The vampires of What We Do In The Shadows have lived a long life. How long? Long enough to make some enemies. In “On the Run,” Laszlo (Matt Berry) is visited by a vengeful enemy. Mark Hamill guest stars as Jim the Vampire!
This episode begins with a game of Find the Dead Bodies, or at least that what the vampires think. In fact, Gizmo…I mean Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) is marking where the bodies are buried because it is a health hazard for him, mostly. The decaying bodies are causing sinkholes that the mailman discovers is gross. The game is interrupted when someone throws a dagger at Laszlo. That someone jumps into the yard, seeking someone to kill. Guillermo hides behind a tree, ready to defend his master while Nandor (Kayvan Novak) suggests that the stranger kill Guillermo. Huh?
Fortunately, the stranger, in a dark cloak that covers his face like he’s the Emperor in Star Wars…he he. He’s not looking for Nandor, Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), or Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch). Guillermo stands down when he hears that the strangers is actually looking for Laszlo. The stranger doesn’t even want Guillermo because it wouldn’t be satisfying enough.
It seams that Laszlo offended this stranger, Jim the Vampire (Hamill), some 160 years ago. Laszlo went to San Diego to meet the Devil so he could become a great guitar player. Of course he was misinformed. The Devil’s crossroads are in Mississippi. Anyway, while in San Diego, Laszlo rented a house from Jim the Vampire. He skipped out on one month’s rent and the deposit. 160 years ago!
Jim the Vampire challenges Laszlo to a duel. Nandor oversees the duel to make sure it is fought with honor. And then the obvious happens. Laszlo turns into a bat and flies away. Poor Jim the Vampire.
Laszlo flies to a hotel room, pulls out a pen and paper and writes a letter to Nadja. He bids her farewell because he can never go back home now that Jim the Vampire found him. And there is no honor in dying. Laszlo pulls out a box with his go to disguise. A pair of blue jeans and a toothpick. From there Laszlo heads to Pennsylvania because it sounds like Transylvania. Cool huh?
Laszlo changes his name to Jackie Daytona, takes over a bar, and makes a lot of new friends, all human. The town loves him. He’s always so fun and the fact that he’s vampire never comes up. He even became the number one fan of the local volleyball team. Funny how they weren’t very good at the game until Jackie Daytona showed up. And Jackie’s most prized possession is his mechanical Turk – a Billy Bass talking fish hanging over the bar. Oh and he covered up all of the mirrors in the bar, because he’s so modest.
Things are going well with one tiny problem. The volleyball team qualifies for the state playoffs, but they don’t have to money to go. This just crushes Jackie Daytona. Until he hears the barmaid, Lucy (Madeleine Martin) singing. He decides to put together a bar band and charge people to hear them play. Then give all of the money to the volleyball team to go to state.
While they are preparing for the big night, Nadja is completely distraught about the missing Laszlo. She cries at the drop of a hat. It’s a good thing Colin Robinson is there to comfort her. But things get really weird one night and Colin Robinson tries to kiss Nadja. She rejects him of course. But Colin Robinson admits that the rejection is actually a very tasty energy morsel for him. He even tried kissing the Nadja Doll. She rejected him and it stung.
Jackie tends the bar one night and who should walk in, but Jim the Vampire. Jim the Vampire doesn’t recognize Laszlo with his toothpick in his mouth. Jim the Vampire orders a beer and pours out his heart to Jackie Daytona. It turns out that when Laszlo the vampire skipped out on Jim, that put him in financial ruin…for 160 years!
Jim gets up to leave and Jackie calls him by his name and says farewell. Jim stops dead in his tracks and asks how Jackie knew his name. Jackie pauses and then holds up a business card. Jim the Vampire is printed on the card.
The night of the big party is here. Lucy is a great singer. The crowd is enjoying themselves and they raised enough money to send the volleyball team to the state playoffs. Even Jim the Vampire shows up to support the volleyball team. He goes to the bar to order a martini and that’s when it happens. The cover on the mirror falls and all you see is the shaker in the mirror, but no Jackie.
The jig is up. Jim the Vampire finds Laszlo. The crowd realizes they are vampires and clear the room. The two vampires grab pool sticks and get ready for battle. They both break their pool stick and use the sticks to create a cross. But neither can look at the cross so they drop the stick to prevent from burning.
Laszlo grabs a bottle of liquor and pours it in his mouth. He lights a lighter and blows the liquor at Jim. Jim moves out of the way, but a banner catches fire and falls onto the money they raised for the volleyball team. Jim and Laszlo work together to try and put out the fire, but it’s too late.
They sit and talk after the fire is out and squash their beef. Laszlo promises to pay his debt to Jim. He gives Jim the mechanical Turk, Billy Bass. The only one in the whole world. Jim loves it and considers the debt paid. Excelsior! Laszlo says goodbye to Jackie Daytona, but drives his truck into a building. There’s only way to get home now. BAT!
Nadja is ecstatic to see Laszlo. Nandor says hello, but Laszlo isn’t satisfied with the welcome home. He was only gone for a week, but for Laszlo, it was a lifetime. It doesn’t matter though, he and Nadja have some time to make up for.
Laszlo went back and burned down his bar to make up for the money he burned. He hypnotized the entire town into forgetting that vampires existed. And then Jim moved to Pennsylvania to coach the volleyball team. Laszlo still has his toothpick though and uses the disguise from time to time on Nadja. The Nadja Doll sees right through it though.
As for Jim, he carries the mechanical Turk everywhere. So when a volleyball hits the Turk and breaks it, Jim is beside himself. The other volleyball coach tells him that he can get another fish anywhere. Jim gets angry, thinking Laszlo conned him and screams his name
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