For more than a year I’ve been doing a series of daily tweets. First tacos, then monkeys, then daily affirmations, then daily etiquette tips, then incorrect quotes, then fake TV shows, horoscopes, horror, writing tips, holiday tweets, resolution tweets, Hey Girl tweets, Urban Myth tweets, pastry tweets, and now amusingly boring tweets! This month went a little off the rails. Enjoy!
You can also follow me on Twitter to enjoy June’s series of Social Media tweets!
Day One – I saw a dog
Day Two – Orange Julius still exists
Day Three – Like a lot of people in America, I don’t own a pony
Day Four – Eating food!
Day Five – Jack Bauer has a gun and is often angry
Day Six – It’s still Tuesday
Day Seven – Einstein’s hair was big
Day Eight – Kinko’s has been called FedExOffice for a long time but everyone still calls it Kinko’s
Day Nine – Hot dogs are sometimes made of meats
Day Ten – I read a factual error on the internet and didn’t correct anyone
Day Eleven – I just had a thought I didn’t tweet but then I tweeted about not tweeting
Day Twelve – I’ve thought about James Franco three times today
Day Thirteen – I have 3000 opinions per second about Batman
Day Fourteen – A lot of people remember the 90s
Day Fifteen – Weather exists
Day Sixteen – You can fry eggs in pans or on streets if it’s hot and you want disgusting street eggs
Day Seventeen – Two people you know on twitter are talking about a TV show
Day Eighteen – I saw a Prius
Day Nineteen – Here Are Twenty Seven Fairly Normal Things. The Fifth One Will Make You Shrug Or Nod Maybe
Day Twenty – Someone posted a picture of a baby on Facebook
Day Twenty-One – I just saw a guy do a thing
Day Twenty-Two – Hugh Jackman plays Wolverine but he can also sing and dance and not kill people
Day Twenty-Three – I ate a burrito in 1997
Day Twenty-Four – This one time, I wasted my entire life looking at the Internet
Day Twenty-Five – Coca-cola is a drink made of sugar and acid that is sometimes advertised by polar bears
Day Twenty-Six – This one time I used my smartphone to call someone
Day Twenty-Seven – Charlie Brown has a dog and existential dread
Day Twenty-Eight – I just refreshed twitter 3000 times but I still don’t feel whole as a person
Day Twenty-Nine – Most pizza already has sauce on it but it also comes with dipping sauce people really like sauce
Day Thirty – Let’s do a kickstarter to make a sarcastic thing!
Day Thirty-One – I’ve put commas in weird places you, guys
Yours in existential boredom,
If you enjoy my work, you can check out all the comedy words and things I’m making via Patreon.
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