Abbott Elementary never misses, and this week is no exception. “Story Samurai” marks a turning point for Jacob (Chris Perfetti) as he finally acknowledges an inherent part of his personality — he’s corny. We’re all reminded of Jacob’s corniness when a traveling storytelling troupe he used to participate in comes to Abbott. Perfetti shines here, as does the whole cast, because, let’s face it, this cast is one of the strongest ensembles in comedy.
I always love watching Barbara’s (Sheryl Lee Ralph) and Melissa’s (Lisa Ann Walter) friendship flourish in unexpected ways. Barbara straightforwardly telling her BFF that it’s okay to ask for help is such a great moment. There are a handful of “Come to Jesus” moments in this outing, and it’s beautiful to watch these characters grow closer because of them.
Below, I’ve compiled a list of quotes (and moments around the quotes) I loved from this week’s episode of Abbott Elementary. Class is in session!
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MR. JOHNSON: It’s called functional fashion.
Mr. Johnson (William Stanford Davis) is an icon. His scenes are guaranteed hilarity. I’d love to have a coffee with him while discussing who’s in the Illuminati and the custodial arts. This quote resulted from everyone’s fave Abbott janitor using Janine’s (Quinta Brunson) shawl to wear and use as a cleaning implement. It’s called functional fashion for a reason!
JACOB: Look, I don’t condone violence, but it slaps.
Only Jacob would use a term correctly while misusing it. The way it rolls off his tongue is reminiscent of an older, out-of-touch person trying to keep up with all that youthful lingo. Jacob’s also painfully white, as am I, and I imagine this is how I would sound if I said, “It slaps” out loud.
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AVA: I’m so excited about your performance. I’m stretching so I don’t throw my back out laughing — I mean, learning.
Ava (Janelle James) always delivers on the one-liner front. With the above quote, she makes a ham-fisted attempt to hide how ready she is to watch Jacob make a fool of himself onstage. Who knew you could throw out your back from learning? Not I!
JANINE: Look, you are a white teacher in a Black school.
JACOB: I am not Hilary Swank in Freedom Writers.
JANINE: You are Hilary Swank in Freedom Writers. You are Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds. You are Sandra Bullock in —
JACOB: In Bird Box?
JANINE: In The Blind Side.
Okay, I know this is an entire exchange, but it’s too good not to include on the list. Abbott Elementary pokes fun at a few Hollywood white savior films featuring white women taking Black kids under their wing. This interaction is hysterical, especially since it’s bolstered by Brunson and Perfetti’s innate chemistry and the close bond between their characters. Janine’s gasp after she blurts out The Blind Side is perfect.
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JACOB: I’m Jacob Hill, and as it turns out, I’m corny. Corny isn’t bad. It just is.
This quote isn’t funny, but not all of my favorite lines from this show fit that category. Sometimes, they’re poignant. Other times, they’re thought-provoking. Then, there’s a line like the one above — a self-realizing, fully accepting statement. As a fellow corny person and one who’s perpetually self-conscious while putting stock in what other people think, Jacob’s confession hit me like a ton of bricks. To watch him acknowledge and accept his corniness while running with it onstage is, as the kids say, goals.
Additionally, it’s gratifying watching Jacob’s friends, i.e., Janine and Gregory (Tyler James Williams), accept him into the fold and encourage him to pursue his corny desires.
What are your favorite quotes from “Story Samurai”? Sound off in the comments below!
Abbott Elementary airs Wednesdays at 9/8c on ABC, with next-day streaming on Hulu.
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What I do: I'm GGA's Managing Editor, a Senior Contributor, and Press Coordinator. I manage, contribute, and coordinate. Sometimes all at once. Joking aside, I oversee day-to-day operations for GGA, write, edit, and assess interview opportunities/press events.
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