Previously, on The Princess Bride… Buttercup made a startling discovery that the Man in Black is the Dread Pirate Roberts. As Prince Humperdinck closed in on the couple, heading into the Fire Swamp. Buttercup then made another shocking discovery. The Dread Pirate Roberts is actually Westley.

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THE FIRE SWAMP

Westley (Brandon Routh) and Princess Buttercup (Courtney Ford) make their way through the Fire Swamp. They hear popping and a burst of fire follows, catching Buttercup’s dress on fire. Westley can see she’s scared and distracts her with a story.

Westley was captured and begged for his life, just as he said. Roberts took mercy on him and said the boy could be his valet, with a promise to kill him in the morning. He said that for five years. SWITCH! The part of Westley is now being played by Ford, and Buttercup is played by Routh.

One night Roberts took Westley aside and told him a secret. The pirate was not the real Roberts. His name was Ryan, and he’d inherited the ship from another who was not the real Roberts. The real Roberts retired 15 years ago. Ryan was ready to retire as well and chose to give Westley the title. He said it was the name that’s important for inspiring fear. No one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley. Once they got ashore, he took on a new crew, Ryan stayed on as the First Mate and called Westley “Roberts” the entire time. Once the crew believed it, Ryan left. Now that Westley is with Buttercup, he will pass on the name to someone new. 

Buttercup looks confused, so Westley asks her if she understands his story. She nods and walks directly into quicksand. Westley grabs a branch and jumps in after her. A Rodent of Unusual Size (Leo James Routh) crawls near the sand and hides. 

SURVIVING

Westley (Sophie Turner) and Buttercup (Joe Jonas) emerge from the pit. Westley holds onto Buttercup tightly. He sees the R.O.U.S. (Percy) nearby as Buttercup states they will never survive. Westley says that’s nonsense. What do they have to fear? He names the terrors of the Fire Swamp and why these are not scary. The flame spurt – no problem, there’s a popping noise before each one. The lightning sand – Buttercup was clever enough to find out what that looks like. Buttercup asks about the R.O.U.S.es. Westley says they don’t exist.

A R.O.U.S. jumps out at Westley, attacking him. Man fights beast, and beast bites man in the shoulder. Buttercup tries to fight off the R.O.U.S., but the R.O.U.S. turns on Buttercup. Westley grabs the R.O.U.S. and rolls with it into a flame spurt. He stabs the R.O.U.S. to put it out of its misery.

CAUGHT

Westley (Lucas Hedges) and Buttercup (Jenna Ortega) get out of the Fire Swamp, and Westley says, “Now, was that so terrible?” Horses (golf carts) roll up on the couple. Humperdinck (David Oyelowo) catches up with them. The Prince tells Westley to surrender, and Westley refuses. The two start bickering about why he should surrender and Buttercup interrupts them. Buttercup says she will go with Humperdinck if he promises to return Westley to his ship. Humperdinck promises and then turns to Count Rugan (B. J. Novak) with instructions to throw Westley into the Pit of Despair.

Buttercup thought Westley died once, and it almost destroyed her. She couldn’t bear it if he died again, not when she can save him. Humperdinck takes Buttercup and rides away. Rugan tells Westley that it’s time to get to his ship. Westley knows he’s lying, and Rugen doesn’t deny it. Westley notices that Rugen has six fingers on his right hand. He says someone is looking for him, and Rugen knocks him out. 

The Princess Bride, a home movie edition, airs weekdays on Quibi.

 

 

Noetta Harjo
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