DISCLAIMER: This recap of Wynonna Earp episode “Look at Them Beans” is rife with spoilers galore. You’ve been warned. Proceed with caution. 

Welcome back, Earpers! Our little-sh*tshow-that-could aired one of its most bonkers episodes yet. Wynonna Earp has never shied away from the bizarre, but “Look at Them Beans” takes the cake. Perhaps it’s because Purgatory has been effectively turned on its head. We were introduced to a slew of new characters. Revenants are the least of the town’s worries — now, there are a multitude of new beasts roaming the Ghost River Triangle. Not to mention, a new sheriff imposing his rule with an iron fist. Just a whole lot of “new.” 

Ready to delve into “Look at Them Beans?” Let’s get to it. 

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Now, we open with an image of several bodies swaying in the breeze. Apparently, while Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano), Waverly (Dominique Provost-Chalkley), and Doc (Tim Rozon) were in the Garden, Purgatory took the law into its own hands. Execution by noose is the way of the land, folks. At this point, Wynonna and Doc are still unaware that they’ve been MIA for 18 months, three weeks, and four days. Our pair decide to mosey on over to Shorty’s to slake their collective thirst. 

However, Shorty’s is now a high-end organic food establishment that most likely has kombucha on tap. Chrissy Nedley is working behind the bar. Once she spots Wynonna, Chrissy morphs into a vengeful, wrath-riddled antihero with an itch to scratch — to see Wynonna swing for murdering one Randall Nedley. What the fig? Wholly impossible. After enacting a citizen’s arrest, a slew of Purgatorians drag Wynonna to a noose. Doc tries everything in his power to stop the angry masses.

Thankfully, before Wynonna can be hung for her supposed crime, a mystery man (Ty Olsson) in a Stetson orders them to free Wynonna. Apparently, he’s the new sheriff in Purgatory. But what about Nicole? The sheriff handcuffs Wynonna and reassures her that she’ll have a trial just like any other felon. As she’s being dragged to the police station, Wynonna urges Doc to fetch Nicole. 

Meanwhile, Waverly finally meets Rachel (Martina Ortiz-Luis) at the Homestead. The latter offers Waverly some homemade kombucha to maintain her hydration after the stair sex. Stair sex does tend to make one quite thirsty. Rachel is notified of a catch in one of her traps. We see Nicole (Kat Barrell) emerge with her gun at the ready. Apparently, demons aplenty have been attempting to claw their way into the Homestead. Revenants are a thing of the past. Now, monsters of all kinds roam the Ghost River Triangle. Waverly arms herself with a giant spoon, in case the entrapped monster is eating a massive bowl of soup. 

Still of Kat Barrell in Wynonna Earp.

WYNONNA EARP — “Look At Them beans” Episode 403 — Pictured: Katherine Barrell as Officer Nicole Haught — (Photo by: Michelle Faye/Wynonna Earp Productions, Inc./SYFY)

Now, the trio find Doc was actually entrapped and there’s a clamp clinging tenuously near his family jewels. Nicole frees him, and that’s when he reveals that Wynonna has been jailed. 

Next, we see Wynonna has been thrown in the glass encasement in Black Badge’s old stomping grounds. You know the one. Her roommate happens to be a half-demon named Casey. He fills her in regarding the goings-on of the last 18 months. After the town was evacuated due to the forest fires a.k.a. Bulshar’s blood moon party, a whole new crop of demons flooded Purgatory. Wild monster parties incessantly raged. There’s also a new border patrol of sorts guarding the perimeter. Demons cannot flee, but humans still can. The new sheriff came in and changed the game. 

Meanwhile, back at the Homestead, Doc asks Nicole regarding Kate’s whereabouts. She reveals that Kate was last spotted on the evacuation train. Jeremy is apparently safe, but hasn’t made contact with Nicole in months. Waverly tries to wrap her head around the fact that their short sojourn in the Garden equated to 18 months in the real world. Doc learns that Mercedes is now working at a new demon bar on the outskirts of town. He decides to pay her a visit to find out what exactly happened to Nedley, since she was the last one to see him alive. 

Oh, and Doc is reunited with his beloved Charlene! Just a wholesome story about a man and his mechanical steed. Still a better love story than Twilight. He travels to the Glory Hole, which is the aforementioned new demon bar. He meets the proprietor, a smooth-talking, soft-spoken otherworldly creature who definitely gives off a horny vibe. Doc notices Mercedes (Dani Kind) takes the stage for her act as “Portia Control,” and she sensually dances for the Glory Hole patrons. Portia Control is a terrific stage name. 

Later, Waverly heads to the station and poses as Wynonna’s lawyer. She asks the sheriff if she can file a judicial complaint. He reveals that the magistrate is responsible for handling such matters. We see said magistrate arrive on the scene. She appears to be your stereotypical party girl. Once she lays eyes on Wynonna, all bets are off. Nothing but seething hatred emanates from her. Of course, Wynonna has no idea who this magistrate is, but the latter appears to know her very well. Strange. 

Next, after Mercedes’ dance act, she has a chat with Doc. Mercedes is feigning to be a vampire for her safety, since it’s less than safe for humans in Purgatory at the moment. She reveals that she did everything in her power to help nurse Randy back to health, but he eventually ran off. Nedley wandered into the woods and that was that. No more Nedley. I don’t believe it. Our Nedley will never die! Mercedes also reveals that an elusive “people eater” is stalking the woods and killing everything in its path. Doc commits this information to memory and flees the scene. I hope this people eater is purple!

Meanwhile, the magistrate decides to stage a chili cook off with the inmates as the competitors. The winner of said cook off will receive a “get out of jail card.” In honor of Nedley, the cook off will be named after him. Wynonna has war flashbacks to the 2005 chili cook off. We also learn that Wynonna hasn’t pooped in 18 months. Chili certainly won’t help that kind of backlog. 

Still of Tim Rozon in Wynonna Earp.

WYNONNA EARP — “Look At Them beans” Episode 403 — Pictured: Tim Rozon as Doc Holliday — (Photo by: Michelle Faye/Wynonna Earp Productions, Inc./SYFY)

Later, Wynonna, Casey, and the other inmates are preparing for the cook off in not-Shorty’s. Nicole and Waverly arrive with supplies to aid Wynonna, since the latter isn’t a naturally gifted culinary artist. Wynonna and Nicole share a tearful reunion. WynHaught is back, Earpers! The magistrate gets things rolling and proves herself to be even more annoying than I thought possible. 

While everyone is cooking, Nicole reveals that the magistrate arrived after she returned to Purgatory. Then, the magistrate proceeded to take control and bring her own sheriff into the fold, promptly ousting our Nicole from the position. Rude. Doc finds an abandoned truck stuffed to the gills with booze. It’s his lucky day! Then, he spots the elusive people eater. It looks more like an ogre of sorts. Said ogre makes eye contact with Doc, and something comes over him. A feeling of familiarity, perhaps? 

Next, Nicole heads back to the Homestead and finds Rachel is injured. Rachel reveals that she was struggling with the ogre when “Daddy Blue Eyes” a.k.a. Doc distracted the monster and drew it away from the Homestead. This ogre has been trying desperately to gain access to the Homestead for months. 

Then, after pouring blood, sweat, tears, and a half pound of bacon into her chili, Wynonna and the others finish their masterpieces. The magistrate summons Miss Kidney Bean, otherwise known as Chrissy, to reveal the winner of the competition. 

Meanwhile, Nicole and Rachel hear the ogre outside tormenting Doc. Nicole begins shooting at the thing. Rachel urges Nicole to let Doc inside. However, Nicole merely stands there in silence as the chaos thrives around her. It’s as if she’s somewhere else. Thankfully, Rachel rushes to the door and gets Doc inside before the ogre can gain entrance. Doc reveals his theory after Rachel confirms something — he believes that this ogre is Nedley. He smells exactly like what Mercedes described in explicit detail. Doc also saw something in the ogre’s eyes. They appeared more human than beast. Doc surmises that Nedley is merely a host to a horde of puff demons that overtook his body. 

Still of Melanie Scrofano in Wynonna Earp.

WYNONNA EARP — “Look At Them beans” Episode 403 — Pictured: Melanie Scrofano as Wynonna Earp — (Photo by: Michelle Faye/Wynonna Earp Productions, Inc./SYFY)

Now, we learn that Wynonna is the winner of this year’s chili cook off! Huzzah! However, as she’s celebrating her win as the Chili Queen, the magistrate has her goons seize Wynonna. Waverly tastes the winning chili and spits it out in disgust. Wynonna didn’t win because her chili was the best — she won because the magistrate has bigger things in store for her. How ominous! Speaking of, we see the magistrate is rummaging for the keys to the sheriff’s vehicle. She’s going to deposit Wynonna at the border of the Ghost River Triangle. Wynonna knows the magistrate isn’t a Revenant. What’s the source of this inexplicable grudge? 

Then, the magistrate drops Wynonna off at the border. She ties Wynonna’s wrists and ankles and ushers the people eater/ogre/possessed Nedley to feast on Wynonna. Thankfully, before Wynonna is devoured for supper, Waverly arrives with a t-shirt cannon as a weapon. She wrestles with the magistrate. Suddenly, Doc and Nicole arrive, hot on her heels. Nicole is armed with a water gun and Doc with rope. Doc tries to lasso the people eater/ogre/possessed Nedley while Nicole blasts him with water. Wynonna laughs at the scene unfolding. Only in Wynonna Earp will you see a fight with a water gun, t-shirt cannon, and excess rope. Doc seizes the Nedley. Nicole’s water gun blasts away the “puffs” that were clinging to Nedley’s skin. Finally, our Nedley (Greg Lawson) is revealed in all his birthday suit glory. 

Next, Wynonna blasts a t-shirt from the cannon so Nedley can cover his Nedleys. Apparently, he’s bereft of his memories. The gang returns to not-Shorty’s so Chrissy can reunite with her father. She apologizes for how she treated Wynonna and thanks the gang for bringing back Nedley. Nedley attempts to talk to Nicole, but she brushes him off by urging him to get Chrissy out of dodge. 

Still of Dominique Provost-Chalkley and Tim Rozon in Wynonna Earp.

WYNONNA EARP — “Look At Them beans” Episode 403 — Pictured: (l-r) Dominique Provost-Chalkley as Waverly Earp, Tim Rozon as Doc Holliday — (Photo by: Michelle Faye/Wynonna Earp Productions, Inc./SYFY)

Later, Doc returns to the Glory Hole. He tells the proprietor that he knows where the latter’s supply truck is. Doc would like to strike a partnership — he’ll ensure that the demon owner’s product arrives safe and sound. So, what does Doc want in return? A favor. To be determined, of course. Shady business is shady business. 

Meanwhile, Waverly and Nicole are smooching in the latter’s bedroom. Nicole politely refuses to divulge what went on with her during the 18 months Waverly was MIA. Something is off with our Haughtpants, but methinks she’s most likely suffering from PTSD. Constantly battling demons by oneself for 18 months straight can get to a person. 

Next, we see Chrissy is finally getting out of dodge. She is stopped by the county’s border patrol. The officer hands over Chrissy’s papers to her supervisor…who happens to be Jeremy (Varun Saranga). Chrissy whispers that Wynonna, Doc, and Waverly are back in Purgatory. It would appear the once defunct Black Badge Division is now…funct? 

Then, Wynonna and Rachel have a little chat. Wynonna offers her bed to Rachel, since the kid earned it by helping out Nicole. As Wynonna takes her things out to the barn, she’s ambushed by a slew of soldiers in military garb. They take her captive while throwing a bag over her head. Yay! Kidnapping is fun! Welcome home, Wynonna.

RELATED: Read all Wynonna Earp recaps here!

There’s a lot to unpack with this episode. Barrell continued her top-tier performance streak by portraying someone with PTSD to perfection. I’m glad the Powers That Be didn’t brush her trauma under the rug. The magistrate appears to have some unspoken grudge against Wynonna, which I hope will be explored further. Doc’s shady dealings with the demon bar owner smack of, well, shadiness. I also hope we learn more about the new demon daddy in town. This episode boasted the signature Wynonna Earp debauchery that we all know and love, along with plenty of tender moments intermittently sprinkled throughout. 

Additionally, this episode marked Scrofano’s directorial debut. She knocked it out of the park, and imbued said episode with wonderful stylistic choices. Side note: I hope Casey stays. He’s a cool half-demon. Also, Nicole is now a mommy and a daddy. Dammy Haught, then? 

Why do you think the magistrate despises Wynonna? Is Black Badge really back from the dead and is Jeremy working for them again? What is it with people kidnapping Wynonna all the time? Join me next week as I recap Wynonna Earp, here on Geek Girl Authority. 

Wynonna Earp airs Sundays at 10pm on your Syfy affiliate. 

 

 

 

 

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