DISCLAIMER: This Preacher recap contains more spoilers than the number of followers Jesse has. Since he’s slowly rising to Messianic fame, that would be quite a lot. You’ve been warned. Say your prayers, and proceed with caution. 

Welcome back, Genesis possessors! Preacher delivered unto us one whopper of a season finale! We wrapped up loose ends while simultaneously unraveling more threads. To me, that’s proof of a good finale – yes, questions are answered, but different ones sprout up in their place. We’ll definitely have enough to chew on and mull over until Season 3 (hopefully) arrives. 

Well, shall we drive to the end of the road? Be sure to stock up on blood bags and SPF 100 sunscreen. I hear Bimini is scorching this time of year. 

Not the best environment for a white suit.

We open with a flashback: a young Jesse Custer (Will Kindrachuk) is dressed to the nines in a pristine white suit, sitting on the side of a dirt road. That suit won’t stay white for long, boy. We see he’s ushering people down the road to meet with Madame L’angelle – his grandmother. She’s a well-known spirit guide/occultist in Angelville, apparently. Jesse collects parking fees from each customer that passes him by.

A mysterious man sidles up to him and drops a bagged lunch in his hands. Jesse hands over a wad of cash in payment. Then, said mystery man keeps his hand aloft, knowing Jesse is harboring more money than he’s sharing. He grabs Jesse’s arm and twists it till the young Custer wrenches said arm free. He hands the man his wallet. Whomever this guy is, he sure holds dominion over our future preacher. 

Later, Jesse pays a visit to the Madame L’angelle estate. He asks his grandmother (Julie Oliver-Touchstone) for help. She reminds him that everything comes at a price. Thus, Jesse drops a dead rooster in front of her. Consider the price paid in full, Madame!

Flash forward time! Adult Jesse (Dominic Cooper) is waiting in the lobby of a building. Herr Starr (Pip Torrens) informs him the crowd is waiting for the next Messiah to speak. Aw, Jesse’s first speech as a Savior! Just imagine them all in their underwear, and you’ll do just fine. 

Jesse doesn’t wear cloaks for anybody.

Then, Jesse enters the classroom, and I immediately retract my underwear comment. Sorry to make things weird. Anyway, we see it’s a Catholic school. Starr procures a tripod and sets up his iPhone (technology, am I right?) to record the event. A nun introduces Jesse as someone almost as important as God, but not quite. Jesse begins reciting the speech Starr wrote for him.

However, they’re rudely interrupted by a group of armed men attempting to wreak havoc on the school. Jesse forms a barricade with the tables at their disposal and orders the youngsters to take shelter behind them. Now, time for a little Genesis magic.

Pictured: Dominic Cooper

Well, maybe not. Jesse attempts to use his power to demand the men drop their weapons. Unfortunately, said power does zilch. Instead, the men decide to take our preacher on in hand-to-hand combat. Jesse tries to use one of their guns but notices it’s bereft of bullets. What I love about this action scene is the music – George Harrison’s “My Sweet Lord” is blaring in the background. Genius. 

Next, Jesse successfully lays the smack down on the baddies. Take that, evil doers! We hear raucous cheers from the school children, as they chant for Jesse. Later, Jesse confronts Herr Starr for producing the whole thing – the blank guns gave it away. It was all a set up. But, Starr defends himself by informing Jesse of his skyrocketing popularity. Jesse’s fight is now trending worldwide. Jimmy Kimmel wants Jesse on his show! Thus, it’s off to sunny LA for the newest Messiah. 

Herr Starr is ready and available to shoot your next short film.

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Meanwhile, Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun) is being a saint and doing everyone’s laundry. What a considerate creature of the night! He begins by putting Denis’s clean clothes away. Just as he’s about to leave his son’s room he notices the open laptop sitting on the bed. Curiosity killed the cat, Cass. Our vampire turns it on, and is taken aback to find Denis’s vampire murder porn. That’s the only way I can describe it. Said vampire murder porn exults the undead as creatures that give in to their wildest impulses, indulge their bloodiest fantasies. Cassidy is entranced, watching the blood flow and hearing the screams. Don’t give in, dude! Thankfully, he promptly snaps out of it.

Then, he lumbers over to Tulip and Jesse’s bedroom. As he’s folding their clothes he stumbles upon Tulip’s panties. Once again, the dialogue of the vampire murder porn replays in his mind. Something tells me we might see Cassidy turn off the humanity switch at some point. 

Later, Tulip (Ruth Negga) is at a grocery store, stocking up on all the necessities our duo will need for Bimini. She grabs a shelf-full of SPF 100 sunscreen for Cassidy, and a plethora of alcohol for them both. Before she leaves though, Tulip does us all a favor by knocking the subtly sexist cashier unconscious. Then, she swipes a wad of cash from the register and attempts to give it to a mother who’s discreetly hiding items in her baby’s stroller. However, said mother scoffs at Tulip and leaves the store. At least Tulip’s heart was in the right place. 

Then, Tulip finds Cassidy smoking crack in his room. Hey, it’s medicinal crack, okay. Well, one thing leads to another and the duo are making out on Cass’s bed. Jesse who? Anyway, things are gravitating toward sexy fun times when Cassidy takes it all a step too far – he bites a chunk out of Tulip’s neck. We see Tulip lying there, bleeding heavily and appearing to be very much dead. That it, until…

Pictured: Joseph Gilgun and Ruth Negga

Cassidy snaps out of his daydream. Yay, Tulip is still among the living! She waltzes into his room and asks him how the packing is coming along. After getting a blase answer from the vampire, she promptly leaves to do some packing of her own. Bimini is waiting, you guys!

Meanwhile, our two escape artists from Hell have reached the end of their journey. Hitler (Noah Taylor) leads Eugene (Ian Colletti) to a shoreline bleeding into a massive body of water. A tall, willowy cloaked figure awaits them. Think, Grim Reaper/River Styx situation. Hitler informs Eugene that he must explain to the figure that he doesn’t belong in Hell and needs safe passage to the other side. Once our dear Arseface reaches the other side of the water he can take a bus that’ll arrive at the nearest stop on Earth. Eugene bids farewell to Hitler and thanks him (still weird) for his help. 

Then, Eugene approaches the River Styx figure and does exactly as Hitler instructed. Just as he’s about to cross via a boat Miss Mannering (Amy Hill) makes her entrance. She demands the cloaked figure give up Eugene. However, River Styx doesn’t budge, retorting that the surrounding area is her territory. We discover her name is Sharon, and it’s strangely fitting. Anyway, Mannering is preparing to fire her gun when Hitler whacks her on the head with a giant horn. Eugene thanks him once again and convinces the Fuhrer to join him topside. Um, not a good idea, dude. Let’s not start the Holocaust 2.0. 

Later, Tulip is leaving to pack the car when she discovers a microscopic camera lying on the ground. She shows Cassidy and tells him the “men in white” have been using said camera to keep tabs on our quartet. That also includes your best friend Jennie, Tulip. Anyway, Cassidy believes they should tell Jesse that Starr is a bad seed. Tulip is of the mind that Jesse has already been swayed to the side of The Grail. No use telling him now. She makes her way to the car to wait for Cass.

Side note: I really want that dress.

Then, Cassidy procures Banjo from his drawer, also known as The Cutest Puppy Who Ever Lived. Unfortunately, Denis (Ronald Guttman) enters his father’s bedroom and lays eyes on the puppy. Uh oh. He tries to persuade Cassidy to hand over Banjo. Most likely so the younger vampire can eat him.

Next, Denis spots Tulip’s panties on Cassidy’s bed and picks them up. Cass urges his son to put those down. Denis, going through his teenage vampire phase, refuses to heed his father’s demands. Cassidy realizes he can’t be good with Denis around. The Frenchman is a terrible influence. Suddenly, Cassidy pushes Denis out the window, in broad daylight. He blocks said window from the inside as Denis bursts into flames and incinerates within minutes. RIP Vampire Denis. We hardly knew ye. 

Later, Eugene and Hitler are sitting on a bus, finally topside on Earth. Hitler is taken aback by how drastically times have changed since the ’40’s. Then, said bus deposits them at their stop, wherever that may be. To be determined, I guess. As Eugene enthusiastically talks to Hitler about the latter meeting Sheriff Root, staying with them, etc., the Fuhrer makes a break for it. But not before getting creamed by an oncoming vehicle. However, after unsteadily clambering to his feet, Hitler escapes down a side alley and out of sight. Well, an escaped-from-Hell Hitler now loose upon the world can only mean good things, right?

Then, Cassidy meets Tulip in the car with Banjo in tow. He fibs to our girl regarding Denis’s whereabouts, saying the younger vampire simply wanted to stay behind. Tulip remembers she forgot to tell someone goodbye and leaves Cassidy in the car. Cass opens the car door and releases Banjo. Run wild, little pup! You’re no longer a potential vamp snack!

Next, Tulip arrives at Jennie’s (Julie Ann Emery) doorstep. Well, Lara and F.J. Hoover are cleaning house, preparing to pack their things as their mission is complete. Time to be the right hand man and woman for Herr Starr.

Pictured: Julie Ann Emery

Anyway, Tulip notices something fishy about Jennie and, being a relatively intuitive person, puts two and two together. She nicks a screwdriver and holds it steadily behind her back. Jennie approaches from the other room, a gun behind her back. Hoover (Malcolm Barrett) emerges half naked from the bathroom and solidifies Tulip’s suspicions. This scene was brilliantly done, with both actresses putting on powerhouse performances. The tension, you guys! I wasn’t sure who would attack first. Until, that is, Jennie rapidly fired her gun. 

Later, Jesse is about to board a private plane with Starr. Reporters surround them, throwing questions at our preacher in rapid succession. Jesse sees that Cassidy tried to call him. Starr attempts to convince the newest Messiah to leave his friends behind. But Jesse misses his crew, and needs to tend to them. We see Jesse hurriedly hop in a car and leave Starr in the dust. Then, Starr calls his lackeys and informs them to cancel the ambulance. 

Next, Jesse arrives at Denis’s apartment and finds Tulip bleeding profusely on the floor. Cassidy is frantically leaning over her, attempting to staunch the bleeding. Jesse switches into action mode and asks Cass to fetch him glue so they can close the wound. The bullet went cleanly through her, which is a good thing. When they can’t find glue Cass tells Jesse to use Genesis to force her to breathe. Unfortunately, his power is currently out of commission. 

Then, Cassidy suggests something our preacher vehemently hates. Cass busts out his vamp fangs and makes his case to turn Tulip. Jesse demands his mate stay away from Tulip. Our boys launch into an all-out brawl, complete with punches and choking. Suddenly, Tulip appears to be inhaling her last breath. Cassidy screams, but Jesse holds the vampire back, urging him to let Tulip die. So she does. No, I’m not a fan of this at all!

Later, our boys are driving down a dusty road, with a dead Tulip in the backseat. Cassidy confesses to Jesse that he hates him. I’m not surprised – I believe Cass has always felt this way. Anyway, the pair turns into a familiar driveway. We see the gate to Madame L’angelle’s sprawling manor before them. They’re in Angelville. 

Next, the car fades into obscurity as a familiar dog costume looms into view. We see said dog costume hanging on a hook. We’re in a bedroom, and a disheveled one at that. Jazz music fills the darkened space. The shower is running. Then, the bathroom door opens and a bright, piercing light floods the screen. 

Holy guacamole, Batman! Preacher managed to deliver a season finale that, I believe, is on par with last year’s closer. Eugene finally made it out of Hell and managed to unleash a newly revived Hitler on the masses. Tulip freaking died! Jesse is gaining popularity as the world’s latest Savior. Cassidy killed his own son! God was watching our trio as they made their way to Madame L’angelle! I’m not sure I’ll be able to wait till next year to see how this all unfolds. Preacher brought us all the zany insanity this season, and I’m going to ride this train forever. 

Do you think Jesse’s grandmother will be able to raise Tulip from the dead, and how will this affect the latter? Will The Saint of Killers get his meeting with Satan? How will Eugene cope with Annville being obliterated, and where will he go? What kind of havoc will Hitler unleash upon the world? Will we see an unhinged, totally vamped out Cassidy at some point? Ah, I have too many questions! If you need me, I’ll be binge watching Seasons 1 and 2 until Season 3 rears its head. 

Dying to relive the unholy antics from Season 2 of Preacher? Check out my recaps here



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