Life goes on for everyone on Lucifer. In “Daniel Espinoza: Naked and Afraid,” a day in the life of Dan Espinoza (Kevin Alejandro) goes from ordinary to chaotic real fast. Poor Dan.

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Daniel Espinoza is a pretty basic dude. He gets up in the morning, has a cup of coffee, works out on his exercise bike, and heads to work. And then Lucifer (Tom Ellis) picks on him but now things have changed. Dan knows Luci is the Devil and says it feels like Ghengis Khan or Darth Vader is messing with him. Luci is offended by being compared to villains. He tells Daniel not to ask him for any favors. 

Chloe (Lauren German) tells Lucifer to give Dan some time but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t care what Daniel does. He wants to start working and bring in some bad guys. There’s only one bad guy or girl to bring in and that criminal is in Mexico. The precinct needs to send someone to extradite the prisoner to LA. Luci looks at Dan with a mischievous smile. 

Dan agrees to go to Mexico. Chloe is a little concerned because the officer that Dan has to meet is his old friend Luis Navarro (Wilmer Calderon). Luis is trouble, so Chloe tells Dan to be careful. Dan says he has everything under control. Famous last words.

Dan meets Luis, but there was an issue with the prisoner transfer paperwork, so he has to wait another day. Luis gets Dan drunk and asks him to join him in a business venture. He sells fake crystals to rich ladies in LA. The crystals are rocks. Dan refuses and Luis is okay with that. Luis’ friend Benito (Mario Rocha) joins them and they start drinking tequila. Bad idea Dan! 

LUCIFER MADE ME DO IT

The next morning, Dan wakes up naked and afraid. Benito is laying next to him, dead. Dan freaks out wants to call the cops, but Luis stops him. He says he knows who killed Benito. Luis admits that he’s in some trouble with the Russian mafia. They killed Benito to send a message. Luis owes them money so he asks Dan to take it to them. Dan refuses at first, but Luis says the mafia will come after his family if he doesn’t get the money to them. Dan gives in because he’s a good friend. 

On the way back to LA, the prisoner, Camila (Chelsea Rendon) asks a lot of questions about the box and talks about how God changed her life. Dan can only laugh because he’s met God. He says God is not who she thinks he is. And to be careful, because life will blindside you at any moment. A truck runs into Dan’s car, knocking him out.

When Dan wakes up, Camila is gone, the box is gone, and he has spray paint on his forehead. The gang Los X’s t-boned the car and tagged it. A car approaches and stops for Dan. It’s Ryan (Adam Kulbersh) and Kevin (Chris Yonan) from Improve class. They ask Dan if he needs any help. He asks for a ride back to LA and jumps in the car. Dan goes to Lucifer to ask for a favor and the Devil is amused.

Dan explains that he lost his prisoner and the box he was supposed to deliver to the Russians. He needs to get the box back because lives are at stake. Dan knows where the gang hangs out and asks Lucifer to help him. Luci agrees to help, but only if they do things his way.

BONDING WITH LUCIFER

Dan breaks into the Los X bike shop as Lucifer enters the bike shop to purchase a motorbike. But they only sell bicycles. While Luci bonds with Camila and the shop employees over their “dad” issues, Dan works on picking a lock off of a gated cage where the box is stored. 

Dan hears someone else come in and hides. That guy picks the lock and grabs the box. Dan waits for him with his gun in hand and takes the box from the dude. He tells the guy to handcuff himself to a gate. The guy says Dan is making a big mistake, but Dan thinks he’s correcting one and runs away. Once outside, he encounters a guard dog.

Lucifer’s therapy session ends with him telling everyone to love themselves so they can love others. That’s when they hear the dog barking and they want to check it out. Lucifer tries to keep them in the shop so Dan can get away. But then Dan runs into the shop with the box. The jig is up. Camila recognizes Dan. Luci tells Dan to run and he will take care of the bike staff. Dan takes a bike and rides away.

As he’s riding, Dan notices the box is bleeding. He doesn’t see the car in front of him and crashes. Dan rolls over the hood of the car and Benito’s head falls out of the box. Luis shows up with a group of guys and picks it up. He says Dan should never look in the box and then they knock him out.

GOOD COP, BAD COP

Dan wakes up in his apartment with Luis wondering why he only has Kombucha to drink. Dan finds out what’s going on. Luis is in a war with the Russians. Benito was his bookkeeper who betrayed him by working with the Russians, so he killed him. He sent a message, the head, through Dan so he could control Dan or turn him in for transporting human remains across crime syndicates.

 Luis heard that the box was stolen from Dan and sent a guy to recover it. That guy was also supposed to kill the Russian’s bookkeeper and now he’s telling Dan to do it. Dan refuses, but Luis has the upper hand. He injected Ayquina neurotoxin into Dan’s neck. Dan has 10 hours to live unless he kills the bookkeeper, then Luis will give him the antidote.

Dan goes to Ella (Aimee Garcia) for help … not with the poison but to set up the perfect crime scene for a fake murder. What a coincidence, because Ella is working on a novel where her character does exactly that! And she talks to ghosts, but it’s way more complicated than most ghost stories.  Anyway, Dan has nine and a half hours to pull this off. 

Dan goes to a house by the lake where Svetlana (Julia Emelin), the Russian bookkeeper lives. He knocks on the door and goes inside but makes the mistake of telling her that he’s there to kill her. Then he tells her that they are going to fake her death. Svetlana acts like she’s playing along, but she gets really scared.  She hits him in the head with a baseball bat.

IN THE ARMS OF AN ANGEL 

Dan wakes up still in Svetlana’s house and jumps up. His bag and his car are gone. Dan calls the one person who can help him. Amenadiel (D. B. Woodside) shows up in a flash. The angel can see that Dan is in some kind of trouble and wants to help. Dan says he can figure it out, but for now, he needs Amenadiel to fly him home. Amenadiel agrees and Dan jumps in his arms.

Mazikeen (Lesley-Ann Brandt) is at Dan’s apartment when he gets home. She heard he was spinning out of control and she wanted to see it for herself. He starts laughing and crying at the same time. This is the worst day of his life and he keeps getting knocked out. That can’t be good. Maze asks him what’s going on. He doesn’t want to tell her, but she’s a demon. He only asks that she doesn’t laugh.

Dan’s story makes Maze laugh, mostly about the part where Amenadiel carried Dan home. Maze comes up with a plan to get Dan the antidote. She is going to contact the Russians to set up a meeting so Dan can pretend to set up Luis. Dan is going to set up a meeting with Luis. No one gets hurt, they give Luis to the Russians and Dan lives. Oh, and Dan’s name is now Joe Stone. 

The Russian crime boss Andrei (Arthur Darbinyan) is all in, but questions Joe Stone’s identity. And it doesn’t help that Linda (Rachael Harris) shows up and calls Dan by his real name. Dan rushes to talk to Linda. He tells her to hit him and she doesn’t hesitate. Linda realizes that Dan is undercover. Dan returns to the Russians, followed by Linda. She throws a drink in his face for good measure. Joe Stone tells Andrei that Linda is his mistress and she’s crazy. They buy it and they like Joe better for it. 

PRIVATE PARTY

Lucifer closes Lux for a private party so Dan can conduct his business. He put everything in place and says the plan will work perfectly. Dan thanks Luci for having his back but the devil won’t be there. He has a history with the Russians. Maze won’t be there for a while so Dan has no one to back him up. Luci says the only backup he needs is people who know how to act tough. This is why he hired Ryan and his improv troop. 

Shortly after Ryan and his guys show up, Luis shows up. Dan asks for the antidote, but Luis wants proof of death first. Maze shows up with Svetlana. She wants to give her to Luis so Dan can get the antidote and Luis can kill the bookkeeper himself. The Russians arrive, ready to save Svetlana. It’s a stand-off now. Everyone pulls their guns. 

Dan loses it and starts yelling at everybody. He can’t believe all of this crazy stuff is happening. He tries to talk everyone down from killing each other, telling them to do what best for everyone. Everyone lowers their guns until Camila and her bicycle gang show up. Ryan steps up and starts acting like he’s ready to fight Camilla. He raises his gun and Camila’s gang shoots him. And Dan freaks out.

All four gangs start shooting at each other. Luis jumps on a chair to lay down and shoot, dropping the antidote. Maze grabs Dan and tells him to grab the vial. It keeps getting kicked around though, so Dan is crawling all over the floor. Everyone gets shot. Someone even falls off the balcony. Luis, Dan, and Maze are the only ones left standing. Dan picks the antidote, but Luis shoots it. He points his gun at Dan and says adios. Maze jumps in front of Dan, taking the bullet for him in the chest. Andrei is still alive and shoots Luis. Everyone is dead, but Dan.

DAN ESPINOZA: NAKED AND AFRAID

Dan starts crying. Lucifer returns and is shocked by everything he sees. Dan says he was trying to help. Luci says when you try to do the right thing, others end up getting shot. Wait what? Ryan starts laughing and sits up. Maze laughs at the look on Dan’s face. Everyone sits up and starts clapping. The whole thing was fake. Dan looks so confused that he looks crazy so Luci takes a selfie with him.

Luis apologizes, but Lucifer offered him a lot of money, so he had to do it. Andrei hugs Dan, saying that was the most fun he’s ever had. He even invites Dan to his wedding. Camila and her crew just laugh at Dan. Everyone had fun but Dan. Even the dog was in on it.  Who wasn’t in on the prank? Amenadiel, Linda, Ella, and Chloe. Dan is distraught because he thought Maze was dead. She says she wouldn’t take a bullet for him … at least not in the chest. 

Lucifer spent $5,004,157 just to prank Dan and he says it was worth it. He says the hardest part was keeping Chloe out of it. She would have seen right through it because she’s a detective. So is Dan, but he’s predictable. Dan doesn’t think Luci can predict his every decision, but Luci knows two things about Dan. He knows Dan never gives up and he always tries to do the right thing. Dan thanks Lucifer. He says he’s been in a weird place for a while and he’s over it. Lucifer helped him. But that’s not why Lucifer did it. He did it because Dan shot him.  

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Noetta Harjo
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