DISCLAIMER: This recap of the Reginald the Vampire episode “No One Dies for Failing the SATs” contains spoilers. Proceed at your peril. 

Welcome back, baby vamps! Reginald the Vampire‘s penultimate episode is one of its best outings thus far. Em Haine shines this go-round, delivering a heartbreaking and tender performance. Everyone doles out excellent work in “No One Dies for Failing the SATs,” and the stakes (no, not wooden ones) are higher than ever. As we head into the season finale, there’s a real sense of urgency. 

On another note, am I starting to like Todd? He’s not perfect by any stretch, and I’m not excusing his repugnant fatphobia, but maybe there’s hope for his redemption. He must apologize to Reginald, though. 

Ready to delve into “No One Dies for Failing the SATs”? Let’s get to it. 

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We open with Sarah (Haine) and Ashley (Marguerite Hanna) working a busy shift at the Slushy Shack. They’re incredibly short-staffed at the moment, with Reginald skipping town and Todd, you know… After her shift, Sarah chats with Claire (Thailey Roberge) about Reginald and whether they miss him. Sarah rants in a roundabout way regarding her feelings for Reggie, a.k.a. yes, she misses him. 

Angela, LeBron and Penelope stand in an ornately decorated room while looking serious in Reginald the Vampire Season 1 Episode 9, "No One Dies for Failing the SATs."

REGINALD THE VAMPIRE — “No One Dies for Failing the SATs” Season 1 Episode 9 — Pictured: (l-r) Savannah Basley as Angela, Sean Yves Lessard as LeBron, Georgia Waters as Penelope — (Photo by: James Dittiger/SYFY)

Meanwhile, LeBron (Sean Yves Lessard) introduces Eve (Hannah Levien) as the regional director for the Midwestern vampire chapter. Eve hands Angela (Savannah Basley) paperwork regarding her transfer. Angela will now serve in Eve’s old position in the Yukon. It’s her punishment for allowing Reggie to miss his Assessment and allowing his friends to live. Eve gives Angela one week to move out of her house. What a ballsy move. 

Next, Maurice (Mandela Van Peebles) and Reginald (Jacob Batalon) stand outside the Slushy Shack. Reggie must make amends, especially with his rescheduled Assessment looming. Claire embraces Reggie while Sarah stares him down. Sarah fires Reginald. Then, she explains that Todd tried to kill himself in the breakroom. He survived, but now he sits in the breakroom and refuses to leave. 

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Reginald reunites with Todd (Aren Buchholz), who practically jumps out of his skin when the former approaches. Todd begs Reggie not to kill him. He reveals he told everyone about Reginald being a vampire; however, nobody believed him. Reggie discloses the multiple times Todd underwent glamouring and lets it slip that Maurice is also a vampire. Reginald asserts he’s there to mend fences and offers his blood to Todd for consumption. 

Todd does as he’s bid. He feels instantly reinvigorated — even his neck wound heals. Reginald apologizes profusely for what happened between them. Meanwhile, Maurice finds Angela packing for the Yukon. Maurice reminds her of their deal: she would spare Reginald’s friends if he found the baby vamp in question. Maurice asks for access to the archives, which Angela grants. However, she urges him to keep this under wraps lest Eve finds out. 

Penelope (Georgia Waters) warns Maurice about Mike’s dangerous mission by speaking in riddles. We see Mike (Ryan Jinn) meeting with Wick (Toby Berner). Wick hands Mike a case with vials of angel’s blood. Methinks Mike plans to finish what Maurice started!

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Later, Reginald peruses the Assessment and vampire archives and finds nothing useful. Maurice believes his progeny is merely distracted, so he urges Reggie to tie up those loose ends with Sarah. Reginald reunites with Sarah outside the Slushy Shack. He finally divulges the truth — he’s a vampire. Oh, and her memory gaps are the result of vampire glamouring. Unfortunately, Sarah doesn’t believe him and claims she’s through with him. She storms off. Ugh, this doesn’t feel right. 

Maurice sits on a couch while wearing a black coat and red shirt and looking focused in Reginald the Vampire Season 1 Episode 9, "No One Dies for Failing the SATs."

REGINALD THE VAMPIRE — “No One Dies for Failing the SATs” Season 1 Episode 9 — Pictured: Mandela Van Peebles as Maurice — (Photo by: James Dittiger/SYFY)

Meanwhile, Angela hangs out with Gemma (Jody Thompson) one last time. She refuses to glamour her lady love any longer, so Angela ensures Gemma recalls everything they’ve done and said together. Gemma doesn’t want to let go of Angela, but the latter vows not to go down without a fight. They tearfully bid farewell. 

While at work, Sarah mulls over Reginald’s vampiric confession and pieces together all the peculiar occurrences that inexplicably make sense because of this revelation. She knocks on Reginald’s door and demands to see his fangs. Reggie obliges. She believes him now but is unsure if she wants to rekindle their romance. That said, Sarah wants to come inside his apartment. Reggie lightly rejects her, claiming it’s not a good idea. 

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Next, Angela pops by with some ammo — extra archival information to help him pass the Assessment. After she departs, Maurice promises to figure out her angle. It’s Angela, after all. There’s almost always an ulterior motive. Maurice heads back to Angela’s (or, rather, Eve’s) place to find Mike dosing Angela’s wine with angel’s blood. Maurice reminds his former roommate/lover/boyfriend (?) that killing Angela won’t halt the Assessment in its tracks. He needs Angela alive. 

Then, Maurice finds Todd lurking behind the Slushy Shack. Todd begs Maurice to turn him into a vampire. Well, after he tells Maurice about his dad dying after punching a bear. Meanwhile, Sarah affirms what Ashley already knew, that Reggie is a vampire. Apparently, Reginald is throwing a party at the Slushy Shack. This development prompts Sarah to question whether Reggie withholds anything from her. Todd pops his shirt off while making his case for becoming a vamp. He emphatically claims this is the best he’ll ever look. 

Once Todd’s a vampire, then he can do fun stuff with Maurice. Okay, these two have chemistry. I can’t believe I’m shipping Todd with anyone, but here we are. Maurice refuses to turn Todd, though, so no dice. Maurice discovers Reggie pouring over the records Angela brought. They chronicle every winner of the Assessment. There’s even documentation for Logan the Duplicitous. Reggie learned about the kinds of tests in the Assessment, and they’re all designed to make him fail. Maurice encourages Reggie to party it up if this is his last night on Earth. 

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Later, Maurice brings pizza and cookies to the Slushy Shack while Todd, Ashley and Claire help set things up. Mike waltzes in with Sarah hot on his heels. Sarah brings a disco ball for the occasion. She seems significantly less angry with Reginald. Nikki (Christin Park) makes her grand entrance, reuniting with an elated Claire. Nikki vows to protect Claire. 

Reginald stands in front of the Slushy Shack counter while Sarah stands behind it and looks at him in Reginald the Vampire Season 1 Episode 9, "No One Dies for Failing the SATs."

REGINALD THE VAMPIRE — “No One Dies for Failing the SATs” Season 1 Episode 9 — Pictured: (l-r) Thailey Roberge , Jacob Batalon as Reginald, Em Haine as Sarah — (Photo by: James Dittiger/SYFY)

Meanwhile, LeBron and Penelope present Angela with more paperwork. Who knew vampires were so concerned with paper trails? Penelope reveals that Logan wants Angela to attend the Assessment as a page. Oof, talk about a punch to the pride. At the party, Sarah tries to elicit an answer as to why Reggie brought them all together, but he remains mum. Nikki reunites with Ashley, and sparks fly. Ashley learns Nikki is a vampire after the latter sniffs out their blood type. I love this pairing. 

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Reginald brings his friends together to deliver a speech about his gratitude for his circle of pals. He apologizes for his behavior. Suddenly, Logan (Julian Richings) arrives, and Nikki orders the humans to kneel and not make eye contact while in the ancient vampire’s presence. Sarah refuses to kneel, however, prompting Reginald to shield her when Logan moves closer. Logan wants Reginald to display his impressive vampire glamouring abilities. 

Thus, Reggie glamours Logan to leave Akron and never return. Oh, and to cancel the Assessment. Unfortunately, Logan cannot be glamoured. He’s an old fart. Logan states the Assessment will happen as planned — the following day — and Reginald will fail. Then, he and Maurice will be executed. 

Sarah finds Reginald sitting alone after the Logan incident. Reggie admits he’s terrified. Sarah wants to help. Todd asks Reginald to make him a vampire. He believes he can help Reggie pass the Assessment. A lightbulb goes off in our baby vamp’s head. He grants Todd’s wish, much to Sarah’s surprise. He will turn Todd into a vamp. So Todd can keep Maurice safe, of course. Maurice catches Reggie leaving the Slushy Shack. Our boy has an idea. The vampire council won’t know what hit them. 

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“No One Dies for Failing the SATs” is a more somber affair than the show’s lighter episodes, but there’s still a smattering of Reginald the Vampire‘s cheeky humor. As usual, it doesn’t skimp on the heart. Julian Richings is the perfect choice for Logan. His physicality and overall demeanor suit genre shows so well. 

Maurice and Angela lock eyes while standing next to each other in the latter's home in Reginald the Vampire Season 1 Episode 9, "No One Dies for Failing the SATs."

REGINALD THE VAMPIRE — “No One Dies for Failing the SATs” Season 1 Episode 9 — Pictured: (l-r) Mandela Van Peebles as Maurice, Savannah Basley as Angela — (Photo by: James Dittiger/SYFY)

How will Reginald pass the Assessment? Will Angela burn it all down before heading to the Yukon? Will we get a Todd/Maurice pairing, or should Todd put his shirt back on? One thing’s for certain — more blood will undoubtedly spill in next week’s season finale. 🩸

Reginald the Vampire airs its Season 1 finale next Wednesday at 10/9c on your Syfy affiliate.

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