Welcome back to Wynonna Wednesday, Earpers! Last week, we discussed the frightful fourth episode (complete with a Jerbear and kitchen floor sex) of Wynonna Earp. This week, I want to delve into episode five, “Holy War Part One.” Our posse of dipsh*ts dealt with a hex that makes one vomit frogs, bland paintings, and a surprise return. There’s a ton to unpack in this episode. So, hold on to your butts. Grab some whiskey and doughnuts. Let’s get to Earping.
As per usual, this week’s Wynonna Earp boasted a boatload of stellar performances. Emily Andras, a.k.a The Mother of Unicorns, vowed that she was going to push Kat Barrell as an actress this season. In a move that surprises no one, Andras remained true to her word. Barrell, once again, stole the show this episode. It ain’t easy emulating frog-vomiting, but Barrell pulled it off. Additionally, she made the switch between homicidal maniac and our doting Haughtpants so seamless. Her heartfelt profession of love to Waverly (Dominique Provost-Chalkley) utterly devastated me. Well, mostly because it was evident she was about to embark down a potentially fatal path. Barrell continuously raises the bar this season. I can’t wait to see what “Holy War Part Two” has in store for us in terms of Barrell. Bravo Barrell, indeed.
Of course, Melanie Scrofano never lets us down. While Barrell has taken the performer driver’s seat this season, Scrofano incessantly delivers. Wynonna had a slew of Mean Girls references that transported me to Memory Lane in the best way possible. She’ll always be my soul sister in more ways than one.
Hexes that induce frog-vomiting! Not-boyfriends-turned-reapers! Seemingly bland paintings that reveal a certain Revenant! Nuns that help heal women of their self-loathing! “Holy War Part One” had all this and more. The Wynonna Earp Powers That Be are very adept at revealing part of their hand while keeping the rest shrouded in shadow. There’s always an ace up their sleeve.
While we learned more about Nicole’s deal with the formidable Mam Clanton, it’s still unclear exactly how the latter would deliver Waves and co. from the Garden. But the repercussions were crystal clear — Nicole struck a bargain that resulted in her barfing amphibians forever. It’s an interesting twist to a hex that we haven’t seen before on this show. That, and Nicole believing the only way out was to have Jeremy (Varun Saranga) and Nedley (Greg Lawson) kill her. In front of our poor baby Waves. Talk about a kick in the teeth. However, I still wholeheartedly believe that Waverly will utilize her angelic touch to revive Nicole. It seems like the only plausible solution in my eyes. Use the angel to go all necromancy on Death’s ass.
Additionally, this episode was fraught with meetings. Wynonna finally met Aemon (Noam Jenkins), sexy demon proprietor extraordinaire. Is it odd that I want a steamy scene between these two? Just one. Honestly, I’d probably settle for a scene with Scrofano and an off-white wall. She just has sizzling chemistry with everyone. But that wasn’t the only first-time-meet! Doc (Tim Rozon) had a chat with Holt (Ty Olsson) at The Glory Hole. Holt, especially as a sheriff, definitely gave off “Old West” vibes. It was like an old school whiskey-soaked gunslinger explosion when he met Doc. And they were quickly drawing their guns on each other! That’s not a euphemism, either.
Then, there’s poor Billy Clanton. His mama morphed him into a reaper like his ancient ancestors. Rachel (Martina Ortiz-Luis) made a futile attempt to rescue Billy from his own fate, but she was unfortunately too late. Billy is all reaper and no human now. My poor baby girl. She can’t even merely develop feelings for a boy without some supernatural sh*t hitting the fan.
Now, I’m curious to see what Mam really has in store for our protagonists. Wynonna and Doc are so very close to nabbing Peacemaker too. Once our former Earp heir is armed with her demon-slaying weapon, all bets are off. Bye, Felicia!
The Rosita of it all!
Ah, the Rosita Bustillos of it all. Tamara Duarte made her triumphant return as our favorite sexy Revenant (next to Bobo Del Rey, of course). Rosita was standing in a cavernous valley as “The Scorned Woman.” The title makes sense, really. Wyatt Earp killed Rosita because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time, not because she was inherently evil. Thus, Rosita was cursed to rise from Hell when a new Earp heir hit the scene. But now that the curse is broken, shouldn’t all the Revenants be back in Hell? Why is Rosita still present? Not to mention, why does she supposedly have Peacemaker? If you’ll recall, Wynonna blatantly threatened Rosita prior to the latter’s escape from Purgatory. Wynonna was hellbent on slaying Rosita the next time she saw her. Well, this is the “next time.”
So, how do we know Rosita won’t exert 200% into withholding Peacemaker from Wynonna? Rosita was all about survival. Wynonna made it abundantly clear that, when all is said and done, she would inevitably kill Rosita. If I were her, I’d do everything in my power to ensure Wynonna wouldn’t get her hands on that damn gun.
Methinks Wynonna will have to forgive Rosita in order to access Peacemaker. This story is an allegorical one, or at least I believe it is. Forgive the woman scorned in order to move forward. Regardless, I can’t wait to see what Rosita has to say in the next episode. This may be a sh*tshow, but it’s our sh*tshow.
What did you think of “Holy War Part One?” Sound off in the comments below! Be sure to join me next week for more Wynonna Earp shenanigans on Wynonna Wednesday. Until then — tacos are tasty.
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