Previously on The Princess Bride home movie – Vizzini left Inigo to kill the Man in Black. The two met on the Cliffs of Insanity, but held a conversation about Inigo’s search for the six-fingered man before dueling.
BATTLE OF WITS
Inigo (Finn Wolfhard) and The Man in Black (Kaitlyn Dever) begin their sword battle. It’s not long before they start chatting about each other’s fighting technique. Then they start complimenting each other, switching from left-handed to right-handed fighting and come to the conclusion that both are amazing. Inigo asks who the Man in Black is, but he refuses to give his name. The duel ends with the Man in Black disarming Inigo. Inigo falls to his knees and asks for a quick death. The Man in Black respects Inigo and says he would sooner destroy a stained glass window than kill an artist like Inigo. But he can’t have him following him either so he hits Inigo on the head with his sword.
Vizzini (King Bach) cannot believe that Inigo failed to kill the Man in Black. He takes Buttercup (random girl in a red dress) and tells Fezzik (Dave Bautista) to kill the Man in Black his way. What’s Fezzik’s way? Take a large rock and throw it at the man’s head. That’s not very sportsmanlike.
The Man in Black (David Spade) appears, and Fezzik purposely misses his head. He wants to fight the Man in Black using only their strength… you know, sportsmanlike. The Man in Black tries his hardest to hit Fezzik, but it’s like hitting a brick wall. They chat about masks, how quick the Man in Black is and why he gives Fezzik so much trouble. The Man in Black jumps on a rock and then on Fezzik’s back, choking him from behind until Fezzik passes out. The Man in Black wishes Fezzik a good rest with dreams of large women.
Prince Humperdinck (Tom Lennon) arrives on the Cliffs of Insanity. He sees the foot scuffle from Inigo’s duel with the Man in Black. Humperdinck describes the battle to Count Rugen (Oliver Lennon). He surmises that the loser ran away alone and the winner followed the footsteps toward Guilder. They will go that way, too, to save the Princess. Humperdinck thinks the whole thing is a setup by Guilder. He thinks everything is a trap, and that’s why he’s still alive.
The Man in Black (Jon Hamm) finds Vizzini (Patton Oswalt) with the Princess (Alice Oswalt). He has her tied up and blindfolded and he’s holding a knife to her neck. He threatens to kill her if the Man in Black gets any closer. The Man in Black tries to negotiate with Vizzini, but Vizzini says it’s an uneven match. The Man in Black challenges him to a battle of wits… to the death.
Vizzini accepts and pours some wine for them both. The Man in Black shows him a vial of iocane powder, an odorless, tasteless and deadly poison. The Man in Black takes the cups and puts the iocane powder in one. He tells Vizzini to choose a cup. Vizzini starts vocally rationalizing why he can’t choose the cup in front of him. Or the cup in front of the Man in Black. It takes him the longest two and a half minutes to explain his choice. He distracts the Man in Black by pointing to something behind him. The Man in Black turns to look and Vizzini switches the cups. He laughs and then says it’s time to drink.
The Man in Black says Vizzini chose wrong and Vizinni starts laughing. He admitted that he switched the cups and says the Man in Black fell for a classic blunder. There are two: never get involved in a land war in Asia, and never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line. Vizzini laughs hysterically until he dies. The Man in Black unties the Princess. She makes the observation that the whole time it was his cup that was poisoned. The Man in Black admits to poisoning both glasses. He’s built up an immunity to iocane powder over the years.
Prince Humperdinck continues his search for Princess Buttercup. He knows she was alive an hour ago and if she still is when he finds her, he will be very put out.
The Princess Bride, home movie edition, airs daily on Quibi.
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