DISCLAIMER: This recap of the Kevin Can F Himself episode “We’re Selling Washing Machines” is laden with spoilers. You’ve been warned. Proceed at your own peril.
Welcome back, underestimated sitcom wives! Kevin Can F Himself works to establish a deeper relationship between Allison and Patty as the pair bond over drugs. As far as I’m concerned, Annie Murphy and Mary Hollis Inboden are driving this ship. Both of them imbue their characters with equal parts nuance and searing vulnerability. The sitcom elements blend well with their real-world counterparts.
While I’m still questioning whether or not the sitcom aspects are figments of Allison’s imagination or simply a part of her reality, Kevin Can F Himself is breaking barriers with its takedown of middle-aged, white male-led sitcoms.
Ready to delve into “We’re Selling Washing Machines”? Let’s get to it.
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Now, we open with a flashback from four years prior. Once again, Kevin (Eric Petersen) and Neil (Alex Bonifer) are embroiled in their usual shenanigans. Patty (Hollis Inboden) steps out on the porch to light a cigarette. The vibrant, almost oversaturated sitcom colors fade away to the bleak, dismal hues of reality.
Later, Patty stops at the pharmacy to fill a prescription for Neil. The pharmacist subtly hints at his overabundant supply of “generics,” just in case Patty needs more drugs. Clearly, this dude is operating a drug ring in the town pharmacy.
Next, Patty is at her salon cutting a regular customer’s hair. The said customer is lamenting about her sciatic nerve troubles, and how much pain she’s in. Patty mulls over the pharmacist and his offer. Perhaps there’s money in this after all. Plus, she could be helping people. Thus, The Drug Salon is born.
Then, we’re back in the present. Allison (Murphy) is standing in front of Patty. Patty knows what Allison means when she says she wants a “wash.” However, what does a goody two-shoes like Allison want with drugs? Patty urges her to come back on Monday when she’ll be fully restocked. Allison is elated. Now she can kill Kevin!
Later, Allison jovially bursts into Bev’s Diner to find Sam (Raymond Lee) hard at work. She apologizes for how she behaved the other night. Oh, and she’ll pay for all of her previous cups of coffee. Sam accepts her apology and invites her to his AA meeting. Why? Because he’s about to receive his chip for being eight years sober. He also wants to make amends with her. Allison eagerly accepts the invite.
Meanwhile, one of Patty’s customers wanders into her salon asking for a “wash.” Patty pulls her aside and discloses her shortage situation. She won’t have anything until Monday. This particular customer isn’t satisfied with that answer.
Next, Allison comes home to find Kevin and Neil making chili. But not all is sunshine and roses — there’s trouble in bromance paradise. After a brief spat, the dynamic duo decides to part ways and concoct their own chilis, much to Allison’s dismay.
Later, Patty runs into Allison, who’s scarfing down a cheeseburger on the porch. Allison finally gets confirmation for something she’s suspected for quite some time: Patty loathes Kevin and Neil. They can bond over their hatred of them! Patty heads to her house to eat a salad with her boyfriend, Kurt (Sean Clements). He’s really into healthy eating and Ray Donovan right now. Patty doesn’t look happy.
Then, the following day, Allison wakes up to Kevin’s beaming mug. He’s got a surprise in store for her later. Of course, we know that she’s attending Sam’s meeting that night. After Kevin departs, we see Allison continue to spiral as the sitcom world evaporates, leaving only the muted colors of reality in its wake. Kevin Can F Himself excels at these transitions.
Next, Allison goes to the salon for an actual salon experience. Patty curls Allison’s hair as the pair dish about their lives. We learn that Allison and Sam never actually dated. In fact, they were friends with benefits who worked together. She clearly harbors feelings for him, despite both of them being married to other people. Patty complains about Kurt’s healthy eating kick.
Allison arrives home to quite the sight — Kevin brought a pig carcass into the house. It’s for his chili. Allison’s all dolled up for Sam’s meeting. Unfortunately, Kevin inadvertently spills chili on her nice dress. Meanwhile, Patty and Kurt are having a healthy dinner. Patty can’t take it anymore. She has an outburst, and tells Kurt that she wants “real food.” Let’s get chimichangas!
Then, we see Allison attending Sam’s meeting in the same stained dress. She surreptitiously covers it with her jacket. While the duo is sitting, Allison snakes her leg behind his. The two exchange a charged glance. The sparks are flying! Sam is introduced and lauded for his eight-year sobriety. He gives a speech.
Later, Sam’s wife, Jenn (Meghan Leathers), arrives after the meeting. She looks like Allison. In fact, they could be sisters. So, Sam has a type. Jenn notes that Allison has a bean in her hair. Allison awkwardly pretends to eat it, then awkwardly leaves. We’ve all been there.
Next, Allison heads home. Kevin’s asleep in their backyard while standing watch over the pig, which is cooking on a spit. She snoozes next to him. When morning comes, Kevin realizes that his pig is too cooked. It’s entirely burnt. Allison suggests that he toss the pig and make vegetarian chili instead. The nerve! How dare you suggest that to a New Englander?
Now, we see a pair of cops talking to the ogling mechanic. Earlier, Allison called the police on him after he taunted her. She claimed that he was selling drugs to elementary school kids. However, the ogling mechanic asserts that he’s innocent. Instead, he shifts the blame to the town pharmacist, who also happens to be Patty’s supplier.
Suddenly, a slew of policemen raids the pharmacy and carts the pharmacist off in handcuffs. Patty and Kurt are both present for this. While they’re sitting on the curb outside, Kurt seizes the opportunity to propose to Patty. You know, because they both experienced a brush with “death.” It’s unclear if Patty says yes.
Later, Allison barges into the salon. It’s Monday. Unfortunately, since the pharmacist was arrested, Patty’s supply is completely dry. Nada. Allison won’t accept this as a viable answer. She suggests that they go out for “real food” and discuss this. Perhaps there’s something they can do.
Next, both women come up with a solution to the Kevin/Neil issue. They bring the best bros back together again. With Neil’s meat supply and Kevin’s paltry vegetarian chili, they’ll be an unstoppable force! Allison’s stress is at least somewhat assuaged.
Then, Allison and Patty are on the back porch. Kevin hasn’t removed the burnt pig carcass. Methinks he expects Allison to do it. Patty inquires as to why Allison wants drugs. She reveals that Patty’s truth bomb regarding her money sent her in a downward spiral. Allison tells Patty about the time she blacked out and stole oxy from a guy named Jason. This is the same story that Sam regales the crowd with at his AA meeting.
Now, Patty discloses that she may have a solution. She has a contact in Vermont. Patty wants Allison to go with her. Girls trip (for drugs)!
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Kevin Can F Himself is a bit of a slow burn, but I’m intrigued enough to keep watching. There are only eight episodes in this season, so I’m curious to see if Allison actually makes an effort to kill Kevin. I think if the show lags or waits too long that folks may lose interest. That’s essentially this series’ premise — a “sitcom” wife wants to get rid of her boorish husband. If Kevin Can F Himself abandons that altogether, it might lose steam.
Plus, it needs to address the sitcom elephant in the room at some point. While it’s certainly an interesting aspect that makes this show stand out from the rest, we need a concrete mythology here. Is this a mental projection courtesy of Allison? Can Patty see it too? Or does it merely serve as a metaphor? My money’s on the latter.
Regardless, the Allison/Patty relationship keeps me invested. Now they’re going on a drugs road trip! Maybe Allison will utilize that time to divulge her grand murder plan.
New episodes of Kevin Can F Himself are available to stream on AMC Plus and air Sundays at 9 pm on your AMC affiliate.
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