Welcome back to Magicians Monday, fellow Fillorians! If you eat, sleep and breathe The Magicians like I do, then this is the column for you. Each week, we’ll delve deeper into our favorite show about magic. Be sure to keep a glass of wine handy and your spell-casting fingers at the ready. We’ll be reveling in all things The Magicians until the season four premiere on January 23rd!

Now, I’m a huge proponent of “what ifs” and hypotheticals. It’s how my overly analytical brain functions. And what better way to channel that meticulously detail-oriented side of my brain than sorting The Magicians characters into Hogwarts houses? I’ve always viewed The Magicians as an adult version of Harry Potter. Would the Sorting Hat place Quentin in Gryffindor? Margo in Slytherin? Hey, we have to pass the time somehow while we impatiently wait for January 23rd.

Alright, let’s kick off this week’s festivities with a deep dive into Slytherin – Hogwarts’ most conflicted house. Here’s the official description of Slytherin from Pottermore:

Slytherin produces more than its share of Dark wizards, but also turns out leaders who are proud, ambitious and cunning. Merlin is one particularly famous Slytherin.

So, I think it’s safe to say that those who are associated with Slytherin are prideful, ambitious and cunning. They also “have a tendency to look after their own” according to the Pottermore WikiThe Magicians boasts quite a few formidable leaders possessing the aforementioned traits. Many trials on the show required ambition and cunning. Maneuvering Fillory through a precarious war! Freeing the fairies from captivity! Weaseling one’s way out of certain death! Time to slither on down to Slytherin, Fillorians (I’ll see myself out)…

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Slytherin

Eliot Waugh

Pictured: Hale Appleman

Now, who else would be the Slytherin poster boy? Eliot (Hale Appleman) may appear to be your stereotypical Slytherin…well, that’s because he is your stereotypical Slytherin. He possesses a cunning that’s unparalleled (Margo is a strong contender, though), an immense loyalty to his loved ones and a smattering of ego to match. Initially, I thought Eliot and Slytherin diverged as far as ambition was concerned. However, his character evolved over the past three seasons, as characters are wont to do. Eliot’s ambitious side reared its head when the position of High King was thrust upon him. He also has the bravery of a Gryffindor, and though Eliot can be prideful like his serpentine house, our former High King is selfless at his core. He looks after his own. 

Remember Eliot’s cleverly fought battle against the King of Loria (who later became his husband)? Or his ambitious political campaign as he sought reelection in Fillory? Eliot has the very makings of a smooth-talking politician. I’d vote for him. All hail the Champagne King!

The Fairy Queen 

Pictured: Candis Cayne

The Fairy Queen (Candis Cayne) reminds me of Severus Snape: misunderstood to the highest degree. While she did make Eliot and Margo’s lives miserable, the Fairy Queen was merely protecting her people. She possessed a sharp tongue and spoke in eloquent riddles. She was cunning, which is a common characteristic of fairies. Her ambition kicked into high gear when she fought to free her kin, and when she sought to make the fairies a relevant staple in Fillorian society. 

Now, everyone (myself included) thought the Fairy Queen was an antagonist, a “Big Bad” meant to square off against our heroes. However, like Snape, we discovered at the end of her arc that she was a heroine all along. She sacrificed herself so her fairies could roam free sans the fear of slaughter. An incredibly selfless act for a regular muggle, let alone a queen. Long live the Fairy Queen!

Marina Andrieski 

Pictured: Kacey Rohl

Would Slytherin be complete without Marina (Kacey Rohl)? Methinks not. Of course, Marina is a “rough around the edges” hedge witch with a bone to pick as far as Brakebills is concerned. She’s prideful, egotistical and cunning – the very embodiment of Slytherin. We all found it difficult to root for her when, at face value, Marina seemed so spiteful. However, you peel back the layers of the Marina onion and you’ll discover a girl that’s fought tooth and nail to protect herself. She’s gone through the ringer post-Brakebills expulsion, and merely seeks to expand her magical horizons just like any magician. 

Now, Marina’s cunning came into play when she would incessantly shed Brakebills of its intricate wards to gain access to the college’s spells. It takes a lot of clever, off the beaten path thinking to jailbreak a heavily guarded place like Brakebills. If I ever plan to rob a bank I’ll be sure to enlist her services. 

Well, that’s a wrap on the Slytherin sorting session! These three are exemplary members of their house, and I’ve no doubt they’ll make Salazar Slytherin proud.

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Be sure to stick around, Fillorians, as we continue chugging along on The Magicians train! Next week for Magicians Monday, I’ll present you with my picks for Ravenclaw. Which characters from The Magicians would wind up in this house? So, don’t forget that glass of wine, your best b***h and your wittiest of one-liners. I solemnly swear Mondays will be magical. Here’s to no longer dreading the start of the week, Fillorians.

 

 

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