Having found their way to the Time of Legends with a complete map, all that remains for Kevin (Kal-El Tuck) and Saffron (Keira Thompson) to do is rescue their mum, Lisa (Felicity Ward), and dad, Mike (James Dryden), from Pure Evil (Jemaine Clement). On Time Bandits Season 1 Episode 10, “Fortress of Darkness,” it’s a no-holds-barred battle for the blueprint of all creation. And the final decision lies with a nerdy kid in his pajamas.
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Bittelig (Rune Temte) introduces himself to Hen (Josh Thomson), sympathizing with the giant about the trials of being tall. Kevin also pops his head over the edge of the island and introduces himself. He asks Hen if he’ll help them save his parents. Hen agrees to help and then regrets it when he finds out he has to take them to the Fortress of Darkness.
Time Bandits, “Fortress of Darkness”
Hen begins walking across the ocean to the Fortress of Darkness. Inside Gavin (Maaka Pohatu) and Susan’s (Ghenoa Gela) hut, Penelope (Lisa Kudrow) asks Kevin about his plan. Kevin says he plans on asking Pure Evil to release his parents. Penelope doesn’t think this will work. Bittelig and Widgit (Roger Jean Nsengiyumva) agree. Saffron insists she has a better plan and continues drawing pictures with the supplies in her lunch box.
Susan comes in and announces they’ve arrived. Outside, Penelope bids Gavin an emotional farewell. Hen places the whole group on an icy piece of land and leaves. The Time Bandits take the kids to the Fortress but have no idea how they’ll get inside. They scatter when they hear someone coming.
Pure Evil’s regenerating minion, John (Ben Fransham), emerges from the fortress. Spying the badly hidden bandits, he announces that he’s revealed the secret entrance. Hoping (out loud) that no one follows him in, he goes back in.
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The bandits wish the kids the best of luck, sticking with their promise to bring them to the fortress’s gates but not enter it themselves. Kevin asks them for the map. Widgit reluctantly gives it to him on Penelope’s direction. The kids step into the fortress and drop through the floor.
A Dream of a Lifetime
Kevin wakes up in his pajamas in his bed but without his translation cap. His mum and dad come in to check on him, saying they heard banging. Kevin jumped out of bed to hug them tight. His dad says he must’ve had a bad nightmare. Kevin insists he wasn’t asleep and starts pushing the wall to show them how his room in a time egress but it doesn’t budge.
Looking around his room, Kevin sees reminders of his many adventures. His parents look at him, concerned, assuring him it was a bad dream. He tries to explain that it wasn’t bad and that he had wonderful experiences throughout history and the world. His dad asks how he navigated through all the magical worlds he visited. His mum asks if he has an atlas or a chart. They point out there’s something new on his bed. Kevin reaches over and picks up the map. His mom says it’s probably giving him bad dreams and tells him to give it to her.
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Kevin jumps to his feet and moves to the other side of the bed. Clutching the map, he asks how Saffron’s doing. His dad assures him he doesn’t need to be jealous of his older sister. Kevin challenges them on that, pointing out that his real parents would know he was born before Saffron. Grabbing his yellow lunch box, he slides the map inside and puts on his translation cap.
Reunited
His parents begin to tremble and then transform into John and Damon (Johnny Brugh). They disappear, laughing, in a spurt of flame. The walls of Kevin’s room fall away, revealing Pure Evil’s throne room. Kevin teeters at the edge of the floor. Saffron grabs him and pulls him to safer ground. Pure Evil greets them from his throne.
Their parents are shackled next to the throne. They greet the kids. Kevin asks if they’ve suffered as Pure Evil’s prisoners. They’re both quite happy with their stay in the fortress. Mike says he’s helped improve Pure Evil’s Internet connectivity. Lisa points out some of the decor updates she’s made.
Their parents encourage Kevin to give Pure Evil the map. Kevin refuses. Pure Evil grows angry, promising to make things very unpleasant for Kevin and Saffron. Suddenly, Penelope and the Time Bandits arrive, stating they won’t stand for that. Kevin and Saffron are excited the others have come to save them. Penelope admits that they were captured as well.
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Fianna (Rachel House) enters, holding a red-hot poker on the prisoners, and claims the capture. Pure Evil asks how she tracked them down. She says they were just outside about to come in on their own. Pure Evil says there’s no reward for bringing them in when they were coming in anyway.
The Map
Pure Evil gets back to telling Kevin to give him the map. The Haddock parents tell Pure Evil to just take it since he’s already asked politely. Turns out he can’t. The map has to be given.
Rather than torturing them for the map, he shows them the life they could have in exchange for the map. Alto sees a world where he is performing on stage to universal adulation. On the balcony, Emmie (Jen Van Epps) cheers.
Widgit’s vision is one where he is the smartest man in the world, capable of opening any jar. Bittelig’s fantasy is a direct reflection of him and the Time Bandits in that moment. Despite Penelope asking some very sharp questions about the feasibility of everyone being in Bittelig’s fantasy at the same time as being in their own, Pure Evil hits her with a vision of sitting down to a meal with Gavin and their two children.
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Penelope smiles and Pure Evil interprets that as her liking what she sees. She corrects his thinking, explaining that the vision proves he’s not omniscient after all. The vision isn’t what she wants because Gavin doesn’t love her, and she’d hate to watch him forced to love her.
The Great Reset
Pure Evil shrugs off her critique and approaches Kevin with his final pitch. He offers to give Kevin his life back with a few tweaks. Kevin consults with Saffron and they both reject the offer. Pure Evil points out that if they don’t give it to him, it may end up with the Supreme Being, who plans to erase all human history.
The bandits realize the void that took Judy is a part that the Supreme Being already deleted. Pure Evil reasons that he’d never destroy the world. He just wants to make it miserable. So, to get the map, he’ll torture Kevin by torturing the people Kevin loves most. His parents are concerned until it’s clear that Pure Evil means the Time Bandits.
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Pure Evil’s torture of the Time Bandits is interrupted when the Supreme Being makes a splashy entrance, crashing into the throne room pillars as a comet and emerging from a cloud of dust and smoke. He zaps lightning around while a chorus of electric guitars plays, making Pure Evil gag.
Showdown
Penelope apologizes for stealing the map. The Supreme Being strides in, grunting at her, and insults Pure Evil. He addresses Kevin, asking for the map. Kevin sighs and pulls the yellow lunch box out of his backpack. Looking at Pure Evil, Kevin demands he calls Fianna off. Pure Evil does so immediately. Fianna leaves after telling Widgit to call her.
Next, Kevin tells Pure Evil to release his parents and send them back to their own time. His parents protest that they’re quite happy where they are. Saffron gives them a dressing down for being ungrateful for all Kevin’s done to rescue them. Shocked at her scolding, they settle down. Kevin repeats his demand. Pure Evil’s fine with that since he only kidnapped them to lure Kevin to the fortress.
Mission Accomplished
Mike reminds Pure Evil that he still has to set up his printer. Pure Evil considers that a moment but decides the map is more important. He sends the parents back and, when Saffron demands proof, shows them Mike and Lisa sitting on the couch watching TV while scrolling their phones, talking about a weird dream they had.
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The Supreme Being interjects and tries to cajole Kevin into giving him the map. Kevin tells him that resetting the universe isn’t a good idea. The Supreme Being argues that he’s always right, so Kevin shouldn’t think about it. Kevin stands firm.
Penelope speaks up, telling Kevin not to listen to the Supreme Being because the Supreme Being has to control everything and micromanage all creation. She tells the Supreme Being that creation should be messy and uncontrollable. It might start out as one thing but then it becomes something else. The Supreme Being tells her she’s wrong and the world is imperfect, which is why he intends to fix it.
An Actual Win
Pure Evil promises to keep human history if Kevin gives him the map. Of course, he’ll make it miserable but at least it’ll still be there. Kevin is conflicted. He holds the yellow lunch box and looks at Saffron and the bandits. He makes his decision and hands the lunch box to Pure Evil.
Pure Evil crows and celebrates by setting off fireworks. The Supreme Being refuses to accept defeat and tries to take the map by shooting lightning at Pure Evil. It doesn’t work but they begin fighting with their powers. Penelope tells everyone else it’s time to go, and they run out of the fortress.
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Out on the frozen landscape again, Penelope asks Kevin why he chose to give the map to Pure Evil. Kevin asks her if that’s what he actually did. Flashback to when the bandits were debating the feasibility of their fantasy futures all co-existing. While everyone is distracted, Kevin and Saffron take their backpacks off and switch lunch boxes. Inside the fortress, the Supreme Being has left and Pure Evil opens the lunchbox and finds Saffron’s art.
The Greatest Thieves
The bandits congratulate Kevin and Saffron on fooling Pure Evil and preventing the Supreme Being from enacting the Great Reset. Kevin hands the other lunch kit to Widgit, and the bandits begin planning what they can do with the map now.
Widgit opens the lunch kit and pulls out a large folded and torn piece of paper that is definitely not the map. Everyone panics. In the distance, The Cherub and his conspirators scurry off with the map.
Time Bandits Season 1 is streaming now on Apple TV+.
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