Everyone’s favorite posse of dipsh*ts (and one crazy chick with a demon-killing gun) is back for another chaotic adventure in the form of Wynonna Earp: Vengeance. This 90-minute special has taken Tubi by storm.
To celebrate the return of Wynonna Earp, here are our 12 favorite quotes from said special. Thank the gods of whiskey and doughnuts for more Earpin’.
WYNONNA: “You hit like a girl. Hard and with perfect form.”
Leave it to Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) to turn what’s usually an insult in media (“You hit like a girl”) into the best compliment. It epitomizes that “They had us in the first half” meme.
A Special Kind of Resuscitation
WYNONNA [to DOC]: “When this is over, I promise you mouth-to-south resuscitation.”
This line is iconic and dirty — that’s the only way our titular gunslinger knows how to roll. Doc (Tim Rozon) is one lucky fella. Also, as a writer, I appreciate the rhyming. It’s catchy.
RELATED: Our 12 Favorite Moments From Wynonna Earp: Vengeance
WAVERLY: “This is mid. And Mercedes Gardner was more midriff than mid.”
WYNONNA: “She would want this to be a real panty-dropper.”
Normally, I involuntarily cringe whenever someone says “mid,” but it works for Waverly’s (Dom Provost-Chalkley) remark about Mercedes (Dani Kind) being the opposite of mid. If Mercedes’ wake isn’t a panty-dropper, is it even a wake?
WAVERLY [to JASMINE]: “Now someone’s ’bout to get punched in the front!”
Perhaps this quote works better with Jasmine’s (Rosie Simon) preceding line about Wynonna shooting her father in the back of the head. However, I think it’s still funny on its own, especially coming out of Waverly’s mouth.
The Rizz King
NEDLEY [to NICOLE]: “Mercedes could barely keep up with this rizz.”
Who’s got more rizz than Randy Nedley (Greg Lawson)? He has more rizz than every denizen of Purgatory combined. That said, Mercedes was a close second in that department (and the second-best angler).
RELATED: 36 Delicious Easter Eggs From Wynonna Earp: Vengeance
WYNONNA: “She went from Pop Tarts to poppin’ tarts.”
This series has no dearth of clever one-liners. Exhibit A, the above quote. Waverly Earp has quite the experience at Mercedes’ wake, going from, as Wynonna puts it, “Pop Tarts to poppin’ tarts.”
WAVERLY: “With the occasional shift at the Cat Cafe. Though tending pussy’s more of a hobby.”
WYNONNA: “Don’t change the subject with a hilarious off-color joke. That’s my move.”
I love that our Waves has taken a page out of her older sister’s book by inserting a “hilarious off-color joke”—even if it is Wynonna’s move. Also, it’s nice to have hobbies!
NICOLE: “Now it feels less like a reunion and more like a reboot.”
Earpers will recognize this line instantly from the Wynonna Earp: Vengeance trailer. Creator, showrunner, writer, executive producer and unicorn Emily Andras has stated that there are multiple phases. Shortly after the special premiered on Tubi, we learned about Wynonna Earp: Tales from Purgatory, an Audible audio series featuring six new stories set in this universe. As Nicole (Katherine Barrell) says, we’re in reboot territory now.
Wynonna Thee Mustang
DOC: “I will never tire of loving the wildest stallion of them all.”
WAVERLY: “Mustang. Stallions are boys.”
I’d like to think that Doc became interested in Megan Thee Stallion because of the “stallion” part of her moniker. I also love the idea of Waverly correcting Doc on horse-related knowledge.
RELATED: Read our Wynonna Earp recaps
NICOLE: “Live, laugh and lie the f*ck down!”
If Etsy isn’t already filled with cross-stitch designs with “Live, laugh and lie the f*ck down!” can one truly call themselves an Etsy seller? This line made me laugh out loud (before I laid the f*ck down).
DOC: “What a ghastly fuel vengeance can be. But it is nothing compared to what love can do.”
Doc always comes in with a thought-provoking and poignant piece of wisdom that tugs at the heartstrings. This line perfectly encapsulates the message of Vengeance and the series as a whole. Love conquers all.
WYNONNA: “This wasn’t on the chore wheel.”
It’s not so much this line in particular but Melanie’s delivery. She cracks me up. There are probably many things that aren’t on WayHaught’s adorable chore wheel (like sexy stuff).
What are your favorite quotes from Wynonna Earp: Vengeance? Sound off in the comments below, Earpers.
Wynonna Earp: Vengeance is now streaming on Tubi.
My Favorite Queer Things About WYNONNA EARP
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What I do: I'm GGA's Managing Editor, a Senior Contributor, and Press Coordinator. I manage, contribute, and coordinate. Sometimes all at once. Joking aside, I oversee day-to-day operations for GGA, write, edit, and assess interview opportunities/press events.
Who I am: Before moving to Los Angeles after studying theater in college, I was born and raised in Amish country, Ohio. No, I am not Amish, even if I sometimes sport a modest bonnet.
Bylines in: Tell-Tale TV, Culturess, Sideshow Collectibles, and inkMend on Medium.
Critic: Rotten Tomatoes, CherryPicks, and the Hollywood Creative Alliance.
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