DISCLAIMER: This Wynonna Earp recap of “War Paint” contains more spoilers than the number of times Wynonna has utilized alcohol as a solution to her problems. Hey, it helps her think. You’ve been warned. Make your peace, and enter at your own peril.
Welcome back, Earpers! Wynonna Earp ended its special two-episode finale with quite the gut punch. There were twists and turns aplenty, along with enough shock and awe to last a lifetime. Old threads were tied up while new ones were simultaneously created. Essentially, Emily Andras and The Earp Powers That Be gifted us with the perfect season finale. Bulshar brought the fight to the Homestead. Bobo, as Bulshar’s first officer, mercilessly slaughtered poor Julian. Waverly swooped in and killed Bobo herself (RIP Revenant we loved to hate). In the end, Waverly granted Wynonna the power to wield the Champion’s sword – and wield it she did. Bye, Bulshar! Unfortunately, an unseen force on the other side of the door to Paradise sucked Waverly inside. Well, that escalated quickly.
Alright, ready to delve into “War Paint?” Just be sure to keep away from Doc while he’s jonesing for blood. He gets cranky when he’s blood thirsty.
Now, we open with Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) giving her Revenant army her best Braveheart speech. She’s trying to motivate her troops prior to facing off against Bulshar. Wynonna realizes that, since she’s bound to Bulshar, the moment she slaughters him the Earp curse will be lifted. This will also ensure the Revenants’ freedom as well – freedom to travel beyond the Ghost River Triangle, for one. Our girl is willing to accept a life of normality. She lifts the spell protecting the Homestead from Revenants and ushers her army inside for one last drink. Party time!
Meanwhile, Bulshar (Jean Marchand) is preparing to launch his grand scheme. Bobo Del Rey (Michael Eklund), freed from his glass prison, stands beside him as his first officer. Bulshar morphs Peacemaker into a sword, shoving it into the ancient dilapidated staircase. You know, the one leading to the Garden of Paradise. A red door materializes, and Bulshar dispatches one of his henchmen to step over the threshold to Paradise. However, since said henchman is not mortal, he perishes instantly upon the effort. Bulshar sends Bobo to hunt down Waverly. Uh oh. His angel!
Later, Waverly (Dominique Provost-Chalkley) returns to the Homestead. Wynonna is furious at Charlie for not whisking Waves as far away from Purgatory as possible. Waverly divulges some pertinent information regarding her real father, who is Charlie. Um, Julian. Wynonna is instantly filled with a mix of embarrassment and dread at the act of her boinking Waverly’s dad. If you think about it, both Wynonna and Mama Earp horizontally tangoed with Waverly’s father. All in the family, I guess?
Next, we see Nicole (Katherine Barrell) is still at the Gardner mansion tending to a healing Kate (Chantel Riley). Nicole is fretting over the whereabouts of her girlfriend, naturally. Mercedes (Dani Kind) makes her grand entrance, as per her usual. Kate and Mercedes begin to bond, and now I’m chomping at the bit to see a potential spin-off series with these two. Suddenly, Bulshar’s lackeys (the beekeeper dudes) burst inside the mansion and attack the trio. Nicole fights like a boss, as does Kate. However, Nicole is nicked in the side with an ax and immediately flees to seek the shelter of the Homestead.
Now, the beekeeper demons also appear at the police station while Jeremy (Varun Saranga) and Robin (Justin Kelly) are hard at work cultivating an elixir powerful enough to end Bulshar. We see Bulshar’s severed arm inside a jar. Thankfully, Nedley (Greg Lawson) swoops in to save the day, taking out the baddies left and right.
Meanwhile, Nicole is trudging away toward the Homestead, but her pace slows with each step. She’s growing weaker and weaker no thanks to her ax wound. Nicole collapses on the side of the road. We see a pair of boots meandering toward her. Who could it possibly be?
Later, Wynonna confronts Julian (Sebastian Pigott) regarding all the fun new tidbits she learned. As it turns out, Julian never stopped loving Mama Earp. Of course, he also has space in his heart for his daughter Waverly. Suddenly, Doc (Tim Rozon) is seen carrying a barely conscious Nicole toward the duo. Perhaps he’s trying to redeem himself for being a blood thirsty turd? Julian uses his angel powers to heal Nicole’s wound. It works, and our Sheriff Haught is good as new. However, Julian is now bereft of his powers.
Then, Bobo pays Waverly a visit in her room. He reveals himself as Bulshar’s puppet, coughing up dirt like Robin once did. He urges Waverly to grant him an escape route should things go sour, or should he do something truly evil. Bobo wants his angel to kill him. Waverly agrees to this.
Meanwhile, Doc procures the sword he found in the Gibson greenhouse. He hands it to Julian, and the latter reveals that it is indeed his sword. Julian comments on Doc’s ability to hold said weapon. Only someone truly evil wouldn’t even be able to touch it let alone hold it as Doc is currently doing. There’s still goodness in ol’ John Henry, folks!
Next, we see Jeremy crafting a proper solution to their collective Bulshar problem. He blends (yes, blends) Bulshar’s severed arm with Robin’s blood. They simply have to paint themselves with said concoction, which will act as a repellent to Bulshar’s beekeepers. This will enable Wynonna the space and time she needs to slaughter Bulshar. Go, Jeremy, go!
Later, Julian gifts Waverly with his ring. He no longer has the power to wield it. Waves will need the magical talisman more than him. Aw, a present from her pa!
Suddenly, Bulshar and his baddies arrive on the Homestead’s doorstep. Chaos ensues and the battle begins. Wynonna and her Revenants are having trouble infiltrating the enemy’s line of defense, though. But, our heroes are fighting the good fight. We see Bobo kidnap Wynonna and bind her to a tree stump as an offering to the Serpent. Bulshar utilizes an ax to slice her hand open, despite appearances to the contrary. He made it seem he was aiming to chop our heroine’s head clean off. Bulshar plans to use Wynonna’s blood to aid him in gaining access to the Garden of Paradise.
Well, I spoke too soon. Bulshar’s executioner bursts in with a chainsaw, ready to decapitate Wynonna. However, Julian swoops in and saves her. He takes out the executioner. Julian is bereft of his ring and powers, so he isn’t much help in ending Bulshar. Bobo sneaks up behind the angel and stabs him in the back. Julian collapses, lifeless. Waverly arrives on the scene and makes good on her promise to Bobo. She takes his life. RIP Bobo Del Rey. We hardly knew ye.
Later, Wynonna chases a fleeing Bulshar into the forest. Unfortunately, the Serpent makes her Revenant army vanish into thin air. He used Wynonna’s blood to break the Earp curse…and break it he did. Wynonna’s powers are gone.
Next, Wynonna forlornly arrives at her home. Powerless, Earp heir-less and with her nemesis one step closer to succeeding. She reconciles with Doc, despite all the crappy things he’s done lately. For example, killing Wynonna’s sort of boyfriend then attempting to kill him a second time. However, they’re Wynonna and Doc. They’re two peas in a pod. Wynonna lays on a smooch, using said snog to distract Doc as she handcuffs him inside the barn. Oh, and surrounds him with a rope doused in holy water. Good thinking, Earp.
Then, WayHaught finally reunites after what feels like an eternity of separation. Waverly reveals that she’s already lost someone important today, and she doesn’t plan on losing anyone else. She proposes to Nicole with her father’s ring. Hey, it may be gaudy, but it works in a pinch. Nicole, naturally, says yes. Our girls are getting married! It’s a Christmas miracle!
Later, Wynonna and her merry band of misfits are gathered inside the Homestead. Jeremy and Robin reveal the purpose of the Bulshar concoction. Our heroes share a round of drinks together, celebrating their last moment of freedom before continuing the fight against Bulshar. That is, until Wynonna drugs everyone except Waverly. She cites that she doesn’t want her remaining friends to get hurt. She does need her angel sister by her side, though. Wynonna snatches the Bulshar concoction and consumes it. Waverly does the same.
Now, our pair creeps past the beekeepers undetected. Mission accomplished! Our Earp sisters find Bulshar next to the ancient staircase, preparing for his ascension to Paradise. Not on their watch, dude! Waverly begins ascending the staircase herself and pulls the sword within from the stone. Waverly deigns Wynonna the champion and grants her the ability to wield the sword in the name of heaven. Wynonna now has a powerful weapon meant to dispatch a Serpent at her disposal. We see Bulshar intermittently shift into snake form and, guys, it ain’t pretty.
Suddenly, Waverly discovers that she can’t exit the staircase. A barrier prevents her from doing so. Right as Wynonna delivers the death blow by plunging the sword into Bulshar’s stomach, the Serpent bites her neck. Poison begins to seep into her veins. Our girl is knocking on death’s door. Bulshar has finally been defeated…but at what cost?
Next, Doc comes to the rescue by sucking the poison out of her neck. Wynonna is now poison-free, albeit a bit weak. Suddenly, a plethora of tree branches snake their way outside the open door to Paradise. They latch onto Waverly and yank her across the threshold, much to the dismay of Wynonna and Doc. Waverly attempts to resist them, but to no avail. She disappears to the other side. No, this isn’t the way to celebrate the success of defeating a powerful enemy!
Now, Doc volunteers as tribute to go find Waves. He’s able to ascend the staircase, despite his immortal status. See, there is good in Doc after all! Wynonna is left alone, standing solo in the forest.
Later, Wynonna returns to the Homestead and finds Nicole and co. have vanished. She heads into Purgatory proper and finds it a literal ghost town. Not a soul to be seen. Well, except Nedley, who is camping out in Shorty’s. Everyone is gone and the fight is not yet over. Wynonna and Nedley decide to team up and save Purgatory together. I wholeheartedly approve of this team up.
Wynonna Earp Season 3 is the series’ strongest collection of episodes to date. Never a throw away moment. Everything was connected, and the show’s mythology was the most solidified its ever been. Wynonna Earp has hit its stride, and I’m tickled pink to see where Season 4 takes us. With a massive cliffhanger like this one, I’ll be waiting with bated breath to see how Wynonna saves Purgatory. Oh, and how Doc saves Waverly. There’s going to be a lot of saving, Earpers. But it wouldn’t be our s**tshow without it.
Now, do you think we’ll see the Garden of Paradise next season? Will Mama Earp return to aid Wynonna in her next adventure? Who is “Valdez,” the name that was carved inside Wynonna’s home? Where did everyone else go? Will we get a glorious WayHaught wedding in Season 4? Join me next time as I recap Wynonna Earp, here on Geek Girl Authority. If you need me in the meantime, I’ll be binge watching Seasons 1-3 until my eyes bleed.
Wynonna Earp Season 4 will air in 2019 on your SyFy affiliate.