DISCLAIMER: This recap of Letterkenny episode “Scorched Earth” contains spoilers. If you haven’t watched the episode, well … get at’er!

Kids, when a Gailer lusts after Jimmy Dickens, sparks fly. So do rumors. “Scorched Earth” is all about the birds and the bees, which is Letterkenny‘s bread and butter. The gossip chain is fortified when Gail and resident auctioneer extraordinaire Jimmy Dickens begin to knock boots. As someone who grew up in a small town, this episode resonated with me. Your business was everyone’s business, and I think Letterkenny captured that aspect of small-town life perfectly with this episode. 

Time to quit dillydallying. Let’s jump right into “Scorched Earth.” 

The plot!

This episode boasts an excellent cold open. Wayne (Jared Keeso) learns that his ex-girlfriend Angie has just returned from an extended trip abroad. Daryl (Nathan Dales) informs him of her newly adopted accent from said trip. Wayne, Daryl and Squirrelly Dan (K. Trevor Wilson) proceed to poke fun at folks who change their lifestyles and vernacular after visiting other countries. It’s so on the nose it hurts. Side note: Keeso’s British accent is superb, and I love how it transforms throughout this bit. 

Next, we see Katy (Michelle Mylett), Rosie (Clark Backo) and Bonnie McMurray (Kamilla Kowal) hitting up the club. Later, she returns home to tell the boys about the bevy of dates she has planned for the day. “Scorched-earth, boys,” she explains. Apparently, Katy’s previous date had a smelly issue in that he smelled. Of course, this leads to Daryl, Dan and Wayne debating why this guy reeked. Katy leaves to go on her next date. 

Then, at MoD3an’s, Reilly (Dylan Playfair), Jonesy (Andrew Herr), Ron (James Daly) and Dax (Gregory Waters) are dishing about their cartoon crushes. Ron and Dax ponder over what it would be like to boink Fred Flintstone, while Reilly really has a thing for Ariel the mermaid. Glen (Jacob Tierney) inadvertently reveals that Gail is doing some horizontal tangoing of her own with none other than Jimmy Dickens. Thus, the rumor mill begins to churn. 

Meanwhile, Katy returns from another stinker of a first date. This time, the dude had poorly kept teeth. Bad hygiene is a turn-off. However, the boys muse whether not having perfectly straight teeth is a non-starter. It is for Katy, but not to worry — she’s got another date lined up. 

Still of K. Trevor Wilson, Jared Keeso and Nathan Dales in Letterkenny episode "Kids with Problems."

Letterkenny — “Scorched Earth” – Episode 903 — Katy takes her “Scorched-earth” dating policy to town. Dan (K. Trevor Wilson), Wayne (Jared Keeso), Daryl (Nathan Dales), shown. (Photo By Amanda Matlovich)

Next, Stewart (Tyler Johnston) and Roald (Evan Stern) join Reilly and co. in a salacious gossip session. Now, the whole of Letterkenny knows about Gail and Jimmy. But that’s not all! Jimmy is purported to have quite the impressive unit, which leads to speculation regarding, um, size. They notice that everyone in MoD3an’s is talking about it. Katy is back from her last date, which also flopped miserably. This time? Homeboy liked to scratch the family jewels while in public. They receive texts about Gail and Jimmy, and they make a beeline for the pub. 

At MoD3an’s, Wayne and his crew are chatting it up with fellow bar patrons. Gail (Lisa Codrington) makes her triumphant appearance and she eagerly confirms that Jimmy is blessed in the downstairs department. Speaking of which, our favorite auctioneer (Alex McCooeye) also appears. He gives Gail flowers and she ushers him away with the prospect of free booze. Ah, love. 

Katy is trying to date local, but she realizes that Letterkenny men are all duds. The episode ends with Angie (Kalinka Petrie) entering the bar with her newly acquired accent from traveling. Everyone is clearly irked and they tell her off. As they should.

Joke highlights!

Obviously, the cold open is classic Letterkenny. I love that they managed to circle back to that opening with the last scene. Even the final line of the cold open is repeated: “Pull your finger out of your ass!” “To be fair” never gets old. Glen’s attempts to remain mum regarding Gail’s liaison and ultimately failing because he’s a gossiper are hysterical. Especially when he lashes out at everyone else for goading him on, but they’re just listening. Tierney may be my MVP for “Scorched Earth” for those scenes alone. 

Also, the phrase “Must be f*cking nice!” makes a comeback. Reilly, Jonesy, Ron and Dax confessing their cartoon crushes is all too relatable. In fact, I’ve had that exact same discussion with a friend of mine as we divulged what animated characters played a role in our “sexual awakening.” “How’re ya now?” “Good, ‘n you?” are Letterkenny mega lines. I like that the after-date bits with Katy happen three times in the episode. You know, because comedy comes in threes. I dig the rhyming in those scenes as well. Very poetic, if I do say so myself. Letterkenny is like modern-day Shakespeare as far as I’m concerned. But way dirtier. 

Lastly, I’d be remiss if I left out the colorful comparisons for Jimmy Dickens’ dickens. 

Still of Jared Keeso in Letterkenny episode "Kids with Problems."

Letterkenny — “Scorched Earth” – Episode 903 — Katy takes her “Scorched-earth” dating policy to town. Wayne (Jared Keeso), shown. (Photo By Amanda Matlovich)

RELATED: Letterkenny Recap: (S09E02) Kids With Problems

That’s a Texas-sized 10-4, good buddy!

Overall, “Scorched Earth” is a terrific outing. It really feels like Letterkenny. True, pure and unadulterated. The good stuff. If you don’t like this episode then you don’t like me, and I suggest you let that one marinate. 

Be sure to stick around as I continue to recap Letterkenny, here on Geek Girl Authority. 

Letterkenny Season Nine is available to stream on Hulu. 



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