Professional boogeyman, Michael Myers, looks like he means business in the franchise’s latest addition of HalloweenDirector David Gorden Green dropped the first official trailer on Friday morning and, as a self proclaimed horror movie buff, it looks pretty good. It stars Jamie Lee Curtis (obviously) to play her iconic role as Laurie Strode but things are a little bit different this time around.

See, even the average Halloween fan knows the story line for these movies get a little weird; almost like each of the multiple (and frankly awful) squeals result in an alternate universe compared to the last movie with the only consistences being that Michael Myers likes to kill people and that his mask is really creepy. And for those of you not familiar with these messy alternative timelines? Let me take a second to explain, this is your official spoiler warning:

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In John Carpenters original Halloween, we are introduced to our young masked killer, who was sent to a mental ward after stabbing his older sister on Halloween night in his clown costume. 15 years later he has escaped from a mental ward to return to his hometown where he goes on a rampage trying to kill babysitters and the kids they are watching. His psychiatrist, Dr. Sam Loomis, arrives right on time to shoot Michael six times and watch him fall out a window but even that wasn’t enough to kill him.

In Halloween II we are lead to believe our heroine, Laurie, is safe and sound at the hospital. Sadly that is not the case. Michael is not only alive but now determined to finish what he started. It is also revealed that he is not just targeting Laurie for the mere fun of killing, it is revealed that she is actually his biological sister. By the end of the film we assume Michael, again, has been killed by his psychiatrist for good and there’s no possible way he can come back.

The events in Halloween 3: The Season of the Witch are completely unrelated to the previous and future films, where an evil doctor plans a mass murder by infecting children’s Halloween masks with some sort of sci-fi technology. In my professional movie watching opinion, don’t bother looking into it. 

 In Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, we discover Laurie has actually died off screen but leaves behind a young daughter named Jamie.Michael returns to try and kill his niece because she is technically the last of his family’s bloodline. WhenMichael is supposedly dead for a THIRD time, it turns out that he actually just ended up in a coma. Oddly enough the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree when young Jamie stabs someone! In a clown costume!! Just! Like! Michael!

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers shows us that Jamie has seemingly returned to her normal, less homicidal self but she has been staying in a mental institution to get over the trauma of her last encounter with her Uncle Michael. After being in a coma for a year Michael wakes up and goes on yet another killing rampage in search for Jamie. Somehow there is a psychic link between the two that Dr. Sam Loomis tries to use as a trap to finish Michael off once and for all. 

In Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers it almost becomes a chore to watch. Jamie is now a young woman who has just given birth to a baby but a vague and mysterious cult that’s sort of dedicated to making Michael immortal.  Also,  remember those young kids Michael tried to kill back in the original film? One of them, Tommy Doyle (who’s played by Paul Rudd!) is now older and has become obsessed with a certain masked killer from his past. 

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later is where we are introduced into an alternate timeline where Laurie Strode not only survived, she faked her death, changed her name, moved to northern California to become the headmistress of an elite private school where her son, John, attends. It’s been twenty years since her last encounter with her brother and life seems to be going fairly well for the traumatized woman; of course, this is practically an invitation for Michael to make another unwanted appearance. LL Cool J is inspired to write a romantic novel after getting shot.

Halloween: Resurrection tells the unfortunate tale of a group of teens that won a contest to spend a night in Michael Myers’ childhood home for a live broadcast. It seems like fun and a nice way to earn 15 minutes in the spotlight. Little does anyone realize that Michael has made an unexpected return home; that’s probably because Busta Rhymes has been running around the set in his own Michael Myers mask, so nobody is paying too much attention. 

Yes, I know it is all really, really confusing though David Gordon Green makes it easier for us in latest installment. Apparently, this reboot takes place in yet another alternative universe that completely disregards all the other movies, except for the original. It is literally pretending like all the other sequels didn’t happen and I couldn’t be more excited. Now- without further ado- check out the new trailer below!

Laurie Strode comes to her final confrontation with Michael Myers, the masked figure who has haunted her since she narrowly escaped his killing spree on Halloween night four decades ago.

This time around we now see  Michael is once again behind bars for his crimes back in 1978, but a much older Laurie Strode is wise enough to know his hunger for blood will eventually bring him back to finish what he started. Exactly 40 years later Laurie’s prediction come true. Lucky for her (and our viewing pleasure) she’s been spending these 40 years training like anyone who’s survived a literal horror movie justifiably would. Halloween (2018) is set to hit theaters October 19th. Prepare yourselves. 

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Fallon Marie Gannon

Fallon Marie Gannon

A bona fide earthling who finds some comfort in books, movies and coffee. Lots of coffee. Has several regrettable tattoos and her knowledge of horror movies is probably better than yours but she won't hold it against you; it's proof that she has way too much free time. Currently in limbo but manages to occasionally crawl out of it long enough to write for Geek Girl Authority.
Fallon Marie Gannon