DISCLAIMER: This Preacher recap contains more spoilers than the number of times Cassidy has been left for dead. He’s lived a long afterlife, and possesses an even longer list of enemies. You’ve been warned. Say your prayers, and enter at your own peril.
Welcome back, sinners! Preacher blessed us with a whopper of a penultimate episode. Tulip is en route to Hell! Jesse slayed Allfather and released the Humperdoos! Cassidy was nailed to a board crucifixion style and left at the mercy of some formidable sunlight! Herr Starr tried on a plethora of wigs! Honestly, that last bit may be one of my favorite Preacher scenes of all time. Pip Torrens is a comedic genius.
Alright, ready to delve into “Schwanzkopf?” Just be sure to let Tulip commandeer the escape plan. Our girl is quite handy when it comes to wriggling out of sticky situations.
We open with the real Humperdoo (Tyson Ritter) taking center stage in preparation for the final Genesis transfer trial. The Tom/Brady serum is at the ready. Allfather (Jonny Coyne) is brandishing the device that initiates the transfer process. Jesse (Dominic Cooper) is still bound to a gurney-esque board. Everything is falling into place, apocalypse not withstanding. Jesse asks Allfather if the latter intends to kill him once Genesis is successfully transferred to Humperdoo. Of course, Allfather releases Jesse from his restraints and procures a gun from our preacher. Jesse says a final prayer to God before Allfather pulls the trigger.
Suddenly, Jesse wrestles the gun out of Allfather’s hand and the two engage in a bout of fisticuffs. Of course, Allfather threatens to sit on him. That would definitely be enough to kill anyone. However, Jesse injects Allfather with the Tom/Brady serum and reaches for the device that launches the transfer sequence. Jesse presses the button and boom! Allfather explodes, and every inch of the room is dripping in blood and guts. I hope nobody is eating while reading this recap. Genesis returns to Jesse once more.
Meanwhile, Lara (Julie Ann Emery) is waiting at the bus stop to Hell. She’s tearfully belting out a somber hymn in an effort to calm her nerves. The Angel of Death (Erinn Ruth) backhands Lara, which effectively silences the latter. We see Eugene (Ian Colletti), Hitler (Noah Taylor) and the Saint of Killers (Graham McTavish) are also waiting with the duo. Then, the bus arrives and everyone forlornly trudges on board. Tulip (Ruth Negga) catches Lara just prior to boarding and snatches the briefcase containing Marie’s souls. However, she feels a pang of remorse for throwing Lara under the proverbial (and literal) bus. She informs the Angel of Death that Lara isn’t the real Tulip.
Now, Eugene spots Tulip and excitedly calls out her name. Tulip tries to escape, but the Angel of Death secures our girl and throws her on the bus, thus releasing Lara in the process. Dang it, O’Hare! Quit getting captured!
Later, Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun) confronts Eccarius (Adam Croasdell) regarding the latter’s incessant vampire killing. Cassidy insists that what Eccarius is doing is wrong. However, Eccarius believes he’s providing a service for the good people of Les Enfants du Sang. He’s fulfilling their wishes to become children of the night…then killing them. But, you know. Semantics. Cassidy threatens to expose Eccarius. Eccarius retaliates by knocking Cass unconscious and throwing him in his coffin. That’s not very nice.
Next, Herr Starr (Pip Torrens) arrives to find that Jesse successfully completed his task – he slaughtered Allfather. He’s overjoyed and tickled pink at the prospect of reinstating Jesse as the rightful Messiah. Suddenly, we see a small vial clatter to the floor as it slips through a…um…hanging butt hole. Yes, Preacher went there. Allfather’s remains are scattered everywhere, and he did mention where he stashed Jesse’s soul vial. Jesse and Starr both scramble for the vial, and after a brief fight, Jesse reigns victorious. He consumes his own his soul. Now, Genesis will work properly. Success!
Then, Jesse states his refusal to become the next Messiah. Starr divulges his grand plan for the apocalypse. First, Humperdoo’s tap dancing act will be televised worldwide. Next, the Grail will differentiate the believers from the nonbelievers. Then, the Grail will use their missiles to nuke the Earth, thus taking out the nonbelievers with it. Lastly, Humperdoo will lead the believers to a new Earth, a new paradise. This is how Starr intends to “reinvent” Earth. Wipe out the unclean and unworthy. Jesse comments on how this is the worst apocalypse plan he’s ever heard. Apparently, staging an apocalypse is a popular thing to do. Jesse vows to murder Humperdoo, so Starr’s backup Messiah plan will never come to fruition.
Meanwhile, Tulip chats it up with Eugene and Hitler on the bus to Hell. She begins pounding on a window, trying desperately to escape her fate. The incessant pounding rouses the Saint of Killers to his feet, and Tulip is faced with her greatest fear all over again. A very tall, very silent cowboy!
Later, Jody (Jeremy Childs) is driving Lara back to Angelville. He asks her if she feels remorse for Tulip going to Hell. She retorts that Tulip was most likely destined for downstairs anyway. Suddenly, Jody strikes an unseen animal with his car. Lara uses this happenstance to find her own way back to the Grail, leaving the briefcase of souls with Jody.
Next, Cassidy wakes up in his coffin and stealthily escapes. He notices that Eccarius is nowhere to be found and attempts to convince the Children of Blood to leave the elder vampire behind. However, Eccarius reappears just in time to enact punishment on Cassidy. The group resolutely stands by their leader, and Cassidy stands alone. I believe you, Cass!
Meanwhile, Tulip develops a plan of escape. Eugene and Hitler observe her genius unfold as she attempts to use the boys’ iron clad restraints to prevent the bus from driving further. Unfortunately, the chains don’t do what they’re supposed to, and the bus pushes forward with ease. Tulip is disappointed, and the Angel of Death smugly looks on. I’m sure Tulip is not the first person to try to escape the bus to Hell.
Later, Jesse enters the room where Humperdoo is gleefully playing by himself. He brandishes his gun, pointing it at the Messiah’s head. However, he can’t bring himself to pull the trigger. Instead, Jesse develops another idea. He dresses Humperdoo in clothes that are identical to thousands of other Humperdoo clones.
Then, Jesse Custer releases a horde of Humperdoos, including the real Messiah, into the world – much to Starr’s dismay. And, for the final nail in the coffin, Jesse smashes the Tom/Brady serum. He declares that Genesis solely belongs to him. Before he takes his leave, Jesse orders Starr to never wear hats again. But Herr Starr is a hat man! You can’t force a hat man to not wear hats!
Meanwhile, Eccarius hammers a nail in each of Cassidy’s hands, crucifixion style. Cass hangs loosely from a board that stands upright. We see someone draw back the curtains so the sunlight cascades through. Eccarius is punishing Cassidy by burning him alive. Fortunately, the block of sunlight is small and nowhere near our favorite vampire. Eccarius decides to leave Cassidy to his fate all the same. Eventually the sun will reach him.
Later, we see Hoover (Malcolm Barrett) has returned to the Grail with Lara in tow. They are giving Starr various wigs to try on. Starr stares forlornly at himself in the mirror. He’s back to being enemies with Jesse, which wasn’t part of the plan. Now, the Humperdoos are on the loose and he’s bereft of a Messiah. Not to mention the “no hats” rule. No hats! Hoover takes this moment to reveal that he’s now a vampire, but it won’t infringe on his duties as a Grail agent. Starr is too depressed to react to this news.
Then, Tulip chases another escape plan down the rabbit hole. First, she attempts to taunt the Angel of Death but to no avail. Next, she sets her sights on the Saint of Killers. Fortunately, he takes the bait, and she continues taunting the cowboy. He strikes her hard and she crashes into one of the bus windows, collapsing on the ground. She looks to Eugene to see if she cracked open the window, but the force of SoK’s blow barely made a dent.
Meanwhile, Cassidy spots Kevin’s grandmother cleaning up after the Les Enfants du Sang. She chastises him for turning his back on the group. She also refuses to release him from his restraints or close the curtains. However, Cassidy beseeches her to call Lisa and tell the young vamp he’s sorry. Cass also urges Kevin’s grandmother to phone the other newly turned vampires that Eccarius sent out into the world. Hopefully this will reveal Eccarius for the villain he really is.
Later, Hitler is fed up with the lack of progress Tulip is making with her escape planning. He decides to take matters into his own hands. If you’ll recall, the last time Hitler did this millions of people died. Let’s keep him away from the grand scheming. Anyway, he kicks open a window and a bomb explodes, causing the bus to crash after flipping several times. Tulip peers through the shattered window, laying on her back, to a slew of blurry faces looming above her. As it turns out, Hitler’s friends did come to his rescue. She sees a war tank with the swastika emblazoned front and center. Of course, she probably believes she’s hallucinating. The Saint of Killers and Angel of Death appear to be out of commission at the moment.
Next, TC (Colin Cunningham) and Marie (Betty Buckley) are drinking tea, waiting for Jody and Jesse to return. TC is unsure of Jesse’s commitment to the family, but Gran’ma knows her grandson will come home as promised. Sure enough, we see Jesse strolling down the road to Angelville, ready to take on Gran’ma now that his soul is restored.
Preacher Season 3 has pushed the envelope in terms of its edgy humor and delightfully gory fight scenes. It is the epitome of dark whimsy, and just plain fun. Every episode is rife with new surprises, and I can’t wait to see where the season finale takes us.
Do you think Tulip will manage to evade Hell once and for all? Can Jesse take on Gran’ma and effectively pay off his debt? Will Cassidy avoid getting barbecued? Join me next week as I recap Preacher, here on Geek Girl Authority.
Preacher airs Sundays at 10pm on your AMC affiliate.
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