RELATED: This recap of the Kevin Can F Himself episode “The Grand Victorian” is riddled with spoilers. You’ve been warned. Proceed at your own peril.
Welcome back, jaded sitcom characters! We’re only two episodes away from the Kevin Can F Himself finale. “The Grand Victorian” propels the narrative forward in the right direction. It significantly moves the needle as far as Allison’s objective to kill Kevin is concerned. Allison and Patty strike a deal with Nick, the unhinged drug dealer who was following Patty around in the previous episode. Patty goes on a date with Tammy. Kevin attempts to attend two birthday dinners at once.
Ready to delve into “The Grand Victorian”? Let’s get to it.
Now, we open with Allison (Murphy) and Patty (Hollis Inboden) sitting with Nick (Robin Lord Taylor). Remember when Patty suggested last week that they hire someone to brutally murder Kevin? Well, who better than the volatile dude who killed his stepdad and got away with it?
He agrees to do it. Patty tells him that they’ll pay him seven grand in cash, and the bottle of oxycodone is the down payment. Allison hands Nick a photo of Kevin. Nick orders them to refrain from contacting him. They’ll know when it’s done.
Next, Allison purchases a massage chair for Kevin. It’s his birthday, and they’re going to The Grand Victorian for his special dinner. Every year, Kevin attends dinner with Allison while simultaneously hitting up Tricky Ricky’s Fun Zone, an arcade, with Neil and Pete. He’ll use the excuse of getting something out of his car and surreptitiously head over to the arcade. Both buildings are situated next to each other. Patty is bewildered to learn that Allison always knew about this.
Allison doesn’t mind Kevin sneaking around. This gives her peace and quiet, so she can enjoy a meal and a book all by herself. Patty claims she’s having a night in with a movie. Then, we see Allison at Bev’s Diner. She’s in the back room with Sam (Raymond Lee) getting her freak on. Enjoying her tryst with her new boss.
Later, Sam asks if they can hang out that night, but Allison has dinner with Kevin. Patty stops by to give Allison a novella to read amid the latter’s peaceful outing. Patty’s all dressed up because she’s going to meet with Detective Tammy. Allison’s unaware of this.
Then, we see Kevin (Eric Petersen) and Allison are at The Grand Victorian. Once they’re seated, the duo orders wine. Kevin reveals that he has to grab something from his car, and he flees the scene. Patty arrives at the bar to find Tammy (Candice Coke) already there and waiting. Patty is under the impression that Tammy wants to interrogate her further, continue the questioning from the other day regarding the pharmacist drug bust.
However, Tammy asked Patty out on a date. The good detective gets them drinks. Of the alcoholic persuasion! Meanwhile, Kevin sneaks into Tricky Ricky’s, wherein his dad Pete (Brian Howe) and Neil (Alex Bonifer) are patiently waiting. Neil procures a briefcase that’s chock full of tickets. They can finally win that massive foam cowboy hat. Inevitably, Kevin makes an excuse to leave so he can return to Allison.
Next, Kevin and Allison are about to order food when the former spots NHL player Sean Avery, who played for the New York Rangers. As a Boston man, this enrages Kevin. Kevin and Sean proceed to talk smack about each other.
This culminates in both of them ordering “The Mighty Moo,” a mighty meal that consists of a 32-ounce steak, two baked potatoes with all the fixings, a shrimp cocktail and one roll. Whoever finishes their meal first, wins. But not before Kevin gets that elusive thing out of his car.
Now, Allison spots Nick at the restaurant. He’s working there as a busboy. She wonders if he’s going to kill Kevin in front of her. Allison frantically calls Patty, but the latter is on her date. She’s actually having fun with Tammy! While Kevin is out, we see Sam and Jenn (Meghan Leathers) arrive on the scene for their date. Jenn refers to Allison as “Addison,” which feels like a subtle dig. She invites Allison to their table for wine, and she won’t accept “no” for an answer.
Then, Neil brings a gigantic plate of appetizers over for Kevin and Pete. He ordered 36 of everything since Kevin’s turning 36 years old. So, now Kevin has to consume all that on top of The Mighty Moo. This might be the way he dies, folks.
Meanwhile, Allison is sitting with Sam and Jenn. Sam finds out that Allison’s excuse for not meeting with him later was her husband’s birthday dinner. But it’s okay! It’s Sam and Jenn’s anniversary! Regardless, Sam is clearly jealous. Allison spots Nick again and excuses herself from the table to pursue him.
Next, Allison loses sight of Nick, but she finds Patty drunkenly engaging with Tammy. She ushers Patty into the bathroom for a little chat. Allison discloses that Nick’s here. He’s not supposed to murder Kevin while she’s around.
Additionally, Allison is irritated about Patty lying to her. Patty retorts that she’s on a date with Tammy. Tammy has feelings for her, so Patty asserts that they can utilize that to their advantage. This is such a great scene, and well-acted by both Murphy and Hollis Inboden.
Then, Sean and Kevin commence their eating contest. Patty returns from her bathroom conversation with Allison, and she’s slightly off-kilter. Tammy takes notice. Something is obviously amiss. While Kevin and Sean scarf down their food, Jenn and Sam introduce themselves to Kevin.
Suddenly, Kevin starts choking on his steak. Sam swoops in and performs the Heimlich maneuver. Kevin coughs up a piece of steak that smacks Allison in the chest. Kevin bursts out the door because, you know, something in his car. Allison excuses herself so she can go to the restroom and clean her sullied blouse.
But, in reality, she’s following Nick. Allison approaches Nick and urges him to stand down. Killing Kevin in front of her was never part of the deal. Nick pretends to not know her. Sam steps in, under the impression that Nick’s lashing out at Allison. Nick flees. Allison turns on Sam, blaming him for letting Nick slip through her fingers. She claims that Nick is in a dispute with Kevin. Sam brings up her dinner with Kevin. She mentions his date with Jenn. So, they’re both even, right?
Now, Sam reveals something interesting here. He believes that Allison’s in control. Of course, he’s really referring to their relationship, but I think it’s intriguing that she feels like everything in her life is out of her hands. Well, except for this one aspect. This is the only thing she can orchestrate. Both of them part ways in a rage.
Then, Kevin smooths things over with Neil and Pete at Tricky Ricky’s. They fight for the foam cowboy hat. Kevin even tries to buy arcade tickets off a kid. Later, he returns to The Grand Victorian to finish his Mighty Moo. Everyone is crowded around him, cheering him on. Sean Avery appears to be calm, cool and collected, while Kevin is clearly languishing under the weight of too much food.
Next, Kevin hallucinates Brian Scalabrine, a former NBA star. Brian urges Kevin to forge ahead. He’s almost at the finish line! Finally, Kevin eats the last of his meal. He rises victorious! For New England!
Later, Kevin is enjoying the spoils of his victory — the massive foam cowboy hat and Allison’s massage chair gift. Allison leaves, citing that she left something in her car. Meanwhile, Tammy and Patty are at the end of their date. Tammy notes that, initially, Patty was having a good time. Then her meeting with Allison put her in a sour mood. Tammy really likes Patty.
Suddenly, Patty kisses her. The moment before she does it, you can see that Patty may be falling for Tammy. Those feelings might be reciprocated after all. I just hope that it’s not all a ruse and that Patty doesn’t string Tammy along. That would be sh*tty.
Allison is waiting for Nick outside of The Grand Victorian. She tells him that he must notify her of the exact time he’s going to kill Kevin. Allison wants to know the when, the where and the how. Total transparency. Nick acquiesces to this. Allison drives off in a huff.
Overall, “The Grand Victorian” is a solid episode. Kevin Can F Himself has this air of mystery as far as the sitcom elements are concerned. I believe that it’s a manifestation of Allison’s mental state or emotional state when she’s with Kevin. She feels “less-than” when she’s with him. Trapped in her own life while everyone watches and cruelly laughs. Of course, this show also pokes fun at the stereotypical middle-aged, white-male-led sitcoms of the aughts.
It’s obvious that the sitcom stuff isn’t meant to be funny — the canned, empty laughter is quite indicative of that. I’m curious if we’ll ever see Kevin, Neil or Pete outside of the “sitcom” world. Perhaps the sitcom represents their own ignorance regarding their boorish behavior. Perpetually trapped in a state of childishness.
Or maybe I’m getting too deep here.
New episodes of Kevin Can F Himself air Sundays at 9 pm on AMC and stream on AMC Plus.
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