Hello, horror fans! Welcome to this edition of Horror With a Side of Cheese. I am searching for the cheesiest genre films ever created. After looking around the world, through sub-genres and decades, I come here twice every month, to discuss my latest find. Then, I rate the movies on a scale of one to five cheese slices. Several factors go into the ratings including acting, story, effects, dialogue and re-watchability. In this edition, I present, the 2023 film, Mary Had a Little Lamb. Stick around to find out how many cheese slices this earned.
About Mary Had a Little Lamb
Following along the lines of recent films like Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey and The Mean One, this film is a horror reimagining of a classic children’s tale. This time, Mary and her little lamb are responsible for terrible things. A true crime podcaster whose ratings are flagging decides to take her team into the woods where two people recently disappeared. As they traipse through the forest, they come upon a small house. When the group arrives, the occupant, Mary, is happy to host them for the evening. She mentions her son, her little lamb, is upstairs asleep. Eventually, Mary’s son appears and he is ready to do some damage.
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Mary Had a Little Lamb stars Gaston Alexander, May Kelly, Harry Boxley, Gillian Broderick, Charlie Esquer, Christine Ann Nyland, Danielle Scott, Rob Kirtley and Mark Sears. Jason Arber directed the film and Harry Boxley wrote the story.
This film has a 20 percent Tomatometer Score and no Audience Score on Rotten Tomatoes. IMDb users give in 5.7/10.
My Thoughts
Out of the gate, I have to say, Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey is better. This is a hair above The Mean One, though, which I could barely get through due to boredom. It is difficult to know where to start, but the story seems like as good a place as any.
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This movie is a weird take on the old nursery rhyme. A woman lives in the woods with her son whom she calls her “little lamb.” Additionally, Mary keeps telling Carla that her son was born looking different from other boys and that he was the product of SA. When viewers see her son, he is the size of a man with the body of one, but his head looks like an oversized sheep and there is wool coming out of his shirt. One comment I saw online said it was supposed to be a guy in a mask, but I am certain it was supposed to be a sheep/man hybrid.
Of course, the “little lamb” is a murderous creature who does anything his mother says. So, when anyone wanders into their area of the woods, he takes them out, because “people wouldn’t understand.” Overall, the story could have been so much more, but there were missed opportunities. Also, a lamb person?
The dialogue is not particularly cheesy, but it is kind of terrible. I was ready to absolutely lose it if Carla had said “like” one more time. We are talking every other word. Way over the top. Do any real people speak that way? I feel like the writer went with a ridiculous stereotype of a young woman. That alone kept me from immersing in the story.
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There is not much to say about the effects. There is some blood that looks decent, but the only other effect is the lamb dude. Multiple times, during a fight scene, the ends of the mask the guy is wearing come loose and viewers briefly see them swinging. I am guessing this is why some people thought it was supposed to be a regular person in a mask. I may have thought that too, but there are other scenes that indicate it can’t be a mask in the movie’s world.
Finally, re-watchability. I will not be re-watching this one. I always encourage watching these movies for yourself, but go into this one with caution for boredom. It takes seemingly forever to get to the point. I am giving this one two cheese slices. If you want to watch Mary Had a Little Lamb, it is available to rent on most major digital platforms.
Have you seen this one? What did you think? If not, will you watch it? Let me know in the comments! Until next time, stay cheesy, stay spooky, and above all, watch more horror movies. Before you go, take a look at the Mary Had a Little Lamb trailer below.
https://www.geekgirlauthority.com/frankenstein-movie-review-original-vs-remake-horror/
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