Ted Lasso‘s latest outing is all about insecurity, obstacles and unusual character behavior. We also receive some fun Tedbecca hints, namely that green matchbook. We’ve got Keeley overcoming her private video leaking on the internet and Isaac learning that Colin’s gay (which will undoubtedly be explored in next week’s episode). Roy and Jack react poorly to Keeley’s situation. Jamie is the only one of Keeley’s partners to exceed expectations. His character arc truly is the best written in the series. It begs the question if the writers are trying to push Keeley and Jamie together for a full-circle moment as we near the endgame.
Ted’s fixation with Jacob potentially proposing to Michelle in Paris negatively affects his time with Henry. Thankfully, his friend soulmate Rebecca is there to screw his head on straight. Nate and Jade take their relationship to the next level, which is sweet. I’m all for the de-villainization of Nathan Shelley.
There are parallels between our characters, including Nate/Keeley and Nate/Ted. While “We’ll Never Have Paris” isn’t quite as funny as last week, and there are a few narrative stumbles and weaker writing (the locker room scene before the Isaac/Colin moment feels unnecessary), the outing is serviceable enough.
In honor of the show returning for a third and final (sobs) season, I’ve compiled a list of my favorite quotes from “We’ll Never Have Paris.” Peruse at your peril.
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ROY: Is this a game or child labor?
TRENT: In late-stage capitalism, what’s the difference?
Beard (Brendan Hunt), Roy (Brett Goldstein) and Trent (James Lance) watch Will (Charlie Hiscock) train Henry (Gus Turner) in the art of being a kitman. Naturally, Roy wonders if they’re teetering precariously on the edge of child labor. Trent, a man of great intellect, serves a heaping helping of truth with his response. Is there a difference between a game and child labor in late-stage capitalism? Nope. Not even a little bit.
REBECCA: Oh, please. The Eiffel Tower is just a lamppost with a publicist.
Ted (Jason Sudeikis) has a favor to ask Rebecca (Hannah Waddingham) — he needs to hire a private investigator. Of course, our girl Rebecca has connections aplenty, but she initially tries to talk Ted out of it by talking down Paris as the city of romance. The Eiffel Tower? Pssht. It’s merely a glorified lamppost with a publicist. I’ve never heard of it referred to as such, and I dig this description. The Eiffel Tower should change its name to Lamppost with a Publicist.
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BEARD: You have a great mom and dad, and they love you tons, even though it’s weird they live in different countries. And I know right now it feels like you’re in a sad song. But you, young man, you have the power to take a sad song and make it better.
Beard is surprisingly sweet with children. I shouldn’t be surprised because he’s like an adult-sized kid. He can see Henry’s struggling with his parents’ divorce, so he swoops in to save the day by imparting the meaning of The Beatles’ “Hey Jude.” It feels like Henry is trapped in a sad song; however, he has the power to take said sad song and make it better. As a child of divorce, I wish I had someone like Beard to deliver encouraging, comforting words to alleviate the pain of being in the middle of my warring parents.
REBECCA: You need to stop letting yesterday get in the way of today, Ted.
Perhaps this line is clever because Rebecca knows Ted is listening to a busker belting out a Beatles cover. Still, her statement profoundly resonates with those of us who dwell in the past, myself included. We’re creatures of habit and fearful of the future. It’s easy to incessantly replay what’s already happened on a loop in your mind. Too bad The Beatles don’t have a song called “Today” in their repertoire.
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KEELEY: Jack, I’m not doing it. This video being leaked is not my fault. But for some reason, you think it is. I don’t regret making that video. And I don’t regret sending it.
This quote isn’t revolutionary or particularly creative on its own, but when you add the context of Keeley (Juno Temple) finally standing up for herself, it’s brilliant. She tells Jack (Jodi Balfour) she won’t deliver an apology to the public, nor does she regret making/sending the video. Jack must harbor some form of unacknowledged internalized misogyny because she’s shaming her partner for something out of her control. (Or it’s merely that she’s rich enough to get away with murder.)
After all, Keeley didn’t leak her private property. I’m proud of our fave PR whiz for being her own defense squad. What a badass.
What are your favorite quotes from “We’ll Never Have Paris”? Sound off in the comments below!
Ted Lasso drops new episodes every Wednesday on Apple TV+.
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What I do: I'm GGA's Managing Editor, a Senior Contributor, and Press Coordinator. I manage, contribute, and coordinate. Sometimes all at once. Joking aside, I oversee day-to-day operations for GGA, write, edit, and assess interview opportunities/press events.
Who I am: Before moving to Los Angeles after studying theater in college, I was born and raised in Amish country, Ohio. No, I am not Amish, even if I sometimes sport a modest bonnet.
Bylines in: Tell-Tale TV, Culturess, Sideshow Collectibles, and inkMend on Medium.
Critic: Rotten Tomatoes, CherryPicks, and the Hollywood Creative Alliance.
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