DISCLAIMER: This recap of The Umbrella Academy Season 4 Episode 4, “The Cleanse,” contains spoilers. Proceed at your peril.
The Cleanse is imminent, folks. Well, unless our eponymous crew can save the day (again). Ben and Jen (not that Ben and Jen) are extremely attracted to each other, and that connection spells doom for humanity. Meanwhile, Klaus goes on an unnecessary side quest, and Diego and Lila are on the outs, which I loathe. These two are so good together. Why ruin it? And circling back to Klaus being alone, this show is at its best when the Hargreeves family is together. I hope he rejoins the main narrative in the final two episodes.
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The Umbrella Academy, “The Cleanse”
We open with a flashback to October 14, 2006 — Ben’s death day in the original timeline. The Hargreeves siblings, who are teenagers, assemble in the sitting room of The Umbrella Academy (sans Viktor, who didn’t have powers at this point). Reginald (Colm Feore) preps them on a new mission. A Moldovan arms dealer has acquired a deadly new weapon. Our titular heroes must locate the weapon in a nearby storage facility and destroy it before a deal is struck. Oh, and don’t open the container.
Then, Pogo (Adam Godley) flies the team to the storage facility. Aw, I’ve missed him. Inside the facility, Ben installs a device to blow up the weapon. However, he finds Jennifer inside. As it turns out, Jennifer is the “deadly new weapon.” Ben moves to pull her out. The skin-to-skin contact emits a reddish-yellow glow when they touch hands, like from the marigold. After Ben frees Jennifer, Reginald shoots both teens in the head. The Hargreeves siblings stand there in shock after their father kills their brother. Reggie warned them not to open the container.
The Truth Comes Out
Next, in the present (and alternate) timeline, Viktor (Elliot Page), Luther (Tom Hopper), Diego (David Castañeda) and Allison (Emmy Raver-Lampman) emerge from the memory machine in a rage. They turn on Reggie, rightfully accosting him for what happened to Ben. They explain what they saw to Lila (Ritu Arya) and Five (Aidan Gallagher). Reggie insists he had nothing to do with Ben and Jennifer’s murders; that was his original timeline counterpart. Abigail (Liisa Repo-Martell) rushes to defend her husband.
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After that, Abigail explains that it’s her fault. She synthesized a new element, the essence of the universe—marigold. However, a second particle was created from that. Reggie calls it “durango.” When marigold and durango interact, it causes a volatile, explosive reaction that spells the extinction of everything. That’s why Reggie kept Jennifer from the Hargreeves. He hoped to avoid the apocalypse.
Unfortunately, Ben (Justin H. Min) and Jennifer (Victoria Sawal) are together. So, it’s only a matter of time before they touch. Speaking of these two lovebirds, we see them walking through the woods after Ben helped Jennifer escape the Thibedeau farmhouse. Jennifer believes they should part ways. Why? Ben has killed several people since they met 36 hours ago.
Murder for Love
Ben claims he only murdered those people to save her. He declares that they’re inexplicably connected. They should find a place to rest and talk this out. Figure out what this connection might be. Meanwhile, Luther stress eats pastries while explaining that he let Ben leave to find Jennifer. Reggie grabs his gun. It’s hunting season, after all. This culminates in a confrontation between Reggie and Viktor, who glows with fiery rage. He’s ready to annihilate Daddy Hargreeves with his immense powers.
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Viktor lets Reggie have it — he tells the latter what a sh*tty father he is. Abigail pulls Viktor off the ledge, persuading him to calm down. Elsewhere, Klaus (Robert Sheehan) begins the process of paying back Quinn (George Tchortov). Quinn is holding Klaus captive in the basement, having him run a business as a medium. He’ll connect customers to their dearly departed loved ones for a hefty fee.
Quinn introduces Loretta (Vinessa Antoine) to Klaus. Loretta wishes to commune with her late husband, Richard, aka Dick. Initially, Klaus prepares the space in the most theatrical way possible, aiming to fake the session for cash. However, the spirit of Dick (Al Sapienza) genuinely appears. Klaus has still got it. And guess what? Loretta and Dick want to jump each other’s bones one last time.
The ATM Is in the Lobby
Klaus admits that the fleshy stuff is tricky. However, Quinn told Loretta that Klaus can provide this service. Of course, this puts Klaus in a bind. Once again, he can’t truly give consent. Klaus pauses before adding that this service is 500 dollars, and the ATM is in the lobby. Later, Dick’s spirit enters Klaus’s body, and he and Loretta have sex.
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Later, the Hargreeves siblings head to the Thibedeau farmhouse, where the CIA investigates the series of grisly murders outside (courtesy of Ben). Lila finds an arm with the inverted Umbrella tattoo (to represent “The Umbrella Effect”), so they know the Thibedeaus were here. Lila pulls Five aside and proposes they hop on the latter’s time choo-choo, go back to the original timeline and stop the impending apocalypse. They’d have to return to the original “Jennifer Incident” and prevent Ben from interacting with her. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
Five reluctantly agrees to this idea. Diego wanders over, asking to speak with Lila alone. Diego addresses her remark about them taking a break. He wonders if she loves him anymore. Lila clearly does, but she needs a break from him. Diego complains about his job day in and day out, and she’s tired of it. “If you’re not in it, then what’s the point?” she asks.
Texas Tentacled Massacre
Next, Five asks his boss to give Diego and Luther a tour of the CIA headquarters. His boss wants Five to solve the case of the “Texas Tentacled Massacre.” So, in exchange for Five’s absolute focus, he’d like his boss to keep an eye on his brothers. The CIA boss reluctantly agrees to these terms.
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Meanwhile, at Reg King, this universe’s answer to Burger King, Jean (Megan Mullally) and Gene (Nick Offerman) pull into the drive-thru. Jean recites a passcode to the drive-thru employee. After asking Jean to drive to the next window, the employee asks Jean a peculiar question, which she answers with a riddle-like response. Then, the Reg King gives its customers the boot, transforming into the Keepers’ headquarters.
Then, Allison calls Claire (Millie Davis) to ask about Klaus. When she arrives home, Claire encourages her to “look at her side of the street.” If Klaus is so sick, why does Allison keep letting him back into her life? It’s time for Allison to take care of herself.
Speaking of Klaus, our new medium informs Quinn that he made quite a bit of money from his first customer. Klaus should be able to pay Quinn back in no time. Quinn takes the cash and counts, allotting specific portions to rent, food, etc. Klaus doesn’t get back a dime.
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Denny Muntz
Later, Sy Grossman (David Cross) introduces himself to Jean and Gene as Denny Muntz from the Red Deer chapter. He wants their help. Denny claims he wants to discuss Jennifer, who the Thibedeaus are currently trying to track. Meanwhile, Ben and Jennifer find a motel in which to stay. They sit in separate, neighboring rooms. They talk to each other through the wall. Ben admits he has intense feelings for Jennifer. He’s never felt this way about anyone. Jennifer confesses the feeling is mutual.
Jennifer tells him about being pulled out of a squid in 1995. Ben feels it must be fate — he has tentacles for powers. Ben takes this as a sign that they’re meant to be together. Ah, the yearning.
Elsewhere, Lila and Five arrive at the timeline-hopping subway station. They plan to take the train to the original apocalyptic timeline and then warp back to 2006 to curb the Jennifer Incident. Lila finds a map before a train pulls into the station.
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Where’s the Money?
After this, we see Loretta return to Klaus for round two. Klaus tries to call upon Dick, whose spirit leaps into Klaus’s body again. Loretta isn’t as friendly this time. She asks Dick about the money. Where is it? Loretta grabs the family jewels and squeezes. After Dick departs, Klaus sees a vision of where Dick’s fortune lies. Loretta doesn’t know this yet and claims she isn’t paying for this session.
Klaus states he’ll tell her where Dick’s money is hidden if she promises to help him escape. Loretta agrees to this. Klaus orders her to give him her brooch first. She doesn’t, but when Quinn pounds on the door, Klaus discloses that the fortune is stashed in the First National Bank of Zurich. The password is “Thunderbolt.” Loretta hands over the brooch.
Something Isn’t Right
Next, Luther and Diego arrive at the CIA headquarters in their finest suits. Diego has a pep in his step again. In the original timeline, Five and Lila wade through the apocalyptic wasteland. Five spots Delores. They blink to October 14, 2006, before the other Five arrives to fire on them. Five verifies they have landed on the correct date.
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However, something is amiss. Lila and Five spot members of the Umbrella Academy and the Sparrow Academy marching forward together for the mission. They learn they’re in the Phoenix Academy. So, this isn’t the right timeline. Five and Lila teleport to the subway station. Lila consults the map as another train arrives. They hop onto it.
An Escape and a Burial
Meanwhile, Klaus utilizes Loretta’s brooch to escape his prison. He makes a beeline for the cemetery. Klaus digs up the grave of Dick’s beloved dog, Thunderbolt. There, he finds a bag filled with cash. Jackpot! Unfortunately, Loretta and her crew arrive, guns raised. Loretta knew Klaus was lying, so she watched him flee the Mothers of Agony and tailed him. Klaus tries to negotiate a finder’s fee for him, but she wants all the money.
Before she can shoot Klaus, though, Quinn enters the scene. Klaus ducks into the open grave as a shootout commences. He emerges in the aftermath to find everyone dead. Well … except Quinn. Quinn grabs him and takes the money. This will cover Klaus’s debt.
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Quinn punches Klaus, who falls into the empty wooden coffin. The door inadvertently closes, locking him inside. Quinn proceeds to bury Klaus alive. If I had a nickel for every time a Robert Sheehan character was buried alive, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice. Save me, Barry!
Marigold and Durango
Viktor and Reggie have dinner together. Viktor shares his plan — he can remove Ben’s marigold. He’s done it before. Reggie assumes this doesn’t come without risks. He wonders why Viktor would want to help his siblings. They all seem to hate one another. Viktor admits they quarrel a lot, but they’ll do anything for each other when the chips are down.
Then, Jennifer barges into Ben’s room and starts kissing him. The hot and heavy makeout sesh turns into sex. Naturally, Ben’s marigold and Jennifer’s durango collide, creating an Earth-shattering, explosive reaction. The front desk employee projectile vomits black liquid. He falls back into his seat, his eyes two black pits. The black liquid oozes from his eyes and mouth. He’s dead.
The Umbrella Academy Seasons 1-4 are now streaming on Netflix.
Geek Girl Authority Crush of the Week: ALLISON HARGREEVES
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What I do: I'm GGA's Managing Editor, a Senior Contributor, and Press Coordinator. I manage, contribute, and coordinate. Sometimes all at once. Joking aside, I oversee day-to-day operations for GGA, write, edit, and assess interview opportunities/press events.
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