutz just as they finish discussing their brilliant plan: Somehow, having Microbe on the space station just hours before it self-destructs will keep people from thinking WyndComm is responsible. 

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Judy tells Wyndham and Lutz they better stop their niece, and they run off to stop the ship from taking off.  While they’re unable to, the three get on the plane-ship. Judy’s not loving it. 

Meanwhile, things on the space station are getting worse and worse. Like, they finally realize they might die soon. Microbe arrives just as even more things go wrong. And then Zenon runs into Plank, who’s about to rip her a new one, but Judy backs her up. And has a meet-cute with the Commander. 

Back on the plane-ship, the pilots find Wyndham and Lutz. The formers insist they need to turn back to Earth. The main pilot (Lossen Chambers) is all, umm, we have to refuel? 

Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century Millennial Misremembers Zenon and Nebula at Microbe concert

Unfortunately, just as Plank was maybe going to believe Zenon, Wyndham and Lutz emerge to blame her. The space station has 15 minutes before it destructs. Instead of trusting that she can fix it, Plank sticks Zenon in his office. Luckily, some careful telephoning between space, Earth and space sends Nebula to let her out. 

Wyndham and Lutz try to escape the station on the plane-ship, but Zenon’s put some sort of virus on it. Elsewhere, Zenon is trying to get into the main memory bank room. She bursts in when there are 30 seconds left. Zenon has the disc and the silly-butts in charge finally let her attempt to save them. She struggles with the access code for some reason but saves everyone with one second to go. 

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Plank arrests Wyndham and Lutz. Zenon FTW!

And it’s finally Microbe time! Instead of dancing with Proto Zoa, Zenon gives her prize to Nebula. When you’ve saved a space station and kicked his butt at poker, you don’t need the dance as much. The best part of the concert? When Proto Zoa says, “Somebody, get up here before I get a complex.”

Also? “Supernova Girl” is such a good song. 

Does It Live Up to the Nostalgia?

That would be a resounding “Major!” I absolutely adored the creative slang in Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century, if you couldn’t tell. And while this film isn’t actually gay, it still feels it to me. Mr. Lutz is a classically gay-coded villain (though that’s yucky). And not gonna lie, but I think Z’s guy friends doth protest a bit too much about disliking Microbe if you know what I mean.

Also, is Wyndham the precursor to Elon Musk? If so, how did they know? 

And finally, here’s a make-you-feel-old fact: This movie takes place in 2049, meaning in January 2024, we will be smack between its release date and the year it’s set!

Are y’all fans of Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century? Have you rewatched it recently? Is “Supernova Girl” constantly stuck in your heads, too? Let us know in the comments! 

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Melis Noah Amber
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