Ted Lasso is back this week with another stellar outing. Season 3 Episode 4, “Big Week,” is a tender, hilarious and heartwarming deep dive into character dynamics and inner growth. Ted’s development demonstrated in this episode is significant, especially when comparing Season 3 Ted to Season 1 Ted. His scene with Michelle in the closing moments of “Big Week” is as gratifying as it is poignant. 

We get a lot of character parallels between Ted and Nate, as well as Ted and Rebecca. The outing infuses Nate with nuance and vulnerability as we learn to love him again. He’s still the same innately awkward, adorable Nate, but with a Darth Vader-esque figure — Rupert Mannion — whispering manipulatively in his ear and spinning devious machinations to hurt Rebecca/Richmond. 

While AFC Richmond loses the big match against West Ham United, our characters no longer stake their value and self-worth on winning. They’ve effectively been Lasso-ed. The outing is also a touching tribute to the late Grant Wahl, an American sports journalist and soccer analyst. 

In honor of the show returning for a third and final (sobs) season, I’ve compiled a list of my favorite quotes from “Big Week.” Peruse at your peril. 

RELATED: Best Quotes From Ted Lasso‘s ‘4-5-1’

COACH BEARD: So, we gotta stop thinking like Nate and start thinking like Nate would think we would think if Nate were thinking like us and then do the last thing that Nate thinking like us thinking like Nate thinking like us would ever expect us to do. 

Before Richmond’s big match against West Ham, Coach Beard (Brendan Hunt) and Roy (Brett Goldstein) hash out their game plan to a bewildered Higgins (Jeremy Swift). Well, he’s more confused by the above Beard quote — as am I. How many times did Brendan Hunt trip up while delivering this line? It’s a mind-melter. Try saying it 10 times fast. I dare you.

Ted, Trent and Roy stand over Coach Beard, who shows them video footage on a laptop, in Ted Lasso Season 3 Episode 4, "Big Week."

Jason Sudeikis, James Lance, Brendan Hunt and Brett Goldstein in “Ted Lasso,” Season 3 Episode 4, “Big Week,” now streaming on Apple TV+.

That said, this scene, in general, perfectly encapsulates Roy as a character while putting Beard in a Ted-like situation. Beard’s usually not this verbose, while Roy is all about brevity. Hunt has fun playing against Beard’s type here. 

RELATED: Top 10 Inspirational Ted Lasso Quotes

ZAVA: I let all of my children name themselves once they reach the age of seven. That is why my eldest is called “Smingus Dingus.” Dream big, and you may never wake up. 

Ah, the wisdom of Zava (Maximilian Osinski). He should write a book. After Thierry (Moe Jeudy-Lamour) corrects Zava’s pronunciation of his surname, Zava imparts parenting tips to the team. Allow your kids to name themselves when they hit the age of lucky number seven. Then, ensure they’re stuck with those names forever, no matter how embarrassing they are. Of course, Smingus Dingus could become Prime Minister one day. Imagine referring to your PM as “Prime Minister Dingus”? Comedy gold. 

Keeley stands next to Shandy, who sits, while both hold to-go coffee cups and smile in Ted Lasso Season 3 Episode 4, "Big Week."

Juno Temple and Ambreen Razia in “Ted Lasso,” Season 3 Episode 4, “Big Week,” now streaming on Apple TV+.

Side note: Is it me, or did Osinski’s delivery of that last line about dreaming big sound like a threat? Namely, the “you may never wake up” bit? Sleep with one eye open tonight, fellas.  

RELATED: Best Quotes From Ted Lasso‘s ‘(I Don’t Want to Go to) Chelsea’

JAMIE: Why the f**k did you do that? 

ISAAC: I was just checking if I acquired the ability to chop things in half. 

JAMIE: And what if you had? 

ISAAC: Sorry, bruv. I didn’t think it through. 

Poor Isaac (Kola Bokinni) thought he chopped the BELIEVE sign in half, so he decided to test his newfound abilities on Jamie (Phil Dunster). Jamie questioning what would’ve happened if he could chop things in half, meaning if Isaac had successfully rendered Jamie in two, is pretty damn funny. It’s all in Dunster’s delivery. He sounds so sincere, as does Bokinni’s response, especially when he examines the potentially offending hand. Isaac’s already super cool, so having superpowers would only maximize said cool factor. 

Nate stands in front of a dry-erase board in the locker room at West Ham United while talking to his players in Ted Lasso Season 3 Episode 4, "Big Week."

Nick Mohammed in “Ted Lasso,” Season 3 Episode 4, “Big Week,” now streaming on Apple TV+.

KEELEY: Oh, I’m so happy that it’s a super and not a skinny. Who are those even for? It’s not like my vagina is on a diet, I’m on my f**king period. 

This quote might not gel with those who don’t have periods, but Keeley’s (Juno Temple) complaint profoundly resonates with me as a period-haver. When Jack (Jodi Balfour) hands Keeley a “super” tampon after the latter discovers her period is here, our fave PR gal is relieved that it’s not a “skinny.” The bit about Keeley’s vagina not being on a diet cracked me up. Also, true story. Those skinnies do next to nothing when you’ve got that flow going. Hats off to the writers for not shying away from period talk. 

RELATED: Best Quotes From Ted Lasso‘s ‘Smells Like Mean Spirit’

TED: Tried something new. It didn’t work. Big whoop. 

Ted (Jason Sudeikis) knows a thing or two about trying and failing. At the Richmond/West Ham match, Roy and Beard go against Ted’s wishes by showing the Greyhounds the footage of Nate (Nick Mohammed) ripping the BELIEVE sign. Naturally, the boys approach the match’s second half from a place of ferocity, tackling the West Ham players on the pitch and using violence to win. It backfires spectacularly, and they lose. Beard and Roy expect Ted to put them in their place, but they should know by now that Ted doesn’t operate like that.

His response to trying something new and crashing and burning is refreshing. “Big whoop” should be how we all feel after a failure instead of relentlessly harping on it. Be a goldfish. 

Rupert Mannion stands in the doorway of West Ham United headquarters with his hands in his pockets in Ted Lasso Season 3 Episode 4, "Big Week."

Anthony Head in “Ted Lasso,” Season 3 Episode 4, “Big Week,” now streaming on Apple TV+.

REBECCA: I saw you with your assistant. Your daughter deserves better, and so does Bex. Stop f**king around. 

Rebecca (Hannah Waddingham) cuts Rupert (Anthony Head) and his smug face down to size when she reveals she saw him canoodling with his assistant. She reminds him that Bex (Keeley Hazell) and their child deserve better. Something tells me Bex has an inkling of what her husband is up to, given her snide remarks to him in front of Rebecca. That and the knowing glances the two women exchange. Rebecca effectively knocking Rupert down a peg is a triumph worth more than winning a football match. Hannah Waddingham is a force of nature, as is the character she plays. 

RELATED: Catch up on the Greyhound goodness with our Ted Lasso recaps! 

What are your favorite quotes from “Big Week”? Sound off in the comments below!

Ted Lasso drops new episodes every Wednesday on Apple TV+.

Geek Girl Authority Crush of the Week: REBECCA WELTON

Melody McCune
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