You know those horror movies that are supposed to be serious, but you can’t help but laugh at them because they are so bad? If you have been in the horror community for any time at all, you have likely seen at least one. It is quite probable that you have seen more. When it comes to Christmas horror, there are some pretty bad movies. So, if you are looking for something to giggle at this holiday season, here is a list of the five absolute worst movies featuring Santa.
If you are familiar with the story of Santa’s brother Krampus, you know that he is often referred to as a “demon.” This story works off of the premise that Santa himself is a demon. After spending a millennium spreading cheer, thanks to a lost bet with an angel, Santa has had enough. When the bet ends, he reverts to his demon ways. Instead of giving fun gifts, he brings the gift of fear.
I don’t even know where to start with this movie… I guess with the fact that Santa is played by WWE Superstar Bill Goldberg, just… why? It is supposed to be somewhat comedic, but it is my opinion that it falls incredibly flat. The effects are terrible, the acting no better. If you want to watch something so terrible that it may become your new favorite thing, Santa’s Slay is the way to go.
Once Upon a Time at Christmas
In Once Upon a Time at Christmas, a serial killer couple dresses up as Santa and Mrs. Claus. They then proceed to terrorize a small town. While they are wreaking havoc, a local cop must team up with a teenage girl to figure out the pattern that connects the seemingly random killings.
I do not think there are enough words in the English language to accurately describe how awful this movie is. First, “Mrs. Claus” looks more like the Wish version of Harley Quinn. This image is not curbed by the fact that her weapon of choice is a bat. Not to mention the ridiculous dialog, the terrible acting and the unimaginative plot. Once Upon a Time at Christmas is supposed to be entirely serious. However, I could not stop laughing through most of it.
Santa Claws is about a Scream Queen, Raven, whose marriage and life are falling apart. The one person she never expected to bring trouble, her quiet next-door neighbor, Wayne, is about to become deadly. It seems that Wayne has been harboring an obsession for Raven for a long time. Eventually, he goes over the edge and starts killing his way to Raven. All while dressed as Santa. His weapon of choice? A claw.
Does this movie really need an explanation as to why it is bad? A psycho who is obsessed with his neighbor goes on a killing spree with a claw while dressed as Santa. This one was doomed from the start. Add in the extreme amount of naked women, mostly terrible acting and total cheese-fest that is this movie.
Silent Night, Deadly Night
Silent Night, Deadly Night is all about Billy Chapman (Robert Brian Wilson). As a kid, Billy’s grandfather, who was supposedly in a catatonic state, tells him the “truth” about Santa. His grandfather says that while Old Saint Nick gives good boys and girls gifts, he punishes the naughty ones. Later that day, Billy’s parents are murdered by a man wearing a Santa suit. As an adult, little Billy turns into a killer himself. His disguise? A Santa suit.
I should preface this one by saying it is by far the most popular movie on this list. It has somewhat of a cult following. With that being said, there are several things about this movie that just do not “work,” at least in my opinion. The first thing is the primary character, Billy. He could have been a much better character, but he goes from seeing a murderer/rapist kill his parents. Then he is abused in the religious orphanage that he and his brother are sent to. He goes straight from that to a crazy killer. Also, the dialog once he grows up and becomes a killer. It is like he has regressed, not even when his parents died but to barely a toddler. “Naughty! Punish!”
In Red Christmas, a family gathers for the holidays in the countryside. The family spends more time bickering than anything else until a stranger appears on their doorstep. At first, all seems well and when the stranger seems to leave, they think that is the end of it. However, a decision the matriarch of the family made 20 years prior comes back to haunt them all.
This movie is incredibly predictable. The twist? It can be seen coming a mile away, at least. The kills are ridiculous and the “effects” are ineffectual. There is nothing scary about Red Christmas. Well, except maybe wondering if it is ever going to end. With that being said, it is also quite boring. It is soooo slow. If something verging on beyond a slow burn is your thing, you might love this movie.
There you have it, five of the worst Christmas horror movies featuring Santa! Do you agree with this list? Let us know in the comments!