Why, hello there! Welcome to another Love, Victor recap. Last time, Isa (Ana Ortiz) decided to set her son, Victor (Michael Cimino), up with a gay kid from church, Nick (Nico Greetham). Just ’cause they’re both gay. Lucky for her, there was a spark. And some front-seat canoodling.
In Season 3 Episode 4, “You Up?”, those hookups continue … but at what cost?
As this is a recap, it’s got more spoilers than Victor has storylines about being gay. You’ve been warned.
“So far, all I’ve got is: Must have toilets.”
Love, Victor opens, again, on Victor in bed. He gets a late-night text from Nick that can only mean one thing. Wow. In the way that only horny teens can be, these boys are brave with all their car-based hookups.
Hookup. Rinse. Repeat. Until Victor asks Nick on a date. Nick did not think that’s what this arrangement was. On top of that, Victor is not the only person with whom this car is familiar.
I envy Nick’s energy.
The next morning, at Lake House, Georgina (Leslie Grossman, queen of playing iffy moms), walks in on Lake (Bebe Wood) and Mia (Rachel Hilson) getting ready. She calls them the prettiest girls in Creekwood. Even if Lake is wearing a lumpy old sweater.
Georgina needs a posse for some posh event she needs to attend. Lake begs off, since she’s gotta finish a homework assignment about building a utopia. She volunteers Mia.
After a few more jabs straight to Lake’s heart, Georgina leaves and Mia asks her bff what gives. Well, Lake doesn’t want to be harassed about her body or asked about boys.
Ah. Lake hasn’t come out to her mom nor does she plan on doing so. Makes sense, given how utterly awful that woman is.
“I’m a grower, not a shower.”
At school, Rahim (Anthony Keyvan) tells Victor about the whole tutoring Benji (George Sear) sitch. Victor doesn’t mind, but (unnecessarily) warns Rahim that Benji’s not exactly Rahim’s number one fan. Rahim’s pretty sure he can win Benji over with his math wizardry.
That night, Victor texts Nick for a hookup. They do it under Nick’s little sister’s playhouse. Lol. When is Nick getting with other people? And you mean to tell me the Salazars are suddenly just cool with Victor popping out at random hours of the night?
Meanwhile, Pilar (Isabella Ferreira) and Felix (Anthony Turpel) are telling each other goodnight, in that long, lingering way. Alas, the stairwell is probably not the stealthiest place for that. Mando (James Martinez) sees them. At home, he asks Isa if friends cup each other’s faces, along with a grabby physical demonstration
At first, Isa poo-poos Mando’s theory about #Pelax, as she takes some Silk® plant milk out of her grocery bag (product placements always make me lol). But then, the parents Salazar realize that Pilar’s recent affectionate happiness towards them may indeed be Felix-related.
“If you absolutely have to have a baby, you should definitely hire a surrogate.”
While clothes shopping, Georgina takes some friendly chatter about Mia’s family as an opportunity to body shame pregnant people. Then, Georgina asks Mia if she has reason to worry about Lake. Gulp.
Georgina is worried because Lake has been so cagey with her of late. Is she on drugs? No, says Mia, Lake’s just happy. Georgina comments on the irony of how she’d planned on being close with her daughter, considering her own mother referred to her as her “Chardonnay Surprise.” Yikes.
At the coffee shop, Rahim tries to butter Benji up with some croissants and coffee. Benji’s not interested; he knows Rahim doesn’t like him. He proposes they just get on with the calculus (Oh, but Benji, don’t you know what they say about calc?)
Rahim acquiesces, but has one more point to make first. There are only three other out gay guys are their school, maybe the two of them could
kiss and make up? Benji softens for a second, but then bristles again when he realizes that Rahim told Victor that he needs tutoring.
“First of all, congratulations on what you’re packing.”
Back at the Casa Salazar, Felix wants all the details about Victor’s “wanton, lusty affair” with Nick. Victor is more than happy to share. He loves this casual thing. He can do whatever he wants, whenever, with whomever … Uh-oh. Something’s itchy down there.
Relax, it’s probably just poison ivy. Still, it’s disconcerting to Victor and Felix (who can’t help but look). Felix figures they have two options: a) send highly illegal phones to their sex-ed teacher or b) go to a free clinic. Luckily, those still exist in Georgia.
Over at the Lake House, Mia’s back from shopping, and Lake wonders if she needs to borrow her therapist’s number. Mia laughs. Georgina wasn’t that bad. Plus, she does wish she and Lake were closer. Lake points out that her mom also wishes Harry Styles were older so she had a chance with him.
Mia urges Lake to come out. She’s sure Georgina will be supportive. Lake’s annoyed that Mia thinks she suddenly knows her mom after one afternoon.
Next, we’re back at Casa Salazar, where Adrian (Mateo Fernandez) makes his blip of an appearance for the episode before being sent away. Isa and Mando want to talk to Pilar about Felix. They accuse her of lying. She says she didn’t lie; she just didn’t tell them.
All this time, the parents Salazar believed Felix and Pilar were in her room — with the door closed (😱) — doing goodness knows what. Pilar assures them they’re not having sex. This doesn’t appease her parents.
Mando calls her a liar, in Spanish, so we know it’s serious. Pilar bites back about Mando’s extreme over-protectiveness. Ugh. I don’t even want to call it over-protectiveness. Showing boys your knife collection, making them pee their pants — that’s abusive. Mando sends Pilar to her room. Isa doesn’t say anything.
“Not really a phone guy. Can you just text?”
At the free clinic, Victor is wearing a very comely hospital gown. He calls Nick, who doesn’t pick up. Victor doesn’t wanna have this convo over sext.
The doctor (Andrew Leeds) comes into the room and when Victor says he’s feeling embarrassed, the doctor assures him he shouldn’t be. Victor’s doing the responsible thing by getting tested. His urine and blood have been sent for analysis and now it’s time for the fun questions!
How many sexual partners does Victor have?
Oh Victor, please get thee to a therapist, signed someone who also doesn’t do well with breakups. You see, he tells the doc that while he’s monogamous, his partner isn’t. Something he only agreed to because he didn’t want to get his heart broken again.
Do they use condoms? Nope, because they don’t have sex-sex, just everything but (or, as Victor unfortunately puts it, “butt”). The doctor takes a look at Victor’s nether regions and says, “oh dear.” Oh dear, indeed.
Some things I want to add:
- Oral and digital sex are still sex and carry risks.
- I’m glad the doctor seemed unfazed about queer sex. That’s not a given. But…
- He could have phrased his question about sexual partners better, ’cause Benji should have come up.
“Please don’t talk to me like I’m five years old” / “OK. Fine. What’s the limit, dumb a**?”
Speaking of Benji, we’re back to the tutoring session from Gay Hell. Rahim keeps asking Benji to find the limit. Y’all, I never took calculus. I’m just as lost as Benji. Math is homophobic. Or, maybe not, since Benji gets the answer right.
Then, things get sad. FYI, I won’t be recapping this particular storyline too deeply. Elements of it hit close to home and, consequently, it’s a little triggering. Essentially, Rahim’s uncle is in town and his parents have asked him play straight for the duration of his uncle’s visit. Rahim’s family in Iran can’t find out he’s gay.
Next, Felix and Victor are in the clinic waiting room. And hahah! Called it! Poison ivy. Victor’s relieved, but not elated. If he and Benji were still together, this wouldn’t have happened, and even if it had, they’d be facing it together.
Felix’s phone rings. Pilar’s panicked that her dad will forbid her from seeing the guy she loves. Whoops. But, the L-word slip’s all good. Felix loves her, too. He tells her they’ll talk to her parents together.
“My mom told me I looked like a bagpipe, and I never wore it again.”
Back at the Lake House, Mia tells Lake it’s strange to be fighting when they live together. Mia apologizes for pressuring Mia and tells her she’s always on Lake’s side. She just got swept up in having a mom-figure take interest in her.
Lake’s not even made at Mia, she’s mad at her mom. She wants to tell her about Lucy (Ava Capri), but she cannot. The more Lake likes something, the more Georgina criticizes it. She poisons everything. Mia suggests maybe Lake should be talking to her mom about that.
At the coffeeshop, Benji apologizes to Rahim for his general jerkitude. He’s just been overwhelmed because everyone around him sees him as this total failure. He hasn’t even told his parents about his grades. They bond a bit.
Meanwhile, at Casa Salazar, Mando is getting ready to take Pilar’s door off its hinges. Isa tells him not to, ’cause their daughter has a point. She isn’t a little girl anymore and she’s gonna have boyfriends. Isa thinks they should be grateful she’s dating Felix.
Look. All you parents out there, you owe your children, you don’t own them.
Mando asks Pilar to come talk. She looks terrified. Mando tells her could have handled things differently, but he doesn’t apologize. Pilar tells her parents that Felix had wanted to come clean several times, but it was she who wanted to hide it.
It’s real, though; they love each other. Mando’s OK with it, but no more secrets. Felix arrives. He apologizes and says he’s grounded himself, but then hugs them when he finds out they’re on board.
That night, Victor gets another sext from Nick. He calls and leaves a message for Nick. He wants more and it’s cool that Nick doesn’t, but it’s not working for Victor anymore.
“It’s gonna take me a minute to unlearn.”
Over in Lake’s kitchen, Georgina walks in just to tell Lake not to slouch. It’s the last straw. She asks her mom why she criticizes everything about her. Georgina is surprised. She didn’t even realize she was doing it. She apologizes.
Thing is, Georgina reads the comments about her news pieces. Nine times out of ten they aren’t about her reporting, but rather about her appearance. OMG. Never read the comments, Georgina. She was trying to save Lake from similar bullying, but now realizes she was her daughter’s bully. HALLELUJAH!
She tells Lake she is perfect and any boy would be lucky to have her. Weird flex, but OK. I mean, obviously that was just a very clunky segue to get Lake to come out, but Love, Victor usually has smoother writing. Anyway, Georgina takes it amazingly well, though she immediately asks for a label. Lake doesn’t know yet.
At school, Victor watches as Rahim and Benji hug in celebration of the latter’s A- on his calc test. Victor downloads Grindr (or some in-show version of it). BAHAHAH.
We end on Isa cleaning up Pilar’s room only to find her birth control pills.
That’s it for, “You Up?” How are y’all feeling about Mando’s behavior? Did you like Georgina’s apology? Are we good with how the STI storyline played out? So many plot threads to process! Luckily, we don’t have to wait! See you in the next recap!
Parenting quip of the ep: “Today at breakfast, do you know what she said to me? ‘Good morning!'”
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