It’s opening night on What We Do In The Shadows. In “The Grand Opening,” Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) pulls out all the stops to make her nightclub a success. Laszlo (Matt Berry) tries harder to change Baby Colin Robinson’s (Mark Proksch) fate.
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The camera crew catches up with Nadja at the grand opening of her nightclub, Nadja’s. She scheduled the biggest vampire rap star, Richie Suck (Affion Crockett). Richie hasn’t been seen in ten years, so everyone is excited for his return. There is a large crowd at the door, but Nadja is not letting anyone in yet. The Guardian (Kristen Schaal) and her wraiths are putting the finishing touches on the decor.
Nandor (Kayvan Novak) is inside, having a drink and looking depressed. Nadja has a heart to heart with him and finds out he thinks that Marwa (Parisa Fakhri) is too perfect. He’s afraid that he’s not perfect enough for her. Nadja encourages him to do some improvements on himself, so he will feel deserving of her love. That gives Nandor the energy he needs to try some things.
Nadja gets a message that Richie Suck canceled his appearance. She and Guardian go to Richie’s house and find he’s being controlled by his familiar, Dr. Tom (Fred Armisen). Dr. Tom says Richie is traumatized by the music industry and needs to rest. And Richie believes Dr. Tom is saving him from himself. Nadja refuses to talk to Dr. Tom because he’s a familiar.
Baby Colin is no longer a baby. This week, he’s about 6, maybe 7 years old. He has a YouTube channel and talks about Legos. Laszlo is concerned that the kid will become a boring person. Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) says he’s just like any other kid who likes legos, roblox and musical theater. Laszlo is disgusted by musical theater and forbids it in the house.
Laszlo decides to take control of Colin’s education by robbing a museum. Colin constantly talks about how he ‘knolls’ his Legos into scenes from musicals. Laszlo gets annoyed before Colin walks through the lasers that rip the alarm system. They have to fly out of the museum, with Colin still talking.
Nandor tells Guillermo that he is going to make some improvements on himself to make his wife happy. Guillermo thinks he means emotional improvements. Nope. Nandor wants a larger penis. He’s about to make the wish when Guillermo stops him. Guillermo warns him that he has to be very specific with Djinn (Anoop Desai). They sit down with Djinn and go over every detail of what Nandor wants.
Nadja is negotiating with Richie to perform at the club, but Dr. Tom controls all aspects of Richie’s life, including when he feeds. Dr. Tom asks for double the pay for Richie’s appearance and that his jazz trio open the show. Nadja reluctantly agrees. It’s obvious that they are going to have to kill Tom.
Laszlo realizes that Colin is not interested in bad behavior. He throws him in a dumpster and tells him to catch rats. Colin finds old playbills instead and stats talking about the production. It’s clear to Laszlo that young Colin is destined to be a boring adult. So they head to the club to catch the Richie Suck show.
Djinn says Nandor’s request is a very common request. He’s never dealt with people so detail oriented and it’s annoying. Marwa interrupts their negotiations. She reminds him about the Richie Suck show. There are still a few small details to go over.
The vampires are getting angry while waiting for the doors to open. Richie and Dr. Tom are ready to perform, but Richie looks sad. The Guardian distracts Dr. Tom while Nadja talks to Richie. She basically calls him pathetic for letting a human control him. It’s time that he takes back his life and wear his fangs with pride.
The wish is almost ready. Guillermo comes up with the final stipulation. He cannot make Nandor’s penis larger by making every other man’s penis smaller. That’s what Djinn was going to do. Nandor is grateful that Guillermo caught that and says he will think of his familiar when uses his penis. That is his wish. The Djinn finally grants the wish. Nandor takes a peak and summons his bride to the bedroom.
The club is open but the vampires are unhappy with the jazz trio. They start chanting for Richie Suck. Dr. Tom tries to calm them down, telling them to be patient. Nandor arrives with Marwa and informs Guillermo that the Djinn tricked them. During sex with Marwa, all he could think of was Guillermo.
Nadja takes the mic and introduces Richie Suck. Richie thanks the crowd for the welcome. He introduces Dr. Tom, who tries to take over the mic. He tells Dr. Tom that he’s through listening to him and throws him into the crowd. Richie chants for the crowd to eat Dr. Tom as a handful of vampires huddle over Tom.
Richie hypes up the crowd and says he’s going to stand up comedy instead of rap. The crowd hates him and push him off the stage. Colin jumps on the stage and starts singing show tunes. He also tap dances and the jazz duo starts playing again. The vampires love it. Nadja thinks it disgusting, but at the same time she loves it. Baby Colin is going to keep her club open.
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What We Do in The Shadows airs Tuesdays on FX and the next day on FX on Hulu.
News Editor, Senior Contributor, and Press Editor. Coordinate breaking news, trailers and press releases. I also contribute reviews, recaps and interviews. Creator of the Indigenerd Wire, a column dedicated to the Indigenous creatives in pop culture.
GGA's resident Indigenerd, a little bit rez, a little bit classy...with a love for all things Star Wars, zombies, science fiction, and Indigenous. My ultimate goal is to start my own podcast.
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