DISCLAIMER: This recap of The Good Place episode “The Funeral to End All Funerals” contains more spoilers than the number of insults Bad Janet hurls at humans on any given day. She is bad, after all. You’ve been warned. Proceed with caution.
Welcome back, Soul Squad! The Good Place returned this week, and the stakes are higher than ever. The fate of humanity rested on the shoulders of the Judge who, as per usual, was a standout thanks to Maya Rudolph. Michael presented his pro-human case with foolproof evidence. The Judge eventually ruled in favor of altering the points system, citing that Eleanor and Michael have proven that humans are capable of moral progress. However, she also decided that Earth is cancelled, and the only way to remedy the situation is to annihilate the human race. Start from scratch. Well, that escalated quickly. At least now the Judge will finally get that Ally McBeal reboot she’s been pining for?
Alright, ready to delve into “The Funeral to End All Funerals?” Just be sure to graffiti a Red Lobster in a departed loved one’s honor. According to Jason, it’s apropos to the Floridian grief cycle. Oh, Florida.
We open with our Soul Squad arriving in the Medium Place to hear the Judge’s final ruling on the fate of humanity. Eleanor (Kristen Bell) learns that only supernatural entities are granted access to the Judge’s chamber. Naturally, she’s irate, but Michael (Ted Danson) hands her a bottle of tequila to alleviate her anger. Problem solved!
Next, we see Eleanor, Tahani (Jameela Jamil), Jason (Manny Jacinto) and Janet (D’Arcy Carden) strolling through the neighborhood for potentially the last time. They get on the subject of their funerals, and Janet reveals that she knows of what transpired at said funerals. Tahani is struck with an idea – they could all throw each other the “funeral to end all funerals.” Celebrate each other prior to disbanding. In case their experiment fails.
Meanwhile, Michael reunites with Shawn (Marc Evan Jackson) in the Judge’s chamber, alongside Bad Janet and the Good Place committee. Insults are hurled. Rebuttals are spewed. “Your mom” jokes are brought into the fold. Shawn is certainly not above those.
Then, we see our crew aboard a private jet in elegant attire. Tahani is pretending to be dead while the other three express their feelings toward her. Eleanor, Jason and Janet say lovely things regarding our favorite Sexy Giraffe. Tahani is pleased as punch. Next!
Next, the Judge (Maya Rudolph) makes her entrance. She kicks things off with a petition to revive Ally McBeal, but nobody is willing to sign it. Tough crowd. Anyway, we see Chidi, Simone, John and Brent’s photos materialize along with their final points from the experiment. Everyone evolved into better humans…except Brent. Uh oh.
Meanwhile, our crew is poolside for Jason’s fake funeral. Jason impresses them with a headstand and dons some sick duds for the service. Janet, of course, delivers the best eulogy out of the three. Janet and Jason are the cutest.
Now, we see Michael presenting his argument for why humanity deserves the chance to progress. The chance to ascend to the Good Place after death. The Judge isn’t convinced that three humans’ transformations are enough to alter a points system that’s existed since the dawn of time. Especially since Brent actually got worse. Michael mentions our Soul Squad and their respective moral progression. That’s six humans right there. Michael also brings up Eleanor’s mom and stepsister as well as Jason’s friend Pillboi and Tahani’s sister Kamilah. He reveals that the Soul Squad helped the aforementioned evolve into better people. The Judge leaves to mull over the evidence.
Next, the Soul Squad throws a fake funeral for Eleanor. She’s sporting a “Dead AF” tank top and cradling a bottle of margarita mix. If that’s not Eleanor Shellstrop in a nutshell, I don’t know what is. Then, the gang decides to give Chidi (William Jackson Harper) a funeral of his own. He’s currently still frozen from the previous episode and giving off Weekend at Bernie’s vibes. They retreat to Chidi’s library. Eleanor attempts to deliver a eulogy, but finds herself at a loss for words. Suddenly, a portal appears and our crew is summoned to the Judge’s chambers for her final decision.
Later, the Judge rules in Michael’s favor, citing that the points system truly is unjust and in need of revising. Everyone celebrates their victory. That is, until the Judge reveals that she plans to annihilate humanity and start from scratch. Earth is too forked up to continue on as it is anyway. They won, and yet humanity is still getting screwed. Shawn is elated, of course.
Now, our crew embraces each other while the Judge rummages for her “annihilate humanity” button in her purse. She locates it, presses said button and…it disappears. Janet stands up to the Judge and reveals that she sent the button into her void. Go Janet, go!
Next, the Judge searches Janet’s void for the destructive button but comes up short. Suddenly, Bad Janet emerges from a portal and explains that she concealed it in her void. She also confesses that she read Michael’s manifesto and is completely, 100% Team Good Guys. Yay!
Then, we see a horde of Good Janets, Bad Janets and Neutral Janets arriving via portal into the Judge’s chambers. Bad Janet reveals that all of them are on Team Good Guys now, and united against the Judge. The Judge vows to search every Janet’s void for her button, and if she can’t find it she’ll marbleize them all.
Now, Eleanor urges Michael to revive Chidi and give him back his lost memories. She wholeheartedly believes that if anyone can save humanity from the brink of extinction it’s Chidi Anagonye. Initially, Michael is reticent, but he soon warms up to the idea. The Judge marbleizes one Janet in her ruthless search for her destructive button. The clock is ticking. It’s time to wake up our favorite indecisive ethics professor, y’all.
Now, I expect Chidi to go into panic mode once he learns of his task. The Soul Squad is putting the fate of the world in the hands of the most indecisive human in existence. One who frequently experiences stomach aches due to overwhelming anxiety. However, I have no doubt that Chidi will save the day. My little chili baby is all grown up!
Do you think Chidi will pull through? Will the Judge locate her “destroy humanity” button before our crew saves the day? Did Eleanor consume that whole bottle of tequila? Join me next week as I recap The Good Place, here on Geek Girl Authority.
The Good Place airs Thursdays at 9pm on your NBC affiliate.