Fillorians, I’m sure by now you’re aware of The Magicians ending next month. While the decision was announced quite late into Season 5, it’s not entirely out of left field. I had a sneaking suspicion that viewership was down exponentially after last season’s divisive finale. Not to mention, killing off the lead character proved troublesome for many fans. Of course, with any risk comes the possibility of disastrous consequences in its wake. The writers took a risk, that’s for sure. 

Now, without said risk The Magicians wouldn’t have ample opportunities to delve into the grief process. Quentin Coldwater was a leader that united our merry band of misfits. His death rippled through every character’s arc in a definitive manner. The show ensured Quentin’s sacrifice wasn’t swept under the rug, and for that I’m grateful. 

This show came at a time when I so desperately needed it. My depression/anxiety was at an all-time high. I wanted to go to therapy, but I was too frightened to take that first step. My wonderful Granny passed away, who was like a mother to me, and I was grieving. In addition, my self-esteem was waning. Well, more like in a constant state of flux. I had aspirations but, again, I was too scared of reaching for them. The Magicians swooped in and removed these skeletons from my closet. One by one. It helped me examine them and confront any demons I had. It encouraged me to love myself to the fullest extent possible. Slowly, I felt like the world made sense again. 

RELATED: THE MAGICIANS: A Love Letter to Quentin Coldwater

So, I want to thank The Magicians for helping me find my inner strength. For unlocking the lioness within me. Particularly, to Summer Bishil, who infused life into Margo Hanson. Margo’s story profoundly resonated with me. She taught me that we women are a tangled web of conflicted yet beautiful emotions. We can be vulnerable and resilient. We can be soft and solid as a rock. Thank you Olivia Taylor Dudley for bringing Alice Quinn to the small screen. She taught me to embrace my intellect. That my mind is a weapon worthy of wielding. In addition, she also helped me grieve the loss of my Granny. 

Trevor Einhorn, Arjun Gupta, Stella Maeve, Jade Tailor, Summer Bishil, and Olivia Taylor Dudley in The Magicians.

THE MAGICIANS — “Oops!… I did It Again” Episode 506 — Pictured: (l-r) Trevor Einhorn as Josh Hoberman, Arjun Gupta as Penny Adiyodi, Stella Maeve as Julia Wicker, Jade Tailor as Kady Orloff-Diaz, Summer Bishil as Margo Hanson, Olivia Taylor Dudley as Alice Quinn — (Photo by: Eric Milner/SYFY)

Next, thank you Hale Appleman for breathing life into Eliot Waugh. Eliot taught me that vulnerability is not a weakness. Masking it with humor as a defense mechanism isn’t healthy. He also taught me how to be comfortable in my own skin. Thank you Stella Maeve for injecting layers into Julia Wicker. She showed me what true courage looks like. Facing your monsters head on despite your fears. Her rape story line helped me deal with my own experience with assault. Thank you Arjun Gupta for making Penny Adiyodi one of my favorite TV characters. Now, that includes the original Penny 40 and Penny 23. Penny’s loyalty to his friends was inspiring. He also taught me the importance of blatant honesty, even if the truth hurts. 

Thank you to Jade Tailor for giving us a character that initially didn’t exist in Lev Grossman‘s book trilogy. Kady Orloff-Diaz was the personification of strength. She taught me how to be brave. In addition, she showed me that it’s okay to be angry. Angry women are commonplace, and we need to embrace those feelings of rage when we’re unsatisfied with the status quo. 

Lastly, but certainly not least, thank you Jason Ralph for being the perfect Quentin Coldwater. As someone who’s read the trilogy, I cannot imagine someone else portraying our Q. Quentin taught me to embrace my oddities. To let my freak flag fly. His struggles with mental health mirrored my own, and I felt a sense of comfort seeing said struggles conveyed on screen. Quentin’s staunch belief in magic made me realize that it truly does exist in our world. Maybe not in the strictest sense of the word, but a form of magic is there. We just need to open our eyes to it. 

RELATED: Read all THE MAGICIANS recaps here!

Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank Sera Gamble and John McNamara. Grossman for crafting such a beautiful story rife with an intricate mythology and relatable characters. The writing team for penning some of the best episodes in television history. Syfy for giving The Magicians a home for five wondrous seasons. I’ll carry the magic from this series with me for the rest of my life. 

 

This was originally published 3/16/20

 

 

 

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