The Franchise, a cheeky series that satirizes the inner workings of studio franchises (ahem, Marvel), is here to fill that gaping comedy hole in our hearts. “Scene 31A: Tecto Meets Eye” is a fun opener for the show. Sure, taking aim at superhero fatigue and studio greed is nothing new, but The Franchise makes for an easy, hilarious watch. It’s just silly and wacky. I’m also getting vague 30 Rock vibes, which is always a plus.
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The Franchise, “Scene 31A: Tecto Meets Eye”
We open with Dag (Lolly Adefope), the new 3rd AD on Tecto: Eye of the Storm, Maximum Studios’ latest not tentpole flick (that honor goes to Centurios 2). Dag arrives on the studio lot in the UK, entering through Stage B to a crew frantically setting up the scene for the day — Scene 31A: Tecto Meets Eye.
She introduces herself to Daniel (Himesh Patel), the harried 1st AD who’s trying his best to rally the cast and crew. For starters, there are the Moss Men and the Fish People, who are present in the scene where Tecto, the film’s hero, meets Eye, the villain. Adam (Billy Magnussen), who plays Tecto, urges Daniel to taste his turkey meat muscle milkshake. It’s Thanksgiving in your mouth (and on steroids). Daniel receives a call from his mom, which he promptly ends. Then, he asks Dag to sniff Gary, who operates the boom mic, to discern whether he’s drunk or high or both.
Lights, Camera, Anxiety
After this, Peter (Richard E. Grant), who plays Eye, attempts to tell Daniel and Dag an unsavory “joke” at the expense of the trans community. Fortunately, he doesn’t get to the punchline because Dag pulls Daniel away. Daniel orders Dag not to let Peter finish said joke. Next, Daniel asks Dag about the lighting situation before announcing to the crew that the studio is on fire. Thankfully, it’s not; only some nearby houses are ablaze. Let the show go on, then.
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Steph (Jessica Hynes), the screenwriter for Tecto: Eye of the Storm, informs Daniel that Eric (Daniel Brühl), the director, is whiter than normal. He’s concerned they won’t tackle his big waterfall scene, which requires 16 setups. Daniel reassures Eric that it’s a priority for the shoot. Once Eric and Steph are out of earshot, though, Daniel tells Dag there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell they’ll get to that scene.
Bryson (Isaac Powell), the assistant to the Big Boss Shane (the Kevin Feige of this fictional universe), informs Daniel that Shane is online and might have notes. Daniel barrels past Bryson, though, because who has time to brace oneself for unnecessary studio interference? Then, Daniel soothes one of the Fish People, who seems to be panicking because of all the prosthetics/makeup he’s wearing. Patel plays a great straight man to the zany characters on The Franchise.
Anxious Panther
Finally, Daniel announces to the crew that they’re ready to rehearse Tecto meeting Eye. He tells Dag they only have 83 more days left of the shoot. Let’s make ’em count (or at least coast through them on a wave of poorly concealed anxiety). After this, Eric talks through the scene with Adam and Peter as they prepare to rehearse. It’s the meeting of the Elders — Tecto and Eye. The sun has set, and behind our duo roars a thunderous waterfall.
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Adam asks to see what the waterfall will look like. As they watch the previews, Eric remarks on digital Adam’s “swagger.” It’s like an anxious panther on his way to a job interview. If that’s not a highly specific walking style, I don’t know what is. Steph, Daniel and Dag realize that Pat Shannon, the studio bigwig who works under Shane, will visit the set that day. Daniel, who’s 100 percent not panicking (so don’t ask him if he’s panicking), leaves a voicemail for Justin, their producer.
Later, Daniel, Dag and Steph return to Eric’s trailer to disclose Pat’s impending arrival. The last thing Eric wants is to kowtow to the studio’s lack of vision. He’s the visionary. He won’t be spanked to appease the left-brained. Maximum’s one major note is the lack of light. The scenes need to be brighter. Eric devises a solution that serves the narrative—two suns. It’s giving Tatooine. Eric demands that Justin is there to fight in his corner.
Past the Baby’s Coffin
Next, Daniel urges Dag to ensure Pat never ventures onto Stage P. Why? Because there are 60 live Yoshino cherry trees imported from Kyoto. They’ve since cut the scene requiring said trees. After this, our crew is seconds from filming the scene. Adam and Peter do their requisite vocal warmups. My favorite is Peter’s line: “The genocidal jockey tip-toed gently past the baby’s coffin.” Richard E. Grant, you are a treasure.
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Peter stops not even a minute into the scene to question why Adam is shouting. Adam reveals he adjusted the volume of his voice to account for the roaring waterfall that’ll get added in post. Eric asks if they can incorporate footage from the waterfall in Fiji as background noise; however, Daniel claims that Milo said “No,” so it’s a, you guessed it, no. So, the crew shouts, “Waterfall!” to give Adam a sense of how loud said waterfall will be.
Eric asks Peter to meet Adam halfway regarding volume, but the former has developed polyps from TMT—Too Much Theater. That’s what happens when you’re a critically lauded theater actor … now playing a villain in a superhero franchise for that cheddar. Then, Pat (Darren Goldstein) arrives. Before he approaches Eric, Steph encourages the latter to get all the expletives out now (to avoid hurling one at Pat). However, Eric changes his tune when Pat asks for a photo with him. His son is a huge fan.
RIP, Fish People
After this, they switch on the extra lights to represent the two suns for the scene. Needless to say, you can’t see a damn thing. Eric and Pat wind up at craft services, admiring the cheese spread, when Pat states they must cut the Fish People out of Tecto. The plan is to kill them off in the preceding film. Remember, in the Maximum Cinematic Universe, it’s all connected. Eric vehemently objects to this. The Fish People tie in thematically with the story!
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Meanwhile, Daniel spots Anita (Aya Cash), who walks by the crafty tent. At the same time, Pat takes a swipe at nine-year-old TikTok kids with superhero fatigue. Then, Daniel orders Dag to escort Pat to the taco truck since they’re breaking for lunch. Make sure he steers clear of Stage P. While en route to said taco truck, Dag jokes about all the Maximum movie posters they pass while Pat is on the phone.
Next, Dag chats with Daniel in his office while he attempts to nap. He listens to a particularly scathing voicemail from his soon-to-be ex-wife. Anita pokes her head in, not recognizing Daniel with his face pillow on. After he removes it and reintroduces himself, it’s abundantly clear that these two have a history. Anita reveals she’s producing a hit TV series for Maximum. She hurries out after getting a call. Dag remarks on said history, which hangs between them. Daniel shoots her down, claiming this isn’t appropriate 3rd AD conversation.
Burned Eyeballs
Then, Daniel and Dag bolt out of the office upon learning that Peter burned his eyes. He can’t see. They inform Eric and Steph. But surely he can see from his third eye that’s part of his costume and not his head, right? (insert sarcasm here)
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Later, the gang piles into the medical facility, where Peter sits on a bed with an eye mask. His lawyer is beside him. It’s about to get litigious up in here. Adam barrels into the room with the same problem — he, too, has burned eyeballs from the intense light they used to represent two suns in that scene. I didn’t know it was possible to get sunburned on your eyeballs. Eric notes that Adam’s burns are significantly worse. Naturally, the two leads start bickering again. Hey, Peter’s eyes look like the tip of Ronald McDonald’s dick, so there’s that.
Dag whispers to Daniel that Pat’s wondering why they’re not shooting. Daniel comes in hot with a solution: they shoot the master and bring in Adam and Peter’s stand-ins. Meanwhile, Peter and Adam will take an ambulance to the hospital (which they’ll refuse to ride together).
As Above, So Below
Next, Pat and Daniel have a heart-to-heart while standing over the urinals. Pat admits he knows what Daniel thinks of him. And while there are those above the line and below the line, Pat is the line. He’s the one constant yet invisible force in this universe. He knows about the film’s overspending and Stage P. Pat also knows they’re 12 days over. He asks Daniel what else he needs to know.
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Thankfully, Justin (Alex Gaumond) arrives. He reassures Daniel that he’ll tell Pat to f*ck off. Unfortunately, Pat fires Justin. Eric, Daniel and Steph wonder what this means regarding their respective jobs if their producer is gone. After Justin leaves, Daniel notices Anita walking into the producers’ tent with Pat and Bryson. They lock eyes.
Then, the crew prepares to film the master with mo-cap actors in place of the now-deceased Fish People. At the end of the day, Dag trails Daniel to his car as she takes notes. She asks him why he sticks around when every day is like stepping into hell. Daniel tells her a story about a man who shovels sh*t in the circus. His brother gets him a secure, higher-paying job in an office. However, the man doesn’t want to quit show business. That’s how Daniel feels. It’s like a drug, in a way. He drives off, leaving Dag alone.
Well, he’ll see her again in 430 minutes. Those turnaround times are no joke.
The Franchise Favorite Lines
“Without our tentpole, we don’t have a tent. And without a tent, we get eaten in our sleep by nine-year-old TikTok kids with superhero fatigue. Which is not a real illness and a scam.” – Pat
“You want to play ‘Who’s Theater Cock Is Bigger?’ Because I’m packing an absolute rager!” – Peter
The Franchise drops new episodes every Sunday at 10 pm EST on HBO and Max.
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What I do: I'm GGA's Managing Editor, a Senior Contributor, and Press Coordinator. I manage, contribute, and coordinate. Sometimes all at once. Joking aside, I oversee day-to-day operations for GGA, write, edit, and assess interview opportunities/press events.
Who I am: Before moving to Los Angeles after studying theater in college, I was born and raised in Amish country, Ohio. No, I am not Amish, even if I sometimes sport a modest bonnet.
Bylines in: Tell-Tale TV, Culturess, Sideshow Collectibles, and inkMend on Medium.
Critic: Rotten Tomatoes, CherryPicks, and the Hollywood Creative Alliance.
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