Love is in bloom on What We Do in The Shadows. In “Gail,” Nandor’s (Kayvan Novak) on again, off again girlfriend pays a visit. Laszlo (Matt Berry) and Colin (Mark Proksch) find a classic car in the Vampire Council library.
Everyone in the house agrees that Nandor’s been acting weird. He leaves the house and is gone all night. He even put a corpse in his coffin to make everyone think it was him. Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) and Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) are annoyed, Laszlo thinks Nandor is sneaking off to watch porn, and Colin Robinson really doesn’t care. But he’s down to clown at the drop of a hat. (lol) So they follow Nandor and find him having sex with an old girlfriend.
Her name is Gail (Aida Turturro). Nandor has been dating her on and off for the better part of 40 years. Everyone thinks Nadja doesn’t like Gail, but she’s just concerned for Nandor. They have a pattern where Gail comes around for a few days. Nandor asks her to become a vampire and she declines. Gail leaves and Nandor is heartbroken.
Nadja is trying to build a website for the Vampire Council but she wants Nandor’s input. But! Gail is coming to stay at the Vampire residence and Nandor is ready to take things to the next level. He even took Guillermo’s mini fridge to stock yogurt for Gail. This must be serious.
Meanwhile Colin and Laszlo spend a lot of time in the Vampire Council library. Colin is determined to find the origin of energy vampires. Laszlo tries to help him, but gets distracted by a book. He finds a book that he knows for certain was never released in hardback. When he pulls the book from the shelf, a secret door opens.
Behind the door is Laszlo’s jalopy … an old car. The Vampire Council confiscated the car to punish Laszlo for transporting miners, yes … like coal miners … across state lines. Laszlo wants to take the car for a spin and Colin Robinson is all for it. He even has a mix of music prepared that has “Hey There Delilah” ready to play 25 times. He also brings a bag of trail mix to lose in the crevices of the seats.
Gail arrives and Guillermo is shook. He tells Nadja that she will never get Nandor to focus as long as Gail is around. He encourages Nadja to talk to Gail. The crew interview Gail and she compares Nandor to sardines. At first you’re not sure you’re going to like them. But then you eat sardines and you like them. You end up eating five or six cans a day for a few days, but then decide you’ve had enough. Five years goes by and you want sardines again.
Nadja takes Guillermo’s advice and tries to talk to Gail but she only wants to talk about her human daughter. And it doesn’t help that Nandor is dancing around without any pants on. He’s ready to pop the question but Guillermo has the ring. Nandor asks Nadja to chat with Gail while he’s gone.
Laszlo brags that the car is one of only four in existence. He starts the car and a cloud of black smoke shoots out the back. The car runs on gasoline and coal. Laszlo is ready to go for a ride and Colin is excited that they’re going to Buffalo. He even brought his mix tape of 25 recordings of “Hey There Delilah” and trail mix to shove into the crevices of the seats.
Laszlo runs over Colin trying to drive the car out of the room. Neither of them are sure how to get the car out and they aren’t really listening to each other. The room was obviously built around the car. Colin comes up with an idea, but Laszlo hits him with the car a second time. Laszlo obviously doesn’t know what he’s doing.
Colin’s idea is to take the car apart, move it piece by piece outside and reassemble it. Laszlo watches as Colin takes it apart. He noticed lately that Colin Robinson seems lonely. Spending time with Colin is Laszlo’s good deed.
Colin thinks Laszlo is lonely now that Nadja is always busy with the Vampire Council. They’ve never really spent much time together. Colin thinks Laszlo just needs a friend. They talk about their parents. Laszlo was raised by his nanny so he didn’t really know his parents. Colin says his dad was really dynamic, but his mom was really boring. They take the pieces of the car outside, while purposefully knocking things over.
Nadja sits with Gail as she is getting dressed. Gail is ready to leave because she has to get home to watch Grey’s Anatomy. Thursdays are for the gals. But it’s Saturday. Gail runs out the door and Nadja chases her. As soon as Gail gets outside, she turns into a werewolf. Nandor is dating a werewolf!
Laszlo and Colin finish putting the car back together when the Guardian (Kristen Schaal) comes flying toward them. She’s very angry because these two clowns destroyed a lot of priceless artifacts. They scold her for building the headquarters around the car. The Guardian informs them that there is a big red button on the inside and outside of the Council headquarters to open the garage so the car can be moved.
Colin decides to go home, but Laszlo wants to drive him home. When Laszlo starts the car, it backfires and sets Colin Robinson on fire. Colin starts flailing around but then laughs saying he’s fine. It’s just a little fire.
Laszlo and Colin find Nadja yelling at Nandor when they get home. Nandor explains that Gail just recently became a were ‘woman.’ Laszlo is disgusted. Nadja says they are leaders of the Vampire Council. How would it look if everyone found out Nandor was dating their mortal enemy? Guillermo watches from afar, smiling. He says he just wants his master to be happy.
Nadja continues to scold Nandor for being so careless. He says being a werewolf is not a crime. The only crime Gail is guilty of is stealing his heart. Even Nadja doll rolls her eyes at that one. Nandor asks the house to go with him to meet Gail’s pack. Everyone but Nadja agrees to go. Nandor says he knows Nadja doesn’t like Gail. Nadja has to defend herself, saying again she likes Gail. She agrees to go.
The Vampires meet the Werewolves in a park. The last time the vampires and werewolves met, Nandor threw something over a building to make the wolves fetch it. Everyone is ready to bury the hatchet though. Until Guillermo spots Gail making out with another werewolf. Clearly, Gail is not the monogamous type. Guillermo confronts her, saying he is Nandor’s heart and bodyguard. That reminds the wolves that they need to take their heartworm medicine.
Nadja is ready to defend Nandor too, and suggest they fight to the death. Guillermo says they should settle their differences with a game of kickball, like in Twilight. Laszlo uses his bat powers to score a home run.
When it’s Nadja’s turn, Guillermo tells her to act like the ball is Gail’s head. Nadja yells that she doesn’t dislike Gail and kicks the ball really hard. The ball hits Gail in the head, killing her. Nandor runs to her side and does the only thing he knows how to do. He feeds his blood to Gail, turning her into a vampire. Just what Nandor always wanted.
Nandor finally asks Gail to be his vampire bride. Gail says she’s been married before and doesn’t think it’s really for her. But they have all of eternity to figure things out. She asks Nandor to wait for her and he always will. Gail says goodbye to everyone, turns into a bat and flies away.
The Guardian helps Nadja and Nandor create a website. Laszlo gets the car fixed and offers everyone a ride. When Nandor looks at the moon, he’s reminded of Gail. Everyone jumps in the car. Guillermo sits on the back of the jalopy. When they take off, werewolves come running after them.
What We Do in The Shadows airs Thursdays on FX and the next day on FX on Hulu.
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