It’s a summertime miracle — The Righteous Gemstones continues to bless us with a stellar third season. Season 3 Episode 4, “I Have Not Come To Bring Peace, But a Sword,” sets the stage for the next batch of episodes, particularly with that double-crossing cliffhanger. Montgomery boys, how could you? “Trust” is the thematic crux of this outing, and we see trust manipulated and tarnished in myriad ways. There’s Judy’s betrayal of BJ’s trust when he discovers she cheated on him with BJ.
Additionally, there’s Pontius’ betrayal of his parents’ trust when he has sex with his girlfriend in plain view of potential onlookers. Keefe certainly feels the sting of trust when it’s yanked away after Kelvin reveals he’s being transferred to another department in the church. In short, nothing ends well for the Gemstone trio.
“I Have Not Come To Bring Peace, But a Sword” reminds us of how adept the writers are at methodically planting narrative seeds to bloom in future episodes. We see the payoff of Judy’s storyline and will undoubtedly watch the other arcs play out soon. It’s bitingly hilarious and larger-than-life while maintaining a steady pace. Plus, who can say “no” to some good ole-fashioned storytelling conflict?
In honor of our fave obscenely wealthy family, here are my favorite quotes from episode four.
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KELVIN: “Did you explain that you bought all this stuff on church business?”
KEEFE: “I tried, but I just couldn’t seem to articulate how buying bunches of sex toys was in the best interest of the church.”
Oh, Kelvin (Adam DeVine) and Keefe (Tony Cavalero). They genuinely want to do right by the church’s youth, even if their efforts don’t read that way to outsiders. Nothing is funnier than two devout but closeted evangelists buying all the sex toys in local “porno” shops so that nobody can engage in debauchery. And when you involve the teens in all the sex shop plundering? Double the fun.
Of course, as Keefe says, expressing to the parents that it was on church business makes their work sound, well, ridiculous.
KELVIN: “Speak of this no more. This kind of talk makes my a-hole burn.”
KEEFE: “I hate to think I’m responsible for your a-hole burning, brother.”
Keefe doesn’t want the burden of distressing Kelvin’s butthole. However … that’s all I’ll say there. We shall speak of this no more. (I hope we get a Kelvin/Keefe kiss soon.)
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BJ: “Do you like my painting?”
JUDY: “Whoa. Is that your caca?”
BJ: “He’s my childhood pet, Rags.”
JUDY: “Is Rags an explosive diarrhea that you named?”
Judy’s (Edi Patterson) the coolest of the cool. She knows about all the cool things. Well, except BJ’s (Tim Baltz) childhood dog, Rags. She never had the pleasure of making his acquaintance. As per usual, when Judy sees BJ’s painting of his pet, her mind goes to the dirtiest place it can possibly go. We love her for it.
BJ: “I don’t really enjoy poontang talk with other fellas. I know it’s seen as locker room chat, but I find it to be disrespectful.”
STEPHEN: “You’re a weak little f**, ain’t you?”
BJ: “No, I’m a straight cis male, but I don’t believe that queer people should be referenced that way, regardless.”
Stephen (Stephen Schneider) is on the naughty list, and not in a good way. Thankfully, when playing pickleball together, known LGBTQ+ ally Benjamin Jason “BJ” Barnes puts the kibosh on Stephen’s nasty talk. While the above quotes aren’t funny (especially Stephen throwing around that slur), they’re a reminder of BJ’s strong moral center and innate compassion for others. He’s too pure for the Gemstone family.
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JESSE: “Somebody gifting you their trust is a very, very powerful thing.”
It’s not often we get a nugget of wisdom from Jesse Gemstone (Danny McBride), so when it comes along, you cherish it. Sure, his monologue about the potency of trust to his son boasts a few humorous lines, but this particular quote stayed with me. The choice to say “gifting” is perfect. Trust is a gift. We should treat it as such. It’s a meaningful exchange of comfort and belief that can easily be broken.
What are your favorite quotes from “I Have Not Come To Bring Peace, But a Sword”? Sound off in the comments below!
The Righteous Gemstones airs new episodes every Sunday at 10 pm on HBO and Max.
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What I do: I'm GGA's Managing Editor, a Senior Contributor, and Press Coordinator. I manage, contribute, and coordinate. Sometimes all at once. Joking aside, I oversee day-to-day operations for GGA, write, edit, and assess interview opportunities/press events.
Who I am: Before moving to Los Angeles after studying theater in college, I was born and raised in Amish country, Ohio. No, I am not Amish, even if I sometimes sport a modest bonnet.
Bylines in: Tell-Tale TV, Culturess, Sideshow Collectibles, and inkMend on Medium.
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