DISCLAIMER: This recap of Twisted Metal Season 1 Episode 1, “WLUDRV,” contains spoilers. This episode contains sensitive material such as suicide and graphic violence and may not be suitable for younger readers.
Welcome, everyone, to the first recap of Peacock’s new series Twisted Metal. Strap on your seat belts; it is going to be a bumpy ride!
The series opens on an “apocalyptic dump” as our narrator, John Doe (Anthony Mackie), so eloquently puts it. We learn that 20 years ago, a bug took out the internet and civilization with it. The cities put up walls and threw out all of the criminals to fight over what was left, which is pretty much guns and cars. Our main character explains he is a “milkman,” which is someone who transports precious cargo from city to city. It is tough out there, but luckily, this is Twisted Metal, and you can have frickin machine guns on your car.
Then, it begins exactly the kind of awesome, bloody, and fast past paced car chase you would expect from this franchise. My favorite part of this scene is when someone blasts a rocket launcher through an EB Games and a copy of the original Twisted Metal on PlayStation flies across the windshield. This tells us that the series takes place around the same time the original game was released (1995), and EB Games still existed in the U.S. anyway. When I was in high school, I worked at EB Games (so yes, this takes place a long time ago) when GameStop bought it out, so I thought this was hilarious.
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After a fun, gore-filled chase through a mall peppered with explosions and cheesy but funny jokes, the mailman manages to snag a pair of Nikes after a narrow escape. We are then hit with the classic Twisted Metal logo that should trigger some serious nostalgia for any fan.
The milkman pulls up to a guarded post and shows his “ID,” which is a little novelty license plate that says JOHNDOE. The guards verify his identity by the “Got Milk?” bumper sticker on his car. Remember those? We then watch him complete a delivery to a woman with a man dressed as a dog on a leash. For this delivery, he excitedly receives Bosch windshield wipers. These come in handy when he later has to machine gun a vulture’s (robber) testicles off to get him off of the roof.
John Doe stops for a pee break, and a masked man and woman attempt to steal his 2002 Subaru WRX named Ev3l1n. As they are being chased off, the woman named Quiet (Stephanie Beatriz) gives him the finger only to reveal a nub. John then takes a rest on the beach where he sees a family of seals and mutters, “Must be nice.” He then looks down to see an adorable baby seal and makes the most hilarious face I have ever seen.
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Cut to a sizzling baby seal steak on a makeshift grill. Yes, he ate the baby seal. He looks down at a burned-up family photo of a young boy with a beaming smile. Almost all of the other faces in the photo have been burned up. Oh, did I mention this entire scene is soundtracked by “Champagne Supernova” by Oasis? Yes, I know.
When John arrives in New San Francisco with insulin, he is rewarded with a handgun and some ammo. Before he speeds off, he is told that the COO of New San Fransico wants to see him. There are a lot more guards here with much better weapons and armor. We also learn that parallel parking is ironically a little tricky for our John Doe. He is decontaminated by men in protective suits with green goo. Oh, and they spray some fancy perfume on his booty.
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Raven (Neve Campbell) introduces herself as the COO of New San Francisco and, after a little banter, asks the milkman to deliver an unknown package to New Chicago. He is hesitant at first because it would be a long, dangerous trip. Raven then explains that she is very powerful and can give him everything he wants, including a place in the city.
Switch literal gears to a pink hearse driven by our masked woman and man from earlier. They are being chased and shot at by several police led by Agent Stone (Thomas Haden Church). We learn that they have been stealing. They are Napalmed over a cliff.
Raven invites John into her beautiful home for what looks like a gourmet dinner. We get the impression that John has not had luxuries like using utensils for a long time. He even meets her husband and baby, which our milkman has never seen before. John accepts the deal and has 10 days to bring the package from New Chicago to New San Francisco.
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A second later, and the deal expires. After he drives off, Raven’s smiling face instantly changes to disgust as she passes off the baby to a nearby guard. “Get it back to its mother,” she says as she wipes her hands and tells her ‘husband’ his payment is in his apartment. It seems our milkman has been fooled.
Switch gears again to our daring duo. With their ride upside down and out of commission, they are now on their knees at the mercy of the police officers. The leader monologues about how his code is to treat every little crime the same, including looting. The male looter explains that they are brother and sister and did not do what he thinks they did. The officer gives them the ultimatum of one commits suicide or he napalms them both. While they close their eyes and wait for a fiery death, the brother suddenly grabs a revolver and kills himself.
The officer notices her missing middle finger and explains in Orange County that they do barbaric things to keep their insiders in line. They brand her with a badge, and he leaves her a single bullet in case she wants to follow her brother. His goons also spray painted “resisted” on their wrecked vehicle. As the camera pans out, they are among several cars with the same mark.
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John stops by to see Tommy, who is an older man who deals in maps from an abandoned booby-trapped building. He warns him against it, saying he doesn’t know what is out there but gives him the map anyway. Tommy explains this trip is 2,132 miles with no cover or protection. The only shelter would come from “brainwashed, burger-worshipping screwballs.”
He says even the people trying to maintain the law out there are dangerous, as we have seen. He pleads for John to ask himself if the risk is worth the reward. The milkman smiles as scenes from the city flash in his mind and trades crayons for the map. As John leaves, Tommy reminds him he must go through Vegas, and we both know who runs Vegas…
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Ice cream truck music plays in the background as the camera closes in on a dismal-looking but iconic ice cream truck. The inside is filled with all sorts of blood-covered machetes and axes. We catch a large, demented-looking clown doing a little jig and laughing it up in his murder truck.
While noticing a penis drawn on the map, he almost runs over the sister from earlier. She attempts to hijack him, but they end up in a standoff. John recognizes her and realizes she is wearing her brother’s bloody jacket. Before he can try to reason with her, they notice the maniacal clown is quickly making his way toward them down the highway. The last scene is John and the sister back to back, guns raised, ready to take on the one and only Sweet Tooth, who is played by Joe Seanoa and voiced by Will Arnett.
Twisted Metal Season 1 is now streaming on Peacock.
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