DISCLAIMER: This recap of Wynonna Earp season premiere episode “On the Road Again” is rife with spoilers galore. You’ve been warned. Proceed with caution.
Welcome back, Earpers! After nearly two years of living in what feels like purgatory on Earth, our sh*tshow has returned to us. Wynonna Earp came in roaring like a lion with tonight’s Season 4 premiere. We picked up right where we left off — Wynonna and Nedley galvanizing for their trip to the Garden. Additionally, we learned that after Bulshar was defeated, the government swooped in and kidnapped everyone from Purgatory — Nicole, Jeremy, Robin, and Kate included. Doc and Waverly discovered that the Garden isn’t the paradise it was made out to be.
Ready to delve into “On the Road Again?” Let’s get to it.
Now, we open with a shot of a snowy tundra and a stone throne situated within. Then, we see Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) gathering weaponry in Shorty’s. Nedley (Greg Lawson) urges her to pick up the pace — it feels like he’s been standing in that very spot in Shorty’s for two years. God, I missed this show. There’s plenty of juicy little gems like this line sprinkled intermittently throughout the episode.
Of course, we know Peacemaker is still out of the picture, so Wynonna’s toting regular guns this time. The duo return to the stairway to paradise, which is still visible to humans. Wynonna ascends the staircase, vows to take a “giant leap for all MILF-kind,” then…she falls off. Remember the crimson door from the Season 3 finale? Well, it’s not there.
Then, we see Waverly (Dominique Provost-Chalkley) is chained to a massive stone fixture in the Garden. Bloodcurdling screams for Wynonna rent the air. It looks like Waves isn’t enjoying her time in “paradise.”
Suddenly, a swarm of what appears to be supernatural crabs crawl out from the snowy woodwork. After fending them off, Wynonna and Nedley return to the Homestead. Nedley is injured from the supernatural crab scuffle, so he proceeds to look for the Earp’s first aid kit. He spots the word “Valdez” crudely scrawled across Wynonna’s staircase.
Flashback time! We see Jeremy (Varun Saranga) frantically carving “Valdez” in said staircase. Nicole (Kat Barrell) and Robin (Justin Kelly) are still unconscious at the kitchen table. If you’ll recall, Wynonna drugged the trio so they wouldn’t try to stop her from battling Bulshar solo. Jeremy hears a horde of soldiers ordering him to leave town immediately. If not, they’ll remove Jeremy, Nicole, and Robin by force. Jeremy is tased. That’s not very nice, you meanie government dudes.
Next, Wynonna finds Julian’s — now Waverly’s — ring on the floor. Nicole was sporting it after Waverly proposed. Nedley surmised that Waverly gave Nicole a “proposition.” Wynonna now spirals into a frenzy, hoping against hope that her Haughtpants is safe and sound. Speaking of which…
Nicole wakes up on a train bound for some undisclosed location. Just know it’s not a midnight train to Georgia, Earpers. Mercedes (Dani Kind) is crashing at the Homestead without Wynonna’s knowledge. That is, until Mercedes launches a knife at Wynonna’s face. Apparently, Kate told Mercedes to run when the government lackeys showed up at the Gardner mansion.
Meanwhile, Nicole finds Kate (Chantel Riley) aboard the train car with her. Kate reveals that the car handle is rife with electrical currents that are deadly to humans. So escape is looking extremely unlikely at the moment.
Back at the Homestead, Wynonna is researching “Valdez.” Nedley reveals that information regarding Valdez may be in Dolls’ files…which are sequestered away somewhere at the police station. The trio head into town. Wynonna finds the files hidden under the couch in the sheriff’s office. Why? “Nobody uses that couch,” Nedley explains nonchalantly. That made me chuckle. Earpers know that couch is historic. That’s where WayHaught rose like a sexy gay phoenix from the ashes (thank you, Emily Andras, for the apropos phrase).
Then, Kate does a card reading regarding Waverly’s status. Nicole only knows that Waverly tagged along with Wynonna to defeat Bulshar. Kate offers to open the train car for Nicole so the latter can jump out. She’s a vampire — she’ll at least heal. While Kate gets an electrical jolt, she inevitably regains her strength by feeding on a guard that asks after Nicole’s whereabouts.
Now, they discover that there was a Dr. Gloria Valdez who worked at Black Badge. However, her file claims she’s deceased. Nedley muses whether Jeremy knew Dr. Valdez from his BBD days and left the name as a clue for Wynonna. Mercedes reveals the BBD building that employed Valdez is in a town called Monument. Wynonna decides to hit the road for Monument. Perhaps there’ll be someone who knew Valdez or has access to her lab space. Nedley is still injured from their last jaunt. Mercedes vows to care for the retired sheriff. “Nobody f*cks with our family,” Nedley proclaims. Admittedly, that line made me weepy.
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Meanwhile, Doc (Tim Rozon) crosses the threshold into the Garden. He spots poor Waves chained to the stone fixture. Waves shouts that the chains are getting increasingly tighter. Doc realizes the source of Waverly’s binding is a large brain-esque ball concealed within a well. He yanks it out of the well and that simultaneously loosens Waves’ chains. The pair embrace and Waverly thanks Doc for saving her. My little sh*t tickets.
Later, Wynonna’s trusty truck is undergoing some mechanical issues. She starts to feel hopeless — not only is her magical gun missing, but her friends are MIA too. Not a good situation to be in. Suddenly, Nicole appears like a leaf on the wind. But, instead of that “glorious ginger b*tch” giving Wynonna a bear hug, Nicole launches a mean right hook at the latter’s face. It’s a family reunion! Meanwhile, Doc and Waverly attempt to navigate their way through the Garden. Essentially, it’s a snowy, desolate terrain with doors scattered throughout. Doc is unable to find the door from which he arrived, as they apparently move about.
Next, Nicole chastises Wynonna for drugging her. Wynonna apologizes while holding a pad to her bloody nose. Very on brand for our crazy chick without a gun. In addition, she tells Nicole that the BBD lab in Monument may contain another entrance to the Garden. Nicole agrees to accompany Wynonna under a myriad of conditions. Firstly, no more lying. No pranks. No going rogue. Oh, and Nicole is driving. Wynonna calls Nicole “daddy” and reluctantly acquiesces. Nicole is a daddy, y’all.
Meanwhile, Waverly wanders toward the stone throne from the beginning of the episode. However, Doc urges her to refrain from sitting on it. Said throne belonged to Waverly’s angelic father, Julian. The pair meander off toward a large building of sorts that sports a spiral staircase. They descend it and find a man who appears disoriented. He’s bearing plenty of bloody wounds and matching cuts. Waverly believes he’s a former BBD agent that got stuck in the Garden without an exit strategy. Said man mentions that only human blood will sate whatever is locked up inside this fortress.
Now, the man tries to persuade Doc and Waverly to feed this creature their blood. Doc’s a vampire and Waverly’s part angel, so they don’t exactly fit the bill. Waves asks if there’s a way out of the Garden. Suddenly, the man decapitates himself with a giant pair of garden shears. What a way to go. We hear intermittent growling and roars reverberating throughout the seemingly hollow fortress. Doc suggests they feed the BBD homeboy to the elusive creature that requires a steady supply of blood.
Next, Wynonna and Nicole arrive in Monument at the BBD lab. Wynonna reveals that Gloria Valdez is dead, much to Nicole’s chagrin. However, there could be something else indicative of another entrance to the Garden. But, as of now, the building seems pretty empty. That is, until a mysterious someone shoots Wynonna’s whiskey flask out of her hand. That’s a great way to piss off an Earp, you know.
Meanwhile, Doc and Waverly feed the dead agent to mystery monster. After leaving the fortress, Doc sets up a fire outside to keep them warm. He tells Waves he wants to apologize for his many transgressions, but she asserts that his coming to save her is all that matters. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s a sweet moment that truly encapsulates Waverly’s attitude in a nutshell. Suddenly, Doc is overcome with fatigue and begins rambling incoherently about their friends. It’s almost as if the Garden is mentally manipulating him — playing mind tricks. Waverly’s memory also gets foggy.
Back at the BBD lab, Wynonna is the bait while Nicole fires at their new friend. Nicole urges her to “zigzag,” which tells me she’s never watched that episode of Game of Thrones with Rickon. Never zigzag! Anyway, after a series of exchanged not-so-friendly fire, Nicole knocks the mystery figure who initiated the shooting unconscious. Success! Haughtpants= 1. Mystery figure= 0.
Later, we see that mystery figure is a young girl named Rachel (Martina Ortiz-Luis). The young girl reveals that Gloria Valdez is her mother. Apparently, Rachel’s mom went missing so she decided to return to BBD to find her. Oh, and weird sh*t has been afoot in this facility. BBD executed a gas experiment that went terribly awry. Additionally, Rachel knew Dolls, but she was unaware of his passing. I like Rachel. She’s all the teenage sass.
Meanwhile, Waverly returns to the large fortress where the BBD agent decapitated himself. She hears an incessant grumbling signifying that the beast is hungry…again. Waves feeds it her blood, which manages to do the trick. Suddenly, a slew of flowers burst into bloom and a peaceful quiet pervades the atmosphere. Angel is as angel does. She also wanders into another room which boasts four books. There’s one for Waves, one for Doc, one for Wynonna, and one for Nicole. They’re propped up on a pulpit of sorts that says, “Choose one, choose wisely.” We see Waverly snatch up a book, but which one remains to be seen.
Later, Rachel vows to take Nicole and Wynonna to her mother’s lab. However, there’s a caveat: everyone must remain silent. Absolutely quiet. Naturally, Wynonna does the opposite and proceeds to ask questions. They stumble upon a room wherein a horde of agents are dead as dead can be. Nicole realizes that BBD gassed their own employees. What a great company to work for!
Suddenly, against Rachel’s express instructions, Wynonna sets off a bomb. The loud noise stirs the dead. Oh yeah — the deceased employees are zombies, so that’s why Rachel urged them to keep mum. Way to blow, Earp! The trio proceed to kick zombie butt in the best way possible. God, I missed this show. Ladies kicking zombie ass is just what the doctor ordered on a Sunday.
Next, Wynonna gets her foot caught on a grate. Underneath said grate, there’s a slew of zombies waiting to grab an ankle or two. Nicole bravely pushes Wynonna out of the way and falls through the grate. We see her continue to fall into the darkness below. “If you die, I’m going to kill you!” Wynonna screams.
Then, Doc wakes up to discover Waves is missing. However, a lovely cherry blossom tree stands in her stead. While Doc is steeped in his search for our Waves, he hears another voice calling out her name. He finds Nicole inside the fortress and…she’s naked. Completely. And armed with a smile. She greets him and vice versa. Did Nicole fall through that grate into the Garden? Did the trip over that threshold strip Nicole of her clothing? Guess we’ll find out next week!
RELATED: SDCC 2020: Wynonna Earp Cast Earps It to the Max
Holy guacamole, Earpers! Who knew our sh*tshow would go this hard? “On the Road Again” was laden with Easter eggs just for Earpers, a wonderful new character in Rachel, and clever one-liners aplenty. This episode felt like getting drinks with an old friend. Simultaneously, it felt like reuniting with family. Our heroes are back because heroes always win. Wynonna Earp perfectly set up the season. Some questions were answered while others were left dangling — exactly how a season premiere should be. As per usual, Scrofano is a damn delight.
Where do you think Jeremy and Robin are? Who or what chained up Waverly when she first arrived? Did Nicole really fall through that grate and straight into the Garden? Join me next week as I recap Wynonna Earp, here on Geek Girl Authority.
Wynonna Earp airs Sundays at 10pm on your Syfy affiliate.
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What I do: I'm GGA's Managing Editor, a Senior Contributor, and Press Coordinator. I manage, contribute, and coordinate. Sometimes all at once. Joking aside, I oversee day-to-day operations for GGA, write, edit, and assess interview opportunities/press events.
Who I am: Before moving to Los Angeles after studying theater in college, I was born and raised in Amish country, Ohio. No, I am not Amish, even if I sometimes sport a modest bonnet.
Bylines in: Tell-Tale TV, Culturess, Sideshow Collectibles, and inkMend on Medium.
Critic: Rotten Tomatoes, CherryPicks, and the Hollywood Creative Alliance.
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