Anything goes in What We Do In The Shadows. In “The Night Market,” Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) and Nandor’s (Kayvan Novak) relationship is put to the test and Nadja searches for a rare item.
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Nadja’s (Natasia Demetriou) nightclub is a hit! Partly thanks to Little Colin Robinson, aka Boy (Mark Proksch). Things are going great except the Wraiths and Boy aren’t very happy. The Wraiths started killing human patrons as a form of protest. And Boy is just tired and wants to read his books. He’s reading fairy tales. Laszlo (Matt Berry) tells him that it’s all rubbish and are based on real beings that aren’t as cute as the stories make them out to be.
The Guide (Kristen Schaal) informs Nadja that the wraiths have unionized. Nadja isn’t worried though. All she has to do is kill them all. Instead she meets with their leader Xerxes. Xerxes tells her two demands and Nadja is annoyed. She storms out of the meeting and goes straight to the library. She finds a book and gets an idea. They are going to the Night Market.
The Night Market is for supernatural beings. It’s kind of like a street market, but smelly. Guillermo wants to go and the vampires don’t mind. Nandor says he could pass for an orc. Marwa (Parisa Fakhri) was supposed to go too, but Nandor made a wish for her to stay home. Yes, the Djinn (Anoop Desai) is still around.
THE NIGHT MARKET
The group enters a subway train car. A random guy also enters, carrying a speaker. He starts his music and farts into a microphone. The smell is unbearable to humans and they exit the car at the next stop. Everyone who is left, except Guillermo, is demon kind. And they are all on their way to the Night Market.
The supernatural don’t have any kind of currency, so they barter for items. Nadja is looking for something in particular and she’s pretty good at bartering. She barters with valkyries and imps before finding a concert T-shirt. She knows that shirt will get her what she needs.
Nadja takes the shirt to a demon shop underground. She knows he has items under the counter. The demon really likes the shirt and offers Nadja a box of vials. Nadja is very happy with the trade.
Laszlo and Boy are wondering the market for books. Along the way, Laszlo shows Boy what the fairy tale creatures really look like. Boy seems disappointed by the revelations.
Guillermo follows Nandor around, trying to keep him from buying everything he sees. He bumps into a demon who mistakes Guillermo for an orc. They hear a crowd roar and Nandor says they found the familiar fights. Guillermo thinks the fights are all kinds of wrong. Nandor agrees because he knows Guillermo could kill them all. A vampire over hears the claim and announces to the crowd that Nandor has a contender.
Guillermo refuses to fight at first. The crowd thinks he’s a coward. Nandor will not be disrespected like that. He says the only thing his familiar is afraid of is killing all of the other familiars. Now he really has to fight. Guillermo only fights the other familiars to defend himself. He ends up beating a lot of familiars, but refuses to kill them. The vampire host does that for him. The host declares Guillermo the champion and the crowd hates him. The host gives Guillermo a bag of dog food as his prize.
Guillermo’s next opponent is an actual vampire. At first, Guillermo isn’t worried because he’s a vampire killer. But then he gets scared about what the other vampires will do. Nandor comes up with a solution. He tells the crowd that making his familiar fight a vampire is sick. But what’s more sick is if the familiar fights his master instead. The crowd loves it and begin chanting, “kill your friend!”
GUILLERMO V. NANDOR
Nandor says he’s not going to kill Guillermo. He’s just going to punch him and carry him away. Guillermo says they should put on a show for the crowd. Nandor says it will only take five seconds, insulting Guillermo. The last they faced off, Guillermo knocked Nandor off his own coffin. Nandor accuses him of cheating, but Guillermo says he didn’t have to. This is getting intense. Now the fight is real.
Guillermo pulls out a couple of stakes and twirls around before throwing them at Nandor. Nandor catches them and makes him angry. He chases the familiar around, but Guillermo pulls off part of the grille of a car and twirls it around like a spear. Nandor rushes at him and pushes the human back against the wall.
Guillermo isn’t down for long though. He runs upstairs and grabs a sword. Now the two are sword fighting. Guillermo tries to talk Nandor down, but the vampire is really mad now. Nandor throws the human over a rail and onto a trailer. The vampire is scared that he might have actually killed his familiar.
Guillermo busts out of the trailer and attacks Nandor, knocking him to the ground. The crowd chants for Guillermo to kill the vampire and Nandor agrees. He tells Guillermo to kill him. What kind of vampire is he if a human can beat him? Guillermo has a plan. He tells Nandor to pretend to snap his neck so they can get out of there.
Nandor jumps out of Guillermo’s arms, flips over his head and lands behind the human. He turns Guillermo’s head, making it look like he snapped his neck and Guillermo falls to the ground. The fight is over. Nandor raises Guillermo’s body over his head to show the crowd that the human is dead.
WATER LILY OF THE NILE
Nadja meets with Xerxes again and shows him the box she acquired. Nadja gives the box to the Guide. She removes the vials and Xerxes goes nuts. The vials contain the Water Lily of the Nile, a medicinal flower. It’s actually a narcotic that the Egyptians used to ease the suffering of the afterlife. It’s the only drug that helps with the pain of being a wraith. The wraiths will do anything for it.
Nadja doesn’t have enough to give all of the wraiths. But she has enough to give to the one wraith that tells all the other wraiths what to do. Xerxes agrees and tells the others to obey Nadja. The other wraiths kill Xerxes. Nadja gives in and agrees to give them Mondays off with pay. And she will build five new supply closets for them to sleep in. All is better.
Laszlo tucks Baby Colin Robinson into bed. He asks if the boy wants to hear a fairy tale. Baby Colin Robinson says no. He doesn’t want to read those books anymore. He wants to hear a real story about a real person. Laszlo reads “In Cold Blood,” by Truman Capote.
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What We Do in The Shadows airs Tuesdays on FX and the next day on FX on Hulu.
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