Attention Hellmart Shoppers! (You thought your day job was bad!) If you know of the horrors of big box stores, and most of us do, this podcast will have you rolling on the floor! Winner of a 2017 Audio Verse Award for best theme song, Attention Hellmart Shoppers! is so “bad”, its great! A truly hellacious and hair raising cast is all this podcast needs to succeed! 

Plot of Attention Hellmart Shoppers!

Hellomart. Better than Wally World, more Southern than the Piggly Wiggly. HelloMart is a big box store located on the gates to hell. Their newest felony hire, Daniel Richmond, is having some trouble adjusting after life in big city Manhattan.  He can’t decide whether he’s more nervous about his working situation, or the patrons of HelloMart. 

Review of Attention Hellmart Shoppers!

Just like working in retail, this podcast is hilarious and full of wacky characters. From the shoppers to the retail workers, even if they only show up for a few seconds, each character is fleshed out and can be compared to someone a listener knows in real life. 

Some rich voice acting really sets the tone of this podcast. Daniel Richmond has the most evil voice heard outside of kid’s television. Ruth sounds like Roz from Monsters Inc. Every patron (And there are a lot!) has their own unique flavor, all communicated by their voices! 

There’s some slight issues with sound quality. If you can ignore them, they’re really not a big deal. A gentle fading out of the mic and then back in, that could easily be the actor backing away from the mic or odd mixing. I only noticed it a few times, mostly in sections involving Emily. It resolved after a few episodes. 

Ultimately, Attention Hellmart Shoppers! is creative and a fun time for anyone who understands the horror of retail work, especially when its underpaid, and overworked. I could see this podcast really taking off around Halloween, although it’s fun for any time of year! 

What You Need to Know

Attention Hellmart Shoppers! premiered on June 25, 2017. It will have 17 episodes after the season 1 finale on March 5, 2018. Episodes are about 30 minutes long. It has some coarse language, but overall its silly and fun! 

Fans of Vitoriocity, The Amelia Project, and The Theatre of Tomorrow should check out this podcast! 

Attention Hellmart Shoppers! is written by Thoreau Smiley. It is a part of the FateCrafters Network. You can listen to episodes of Attention Hellmart Shoppers! on iTunes, Stitcher, Libsyn, SoundCloud, YouTube, or at



Carolyn Ducker