It’s time to celebrate one of the greatest minds in history on What We Do In The Shadows. In “The Roast,” the vampires throw a roast to cheer up Laszlo (Matt Berry).
With everything that’s been going on, it’s no surprise that a vampire would need time to his or herself. But this is definitely something to be concerned about. Laszlo has been sitting quietly for the past three weeks. All he says is, “yes, yes, very good. Thank you.” Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) is extremely worried.
Nadja thinks it’s because of her hex. Nandor (Kayvan Novak) thinks it’s because he’s in a good place. Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) thinks it has something to do with his dreams. He dreams that he’s a baby and Laszlo is his daddy. (That actually happened.) Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) thinks it’s because of all of the work Laszlo is doing to find out why he’s only half a vampire. They all have tried their best to get a reaction out of Laszlo, but nothing works.
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The group sits down with the Guide (Kristen Schaal) to brainstorm about how to help Laszlo. The Guide suggests they throw a roast for Laszlo. None of the vampires are listening because they are thinking. Then Colin Robinson suggests they throw a roast for Laszlo. The others love the idea!
So many vampires, Dolly, and Sean (Anthony Atamanuik) the neighbor show up to roast Laszlo. Even the Baron (Doug Jones) is there, back to his old beautiful self. Laszlo stares into space while the vampires take turns burning him with crude jokes. Every now and then he will say what is now his signature phrase. “Yes, yes, very good. Thank you.”
Everyone is having a great time until Colin Robinson gets on the mic. It’s Guillermo’s turn and Nandor introduces him as a man who knows more about roasting than Arby’s. The Baron doesn’t get it, so the Guide enlightens him. She tells him that Guilermo is the one who opened the front door, let the sun in and burned the Baron. She also let it slip that Guillermo is a descendant of Van Helsing.
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The Baron interrupts Guillermo’s speech. At first he appears to be joining in the roasting of Laszlo Cravensworth. Then he starts yelling at the vampires for being basic. Vampires are supposed to be terrifying. He calls the entire event an embarrassment to the word, ‘vampire.’And the worst part is that this house harbors a vampire killer. Guillermo tries to sneak away, but the Baron calls him out, and chases him down.
Guillermo uses some of his Van Helsing moves plus his new vampire skills to get away from the Baron. Nandor and Nadja chase after the Baron, trying to stop him, but he just tosses them to the side. The Baron literally turns over cars to find Guillermo. Nadja and Nandor watch from the front yard. The Guide comes to apologize for telling the Baron their secret, but Nandor is too concerned about Guillermo to hear her.
Nadja suggests they need to sit by and let the Baron and Guillermo fight it out. She says it might not be a bad idea to let Guillermo kill the Baron. Nandor reminds her that if the Baron dies, they die too. Nadja isn’t too upset by that idea either. But if they want to live, she has a plan. First they capture Guillermo by making him think they captured the Baron in a burlap sack. It’s really Colin Robinson, who tases Guillermo when he jumps out of the sack.
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Next, they use the same ruse to capture the Baron. Finally they sit the two down to calmly talk about their issue, with some facilitated by Nandor. The Baron understands that Guillermo did not know the Baron was wandering around the house when he opened the door. And Guillermo accepts that the Baron is very mad that he was fried. But the Baron still wants to kill him. And they are back to square one. Nandor calls a time out and leaves to get everyone a drink.
Guillermo tells the Baron that he renounced his Van Helsing heritage by becoming a vampire. The Baron is delighted, calling it a betrayal of Guillermo’s own kind. Then he finds out that Nandor didn’t turn Guillermo. And that is another kind of betrayal and humiliation. Which is why Guillermo asks everyone not to tell Nandor. Nadja already knew and is keeping mum. The Guide says she can keep any secret, even though she blabbed to the Baron about who burned him. And Colin Robinson doesn’t want to be a part of the narrative and leaves.
The Baron decides to leave as well. He says he and Guillermo are good now. Nandor returns with drinks and everyone shuts up. The Baron says he and Guillermo called a truce. Before the Baron leaves, he asks for a moment alone with Guillermo. He says he’s rooting for Guillermo, but he has to tell Nandor the truth. He also says that Nandor will probably kill Guillermo and then himself afterward. Guillermo really hopes that won’t happen. He can’t afford another accident. He opens the door for the Baron to leave and the sun is already up. It burns the Baron, just like before and Guillermo runs away.
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The next night, Nadja says when the Baron arises, he will go after Guillermo. When the Baron awakes, Nandor is waiting for him, asking for mercy on Guillermo. He says every vampire that Guillermo killed was in defense of his master. Whatever Guillermo’s flaws may be, he is a loyal familiar. The Baron finds that hard to believe. They can discuss after he finds Guillermo.
The Baron asks where Guillermo would go. No one really knows, but Laszlo comes out of his trance long enough to tell him that Guillermo is hiding in the tool shed. The Baron leaves, but quickly returns with Guillermo’s body. Nandor is so upset by Guillermo’s death that it makes the Baron feel bad.
Laszlo returns and says that the body is not Gizmo. It’s one of the hybrid creatures, Binky. He proves it by opening up the body and pulling out gills and an egg sack. The Baron decides to let Guillermo go. He called them all soft and it’s really him who’s soft. He lives a mediocre life in the suburbs of New Jersey. Even with the Sire as his roommate, his life is lonely. Something pops out of the hybrid body revealing that the creature was pregnant.
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Nandor is convinced that Guillermo is gone for good. He prepares for bed and finds Guillermo in his coffin. He wants to be sure that it’s really Guillermo so he asks him a few questions that only Guillermo would know. The last one is about a card that Guillermo gave Nandor on the first day he was familiar. Nandor asks what it said. Guillermo wrote that to become a vampire was his dream. But to be Nandor’s familiar was his honor. Aw!
Nandor says they have a long history. He knows Guillermo better than anyone. Including when Guillermo is keeping a secret from him. He asks Guillermo what he’s hiding. Guillermo is speechless. Then Nandor asks if he farted in his coven. Guillermo says he did and Nandor boops his nose.
Nadja says almost everything went back to normal. She gave the hybrid babies to the Baron. He and the Sire are having fun raising the babies. As for Laszlo, he finally snapped out of it. He says he was trying to decide if he should organize his books, by author or by title. He decided to organize them by author.
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You can stream What We Do in The Shadows on FX on Hulu.
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