Welcome back to Wynonna Wednesday, Earpers! If you’re like me you eat, sleep and breathe all things Wynonna Earp. Each week we’ll delve deeper into our favorite s**tshow. I suggest you stockpile on whiskey and doughnuts. Perhaps some tasty tacos?
Now, this week I want to explore what it truly means to be an Earper. You’re probably thinking, “Melody, if one watches Wynonna Earp, then one in fact is an Earper.” While that certainly helps, our fandom is chock full of beautifully unique, kind and loving souls. We’re like unicorns that feed off the love emanating from WayHaught for nourishment. We worship at the alter of Saint Fandras. We fawn over Doc Holliday’s incredibly intricate mustache. Earpers are one special bunch. Below are the signs I believe one should use to identify someone as an Earper. That someone could be yourself or a friend. Once you’re in, you are all in.
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1. You have “no chill”
Seriously, all the no chill. When it comes to Wynonna Earp, you couldn’t possibly chill if you tried. You’re like those giant dogs that believe they’re small, hopped up on an exorbitant amount of caffeine and jumping on everyone. Utterly endearing and sickeningly sweet. Wynonna Earp has you hook, line and sinker. Your soul belongs to it and it alone. When you go all in, you’re all in. This show is a testament to that.
2. “Fandras” is more than just a pet name
A pet name for whom, you might ask? Why, one Emily Andras, the Mama Earp of us all. Yes, we owe Beau Smith a great deal for even creating Wynonna, but without Andras we wouldn’t have a TV series. We wouldn’t have strong female leads kicking all kinds of demon butt for all to see. Praise be to Fandras, for we’re indebted to her. We’re her biggest fans (Get it?). Our Mama Earp deserves all the accolades, and all the beauty life has to offer her. Praise be!
3. To you, WayHaught are couples goals
Now, who loves Waverly Earp and Nicole Haught more than Earpers? Well, perhaps the aforementioned names in regards to each other. WayHaught sets a standard, a precedent that’s difficult for us mere mortals to attain. However, we look to them as the golden couple, a picture perfect love story we all strive for. Of course, they’ve endured their fair share of turmoil and verbal spats. But Waverly and Nicole always overcome their obstacles. In the end, the immense love they share for each other can withstand any storm. That’s f***ing beautiful. Long live WayHaught!

4. You love with all your heart
Earpers are incredibly loving and supportive of each other. I’ve witnessed just how much this fandom cares for its members. Exhibit A: social media. You may have seen the hashtag #EarperSupport pop up from time to time on Twitter. Earpers vent their personal struggles and ask for emotional support from the fandom. Subsequently, fellow Earpers always respond with words of encouragement and support. Fans of our little s**tshow love with every fiber of their beings, putting said love into practice every day.
5. You’re open and accepting of everyone
Now, this ties in with Number 4. But I think it also deserves its own description. Wynonna Earp and its cast/creators are huge proponents of the LGBTQIA+ community. Not only does the series boast multiple LGBTQIA+ characters, but the cast are incredibly vocal as allies. Thus, Earpers are open and accepting of everyone – we’re just a bunch of humans loving on other humans. This show also celebrates uniqueness, uplifting those who don’t fit the societal mold. Let your freak flag fly, Earpers. Love who you love. Love is love is love is love.
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6. Whiskey and doughnuts go together like bread and butter
Well, we know Wynonna most certainly prefers the former over the latter. Never in my wildest dreams did I even consider pairing whiskey (my favorite alcohol) with doughnuts (my favorite pastry). But, here we are. Earpers even host viewing parties with whiskey and doughnuts as the appetizers (Or the main course. No judging here.). So, if you like whiskey and doughnuts, you’re probably an Earper. You’re an Earper and you may not even be aware of your Earper-ness.

7. You know all the words to “Tell That Devil”
We love us a catchy theme song! Jill Andrews blessed us with “Tell That Devil,” and dropped an acoustic version of said song a few months ago. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Other words that mean aesthetically pleasing to the ears. Every time you watch Wynonna Earp, you can never fast forward through the opening credits. Instead, you belt out “Tell That Devil” alongside Andrews. If someone starts the first line, you finish it. This song is the Earper Anthem. We know it by heart.
8. You lift others up
Now, that doesn’t mean you physically lift them up. Although more power to you if you’re that strong. Earpers are bastions of encouragement, always showering others with compliments and words of wisdom. We’re your biggest fans and the world’s best cheerleaders. Even better than Waverly, and that says a lot. Earpers will lift you up when you need it, lend a shoulder on which to cry when it’s necessary. We love spreading love, because it’s contagious. Sharing and reveling in positivity is much healthier for everyone than wallowing in negativity.
9. You worship Wynonna as the Queen of Snarky One-Liners
Of course, nobody does snark like Wynonna. Even Melanie Scrofano has the quipping down pat in real life. Earpers are incessantly sharing GIFs on social media containing Wynonna’s best, most snarkiest one-liners. Every time I watch Wynonna Earp, there’s at least one Wynonna line that makes me laugh out loud. We Earpers worship Wynonna for her wit and her multi-faceted personality. Not to mention, Scrofano’s brilliant performances. All hail Queen Wynonna. Long may she reign!

10. You know full well you’re part of the best fandom on the planet
That’s right. Earpers know the Wynonna Earp fandom boasts the kindest, most openhearted and loving humans on the planet. We’re also very modest. Earpers love who they love, gush about their favorite show and shower their companions with support. This fandom also helped Wynonna Earp snag Favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show at the People’s Choice Awards. That’s massive! Earpers are persistent – they go all in. They give it everything they’ve got, regardless of the perceived outcome or formidable obstacles standing in their way. We’re Earpers. It’s what we do.
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Well, that’s all I wrote, Earpers. Be sure to keep your eyes peeled, your whiskey bottles full and doughnuts at the ready for next week’s Wynonna Wednesday! Wherein I may or may not present you with wonderful Wynonna Earp quotes to motivate you in 2019. You’ll have to tune in to find out! I promise that every Wednesday will be no chill, Earpers. All the no chill.
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