DISCLAIMER: This recap of SurrealEstate Season 2 Episode 4, “I Put a Spell on You,” contains spoilers. Proceed at your peril.
Must be the season of the witch. “I Put a Spell on You” is another fun, campy, spooky SurrealEstate outing culminating in an unexpected yet delightful cliffhanger. I’d argue it’s one of the most high-stakes moments in this show’s history. The writers expertly and methodically built up to it, too.
Additionally, we get another appearance from the iconic Rita Weiss, plenty of Zooey zingers (and her being a general badass), Luke being an idiot (Maybe listen to Auggie?) and an alluring redhead. It’s a solid episode overall.
Ready to delve into “I Put a Spell on You”? Let’s get to it.
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We open with a teenage boy on the phone while walking home. It’s dark as sh*t and appropriately spooky for an episode airing days before Halloween. Naturally, he thinks he’s safe. Unfortunately, something in the woods grabs him by the ankle, yanking him into the trees beyond. Uh-oh. Then, we see Susan (Sarah Levy) lounging in her new home. She’s smitten with it. Susan asks the Smart Home Device (voiced by Patrick Kwok-Choon) to call the “Condescending, Unappreciative Jerk,” aka Luke. She leaves a voicemail for him, claiming she needs a few more days to decompress. I love her. You take that time for self-care!
Meanwhile, Luke (Tim Rozon) shows an abandoned house to a prospective buyer who wants to demolish it and the property behind it for his tennis courts, guest houses, etc. Money is no object. While the man calls his architect, Luke is drawn to the other property. It’s a quaint little “cabin in the woods.” Luke leaves his business card on the doorknob. We see a mysterious someone observing him from inside the house.
Later, Luke meets with Zooey (Savannah Basley) and Phil (Adam Korson) at basecamp to establish the next steps for their uber-rich client. Well, probably more like “financially irresponsible” client. Phil and Luke poke fun at Zooey because her first client as a real estate agent is a couple known for being “looky-loos.” They’ve never purchased a home. It looks like Zooey might have her work cut out for her.
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Sure enough, Zooey comes up empty while showing Freida (Heather Phillipps) and Lara (Lonni Patey) around a new property. She calls Luke to complain. Additionally, she asks him if he’s reached out to Susan. After all, the real estate bowling event is that night. Luke assumes he’ll see her there. After his chat with Zooey, Luke meets Kay (Tara Yelland), the woman who resides in the “cabin in the woods.” She found his business card.
While they engage in light flirting, August (Maurice Dean Wint) shows Phil his new invention: a device that goes behind your ear. It stimulates the cochlear nerve whenever there’s a supernatural presence. It won’t fully restore Luke’s abilities but will alert him when he’s around said supernatural presence. Phil tries it on for size. Unfortunately, he hears a significantly loud feedback noise, causing him to rip it off. Perhaps it’s just a prototype.
Then, Luke urges Kay to sell her property. Why? Because this buyer will offer her way more money than it’s worth. However, Kay refuses to budge. Before she departs, though, she agrees to go out to dinner with Luke. Once she leaves, Auggie warns Luke to keep an eye on her. Something’s amiss.
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Later, another teen boy becomes a victim of the woods. Zooey struggles to get Lara and Freida to bite on a house the following day. Auggie clarifies his concerns to Luke while showing him his cochlear device. He tells Luke that there’s something supernatural about Kay. Luke brushes Auggie off, claiming the latter has nothing to worry about. She’s merely a human woman! (Except not…)
Next, after learning about Luke’s date and cracking jokes, Zooey runs into Rita Weiss (Alison Brooks). Rita offers Zooey concrete advice regarding customers. Give them what they need, not what they want. Admittedly, it’s sound advice despite coming from a competitor. Meanwhile, Phil expresses his concerns about the missing teenage boys. Could it be related to Kay? Speaking of, yet another teenager follows a young redheaded girl in the woods and … vanishes. Hmm.
Zooey implements Rita’s advice when she picks up Freida and Lara for another day of showings. However, instead of giving them tours of whatever they want, she drives them to a house they need. That’s my girl — she’s taking charge.
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Then, Luke arrives at Kay’s house for their date. She tells him about the blood moon, which hints at her mystical origins. Sure enough, we glimpse inside her house. There’s a crystal bowl filled with blood. Lit candles surround it. And lo and behold, we see three teenage boys hooked up to tubes, transferring their blood to said bowl. Creepy.
Meanwhile, Luke and Kay slather on a thicker layer of flirtation. The male server gets annoyed when Kay doesn’t acknowledge him. Yep, she can put men under her sway. Zooey shows the ideal home to Lara and Freida. She really sells the hell out of it. Thankfully, they seize the opportunity to purchase it. Zooey managed to sell a property to a pair of looky-loos. Huzzah. While Luke and Kay grow closer at the restaurant, Zooey leaves him a voicemail, revealing that while she got the couple to buy a house, it’s a Rita Weiss listing. Oh, well.
Later, Auggie and Phil dive into research at The Roman Agency. As it turns out, Kay is an ancient Hungarian witch who must feed on the blood of men and boys during every blood moon. It recharges and sustains her until the next one. Our pair leaves the agency, hoping to catch Luke before he becomes Kay’s latest victim.
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Kay invites Luke inside for a nightcap. She gives him some wine, which makes him lose control of his faculties. She leads him upstairs to her blood lair. Finally, Auggie and Phil arrive at Kay’s house. They find her sitting in a bathtub while bathing in blood and chanting a Hungarian spell. Luke is among the teenage boys, becoming increasingly weaker as Kay drains him of his blood.
Auggie appears transfixed by Kay as Phil drums up a solution. Luke weakly urges him to block out the moonlight, which will zap her of her strength. Phil leaps across the room and grabs a curtain. He tosses it over her, but not before delivering a badass line in Hungarian. Kay withers away to a skeleton in seconds. As Auggie and Phil rescue Luke and the boys, Phil jokingly tells Luke that Kay is too old for him.
Later, the gang reunites at the bowling alley for Susan’s real estate function. The various agencies will compete against each other in a rousing bowling match. Rita calls Zooey over to meet the “Listed Sisters,” a group of women real estate agents kicking ass and taking names. Feminism! Zooey increasingly looks like she wants to close her eyes and blip out of there. Zooey apologizes to Luke for selling a Rita listing, but he’s proud of her. Everything’s coming up Roman Agency, y’all. The duo realizes Susan’s still not there. Speaking of, we see Susan attempting to leave her house. However, the Smart Home Device refuses to unlock the doors.
Suddenly, the walls close in on Susan—my worst nightmare. Then, the walls absorb her entirely. Susan’s now inside her dream home. Uh-oh.
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How will the gang save Susan? Will her house put up a fight? Does a malevolent spirit haunt the Smart Home Device, or is it AI going rogue? Only time (and more episodes) will tell.
SurrealEstate airs new episodes every Wednesday at 10/9c on your Syfy affiliate.
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