DISCLAIMER: This recap of The Magicians episode “Marry Fuck Kill” contains more spoilers than the number of times Margo swears. It’s a form of motivation for our High King. You’ve been warned. Proceed with caution.
Welcome back, Fillorians! The Magicians returned this week with an episode chock full of plot twists. Margo and Josh partaking in the horizontal tango! Alice’s shocking revelation regarding Quentin! Discovering that our Eliot is essentially trapped inside his own mind! Oh, and rubbing your naked friend with oils as a means of detecting whether said friend is a deity is very intimate. Valentine’s Day is around the corner, after all…
Alright, ready to delve into “Marry Fuck Kill?” Just be sure to compliment Josh on his excellent condolence muffins. Nothing says “I’m sorry for your loss” like a boatload of carbs.
We open with Josh (Trevor Einhorn) and Penny (Arjun Gupta) observing Eliot Monster from afar (Hale Appleman). He’s intently studying the now hardened and blackened heart from Bacchus’ chest. Josh is baking condolence muffins for Quentin after the news of the latter’s father’s passing has made the rounds.
Next, Margo (Summer Bishil) approaches Eliot Monster. The latter claims he’s found nothing of value from Bacchus’ heart – nothing that “belongs” to him. Margo broaches the idea of Eliot Monster vacating her friend’s body and occupying a new, less human vessel. However, Eliot Monster isn’t quite “donezies” with his quest to kill every god known to humankind. He still needs to reclaim everything that was taken from him.
Later, Josh offers Margo a condolence muffin, which she scarfs down heartily. If you’ll recall, Josh was once the highly esteemed chef of Whitespire, so he knows a thing or two when it comes to the culinary arts. Josh notices something isn’t quite right. His pulse quickens, the room spins. He has this immensely overwhelming desire to jump Margo. Suddenly, Josh shifts into a werewolf. He knocks Margo aside. Thankfully, Josh wakes up with a start in the real world. It was all a dream! Well, at least at face value. Josh notices he’s covered in blood. A very much dead animal lies underneath his covers. The Quickening is in full swing, folks!
Meanwhile, Quentin (Jason Ralph) gives Julia (Stella Maeve) the full scoop regarding his trip back home. Unfortunately, he missed his father’s funeral, but will be present to sift through the former’s possessions. Julia’s new objective is to learn more about her unusual state. She’s indestructible but seemingly can’t perform magic. Is she still a goddess? Q teases her regarding Penny’s undeniable longing for her. Perhaps she’ll enlist him in her new mission.
Next, Penny catches Josh in a frenzied state as the latter tries to clean up the bloody mess in his room. Penny believes this is part of the infamous Quickening. He warns Josh to steer clear of Julia. Speaking of, Julia finds the boys chatting and dishes the details on her new quest. Josh suggests she ask Bacchus’ maenads for assistance. Penny volunteers to join Julia for the trip back to Fillory. He really does carry a torch for her.
Later, Josh meets with a Brakebills professor who’s also a werewolf. He previously had steamy relations with said professor, which is how the lupine curse was passed to Josh. She gives him advice regarding the Quickening, which is this: don’t deny the primal urges. He will either need to bone or kill someone. There’s no medium ground. Should he repress these urges, Josh will rip his own innards out. So – kill and/or bone or commit suicide? I’ll take the former for 500, Alex. Thankfully, the Quickening only occurs once every 30 years, so Josh simply needs to endure this session for now.
Meanwhile, we see Alice (Olivia Taylor Dudley) is still in the Library. If you’ll recall, she was carted off by a mysterious captor in the previous episode. As it turns out, said captor is the one and only Christopher Plover (Charles Shaughnessy). Alice is not happy to see the disgraced author. He reveals that he’s terribly sorry for his actions. Plover needs assistance in casting a tricky spell. He possesses a World Book, which details every known world/realm in existence. Plover hopes to utilize the spell to decide which realm will be his forever home. He cites that this is the best way to ensure that he won’t hurt anyone again. In exchange, he vows to help Alice steal her and her friends’ books from the Revision Room. Alice is reticent to trust Plover, naturally. He is responsible for Martin Chatwin morphing into the Beast, after all.
Then, Q returns home and reunites with his mother. She wonders aloud why nobody attended his father’s funeral. Did he not have friends? We see the tense relationship between Quentin and his mother rear its ugly head. She explains that she needs Q to sort through his father’s things by the following day. She leaves him to it. Quentin is standing in a room rife with model airplanes all belonging to Mr. Coldwater.
Next, Josh is at a loss regarding his next move. The options are have coitus and risk spreading the werewolf curse to an innocent person or go on a murder spree. Neither option is appealing to Josh. Margo vows to help Josh beat this. Everyone should be like Margo. She reveals she found a spell that should help sate Josh’s werewolf urges. They just need the heart of a Komodo dragon. As it turns out, Kanye West possesses one in his lavish New York apartment. Time to meet Yeezy via slaying his dragon! That’ll be a fun story for the grandchildren. Josh realizes that he had intercourse with someone while under Fogg’s identity spell. Well, he was Isaac, but still. He storms out to locate potentially lupine woman.
Later, Josh meets Enid (Kasha Kropinski), the woman he inadvertently had sex with as Isaac. Of course, he claims he’s visiting her courtesy of Isaac, as the latter has laryngitis and lost all of his fingers. Josh explains that Isaac had a rare condition that he potentially passed on to Enid. Enid initially believes it to be herpes, but Josh runs down the list of Quickening symptoms. Enid breaks down and admits to experiencing everything on Josh’s checklist. She tearfully leads Josh to her room, where the bloody remains of a human lie within. Josh feels remorseful for turning Enid into a werewolf, naturally.
Meanwhile, Julia and Penny travel to Bacchus’ party headquarters in Fillory. They find one of his maenads, Shoshana (Jolene Purdy), is about to hang herself. Bacchus is dead, so her life is now devoid of purpose. Julia and Penny convince her to refrain from committing suicide. Our Jules explains she’s a former goddess who previously gave up her powers. Yet, she now can’t be killed. What gives? Shoshana reads her aura and informs her of a ritual that can supply Julia with the answer she craves. However, it’s rather intimate and only someone who wholeheartedly believes in Julia can perform it. Penny volunteers. This should be interesting…
Next, we see Alice and Plover are lingering outside the Revision Room. Alice reveals she can sneak into the room undetected via the bending of light. Plover also knows of a spell that can essentially continue writing our magicians’ books even if they’re physically missing from the Revision Room. It’s a foolproof plan. After this, Alice vows to assist Plover with his world finding spell. Teamwork makes the dream work, you guys.
Then, Q is hard at work collecting his father’s possessions. Eliot Monster drops by to see how his best buddy is doing. He ponders why Quentin isn’t on a murder spree. That’s the best way to deal with death – create more death. Q explains that humans are different. They grieve on a smaller, less murder-y scale. Eliot Monster vows to sit quietly and allow Quentin time to perform the task set before him. Good monster!
Meanwhile, Penny and Julia are standing inside the coziest of tents. Julia strips down and Penny proceeds to streak her body with oil. Penny initially hesitated, but Julia reminded him that it’s nothing he hadn’t seen before in his own timeline. Good point. He even asked for permission to rub oil on her breasts. How thoughtful!
Later, Margo and Josh cast the spell that requires the heart of a dragon. Josh takes a bite out of said heart, and is pleasantly surprised that it doesn’t taste like sewage. However, the spell doesn’t work as planned. At least they got to meet Kanye, albeit in a strange and unsettling way. You know, because they stole and killed his Komodo dragon. Suddenly, while driving, Josh is overcome with the urge to jump Margo. Margo pulls over and Josh scampers into the woods, howling like a wolf. Margo sits poised at the ready with a gun containing silver bullets. Thankfully, Josh returns, sated for the time being. He turned a tree into a werewolf, which is probably not the strangest thing he’s ever done. Josh urges Margo to take him to Brakebills for a last ditch effort in surviving the Quickening.
Next, Quentin is still hard at work packing up his father’s items. Eliot Monster decides to have a bit of fun, and smashes one of the model airplanes against the door. He cites that it now belongs to Q, and the latter can do whatever he wants with the airplanes. Quentin and Eliot Monster commence throwing every model airplane they can find against the door. The act serves as catharsis for Quentin, and he actually enjoys doing it. Smashing things is fun!
Meanwhile, Alice sneaks into the Revision Room, cloaked from prying eyes as she bends the light around her. She snatches up the desired books in question. After the theft, Plover urges Alice to aid him in his spell. He held up his end of the bargain. However, Alice is too distracted by an alarming passage in Quentin’s book. It claims he’ll die…next week. Uh oh.
Later, Julia and Penny approach Shoshana with the water used to wash Julia’s feet. Shoshana will be able to interpret from there exactly what Julia is. Suddenly, a burst of flame emanates from said water. Shoshana is taken aback, claiming this has never occurred before. She reveals that, while Julia may not be able to cast spells, she still possesses an immense amount of power. She is, in fact, a goddess. Shoshana no longer finds it useful to kill herself, as she has a new deity to serve: Julia Wicker. The Goddess of the Tree is back, baby!
Next, we see Josh has locked himself inside a cage in the underbelly of Brakebills. He hopes said cage will hold him until the Quickening passes, although this could result in his own death. Margo, unwilling to lose another friend, locks herself inside the cage with him. She suggests he has sex with her as a means of sating the beast within. Margo is aware that she’ll be L-positive, but the next Quickening is in 30 years. Who lives that long anyway? The duo partakes in the horizontal tango.
Meanwhile, post-plane smashing, Eliot Monster reveals that the real Eliot is dead. He felt El’s spirit pass on not too long ago. Eliot Monster vows to give Quentin the space he needs to grieve prior to the pair going out to eat. Smashing inanimate objects can sure work up one’s appetite.
Later, Margo and Josh revel in a post-coitus collective glow. Josh asks whether they’re an item now, or if things will remain casual. Well, considering Margo did save his life, it might be the former. I dig this pairing. I’m on Team Margosh (my ship name for them). We see Margo tear up at the thought of not being able to save Eliot. My heart breaks for her.
Next, Q and Eliot Monster are stuffing their faces at a diner. Well, Eliot Monster is. Quentin is too shell shocked by the news of his friend’s passing to eat. Suddenly, while Eliot Monster is talking, we see that the real Eliot is still alive inside his own mind! Our Eliot is standing on a vacant Brakebills campus, calling out for his friends. However, no one responds. He’s alone.
The Magicians is adept at reinventing itself, sometimes within an episode. “Marry Fuck Kill” was rife with twists and turns, really serving as a catalyst for the remainder of the season. However, I had a feeling the real Eliot was still alive. He had to be, as far as I’m concerned. Bishil continues to be a standout among her peers. She really is in a league of her own. Margo’s newly minted relationship with Josh feels organic, and the two have an interesting dynamic together. I’m curious to see how they develop.
Do you think our gang will be able to kill the Monster and free Eliot? How will Alice save Quentin from inevitable death? Will Julia amass more followers? Join me next week as I recap The Magicians, here on Geek Girl Authority.
The Magicians airs Wednesdays at 9pm on your SyFy affiliate.