Schmigadoon! has quickly become a favorite around these parts. Not only do we adore it for how it lovingly sends up musicals, but it is also chock-full of unique, hilariously quotable lines. Some of them are even quite profound!
Naturally, there are spoilers below for all of Season 2 of Schmigadoon! Please enter at your own risk.
“Welcome to Schmicago” (Season 2 Episode 1)
Melissa: I’ve literally seen every season of Drag Race.
After the Kratt Klub singers sing their song meant to scandalize the audience, Melissa (Cecily Strong) responds with nonchalance and confusion. This exemplifies how Schmigadoon! is super queer without being outwardly so. I mean, I know it’s a musical show, but still …
Melissa: “I’m a doctor, an obstetrician.”
Kratt: “Of course you are.”
Melissa: “Really? Here, too?”
Josh: “I’m so sorry, honey.”
Sexism exists in every world she enters, whether real, Schmigadoon or Schmicago, and I love the acknowledgment. Moreover, I appreciate that Josh (Keegan-Michael Key) is an imperfect ally.
“Bustin’ Out” (Season 2 Episode 2)
Topher: Squirrels find nuts in the forest
Robins fly high in the air
What am I supposed to be?
Who is this guy called me?
When will I see
My doorway to where?
(But really, all of “Doorway to Where.”) Topher (Aaron Tveit) is ridiculous, and this represents that so well. Nothing says cis white guy mediocrity than being pleased by recentering a conversation to be about you and then bustin’ out this gem.
Bobbie: Bobbie doesn’t dwell on the past. Bobbie stays in the present tense, third person.
Very few things make me as happy as a good grammar joke. Bobbie (Jane Krakowski) is the perfect character to pull this off, considering her quick wit and fast speech.
“Bells and Whistles” (Season 2 Episode 3)
Josh: Aren’t you omniscient?
The Narrator: Am I? Who knows?
The Narrator (Titus Burgess) is one of the strongest additions to Schmigadoon!, not least because of Burgess’s sublime performance. Josh’s (and Melissa’s) utter frustration with him is 🧑🍳’s 💋! Can you imagine being followed by a sassy narrator who refused to acknowledge their powers?
Ms. Codwell: They’re possibly the worst brats in town.Dooley: Yes, these are probably the worst [bräts] in town.
“Something Real” (Season 2 Episode 4)
Tribe: “We’re gonna let it all hang out!”
Michael: “Even our weiners!”
I will never not like a well-placed weiner joke. And Michael (Michael Delleva), in all his earnestness, delivers it so well!
Josh: Mel, please do not engage with The Narrator.
The exasperation in Josh’s voice, as he begs Melissa to do something he knows she’s about to do anyway, is so #couplegoals in its own weird way; I can’t not add this to the list.
“Famous as Hell” (Season 2 Episode 5)
Kratt: I’m incapable of feeling remorse.
Yikes! Kratt (Patrick Page) is absolutely terrifying. However, Page manages to make the horror funny through the quality of his voice, keeping a cartoony lightness to the whole thing.
Topher: You’re like a sour macaroon
A sour macaroon
A sour, dour, almond flour
Okay, I know this is a Jesus Christ Superstar reference, but I cannot get over the culinary incorrectness. First, I do hope Topher means almond macaroons and not macarons. Almond macaroons do exist. However, there is so much sugar in those cookies … sour!? SOUR!? Bitter, maybe. I sure hope Topher reviews the five flavors before working at the orphanage.
Dooley: God made them meat. I’m just making them into sausage.
I lol’d at this one. People so often forget that muscle = meat. So, technically we are meat. It makes sense that a butcher with extreme blood lust would make that connection.
“Over and Done” (Season 2 Episode 6)
Topher: It’s true, Josh hurt me, but sometimes, when your face has been slapped, you need to turn the other cheek and let that person slap you again.
Alex: But do you?
Marissa: Yeah, that sounds bad.
It’s no secret that The Tribe, particularly Michael, Alex (Alex Gullason) and Marissa (Marisa Gold), were some of this season’s standouts. Starting from the fact that their character names were so uncreative to the fact they lit up the screen with their presence, they held their own against Broadway and TV stars. Here, they hold their own against Biblical teaching.
The Narrator: (Stamping feet) I want a life of my own! With romance … and it’s gonna be with … (points to Rivera) him!
Rivera: I don’t hate it.
It’s gay; of course, I love it. No, but seriously, this line speaks to the insta-love that happens in musicals and seemingly out of nowhere happy endings. Like Sergeant Rivera (Jaime Camil), I don’t hate it.
Bonus (every episode)
Barfly: I’ll drink to that!
There’s something to be admired about really committing to a bit, which Schmigadoon! and Barfly actor Karin Konoval truly did. I cannot imagine how many shoot days Konoval had to show up for just to deliver that one line. For the show, it’s a risk that the bit could get old. It didn’t.
All episodes of Schmigadoon! are now streaming on Apple TV+.
This article was originally published on 5/7/23.
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