DISCLAIMER: This iZombie recap contains more spoilers than the number of times Blaine has been known to play piano in his boxer briefs. He sure loves tickling those ivory keys in his undies. You’ve been warned. Prepare for New Seattle, and enter at your own risk. 

Welcome zombies and humans, one and all! iZombie made its triumphant return to TV last night with a solid season premiere. The stakes are higher than ever as Seattle has been morphed into “New Seattle,” where zombies are out and about in society proper, thanks to mega corporation Fillmore-Graves. Liv and Ravi are tirelessly working toward a cure for the undead disease. Major is tasked to mentor zombie youth, while hand selecting prospective soldiers for the undead revolution. Blaine’s father, Angus, is released from the well the former imprisoned him in last season, and is currently ravaging the streets of New Seattle looking like an actual zombie. Oh, and devouring the brains of a minister under the guise of receiving visions from God. Apparently, God wants Angus to form a zombie army. Should be fun. 

Alright, ready to delve into “Are You Ready for Some Zombies?” Just be sure to feed Liv her daily brain supply. We wouldn’t want her going full “beast mode.” 

We open with a factory owned by Fillmore-Graves, its workers toiling away to craft brain products for Seattle’s undead. A pair of coworkers are chatting animatedly about the Seattle Seahawks. Well, more like Clint Hicks (Jason Schombing) is eagerly word vomiting on a disinterested Perales (Daniel Bacon) regarding the football team. Much has changed in the four months since the zombie unveiling. A Fillmore-Graves soldier reprimands the duo for their incessant chatting. We see that Hicks utterly despises zombies. 

Meanwhile, a wall is erected around a “quarantine zone,” one akin to the Berlin Wall. Blaine (David Anders) is within said zone, feeding Chase Graves (Jason Dohring) information from the outside world. They have a pact in place, wherein Blaine is allowed to keep his various enterprises afloat if he provides Chase with vital information regarding black market dealings, human dealings, etc. Blaine is taken aback when the pair observes a guillotine slicing an unsuspecting watermelon. He thinks the practice is a tad outdated. However, Chase begs to differ, citing that drastic measures must be enacted in order to keep the undead in check. Everyone must be held accountable for their actions. I may be siding with Blaine on this one. 

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Pictured: David Anders

Later, Liv (Rose McIver) and Clive (Malcolm Goodwin) arrive at the factory from the opening scene. We learn that Hicks has been murdered. They question Perales, who mentions Hicks’ pure hatred for the zombie population. Ravi (Rahul Kohli) cites Hicks was literally grounded to death by the large brain grinder on sight. Ouch. What a way to go. Apparently, Hicks volunteered to use his overtime to execute the grunt work most employees were afraid to take on – using said brain grinder. Of course, Perales mentions Hicks’ blind obsession with the Seattle Seahawks. 

Next, we see Liv back at the morgue crafting what appears to be a play on chicken nuggets…with brains. I’ll admit, sometimes the food montages on iZombie make me hungry. Do I crave brains? Jury’s still out on that one. Anyway, Liv consumes Hicks’ brains, and I’m giddy at the prospect of seeing her as a crazed football fan. 

Meanwhile, Major (Robert Buckley) is roaming the streets with his fellow Fillmore-Graves soldiers, enacting curfews and protecting New Seattle. He spots a young man attempting to sneak out of his home, past the allotted curfew time. Suddenly, a trio of masked men begins pelting the Fillmore-Graves soldiers with Molotov cocktails. Two of the soldiers burst into flames while Major catches one of the perpetrators post-act. Gotcha! Apparently, crimes against zombies are the new norm. 

Later, Chase grants Major a new assignment – becoming a mentor to displaced zombie youth, in an effort to prevent street gangs from forming. Chase is aware of Major’s background in counseling, and hopes to use Major’s gifts to his advantage. Major enthusiastically gobbles up said assignment with gusto. 

Then, we see Blaine having a chat with his father Angus. Said conversation is very one sided, however, as Angus is currently imprisoned in a well. Blaine laments that Chase seems to trust his father more than him, and that the Fillmore-Graves CEO is hellbent on snatching all of Blaine’s projects away from him. Well, if there’s one thing Blaine DeBeers is good at, it’s tirelessly straddling that thin line between sinking and swimming. Team Blaine all the way. 

Meanwhile, Clive and Liv pay a visit to Hicks’ widow (Jade Patton). Liv is currently in full obsessive Seahawks fan mode. I’m always blown away by McIver’s performances on this show. She seamlessly morphs into these characters, trying on the skin of someone new each episode. It’s a joy to watch. So, our favorite police duo questions Mrs. Hicks on her husband’s tragic death. Their son Zorn (Mitchell Kummen) also joins in, albeit reluctantly. Mrs. Hicks mentions a man named Doc Greeley, who keyed Hicks’ car. Apparently, the men were arch enemies. That’s a start. 

Pictured: Rose McIver and Malcolm Goodwin

Later, Liv and Clive bring in Doc (Ptolemy Slocum) for questioning. Yes, Doc keyed Hicks’ vehicle, but he’s a loyal 49ers fan. Immediately, Liv begins launching digs at Doc like she’s slinging arrows at a bulls-eye. Clive brings up footage from the night of Hicks’ murder, which shows Doc appearing within the allotted time frame of said murder. Suspicious, indeed. However, they don’t have enough evidence to detain Doc, so our duo continues their search. 

Next, we see Liv and Clive arrive in now Lt. Dale Bozzio’s (Jessica Harmon) office for a meeting. Since the former commanding officer was slain, Dale took over the precinct. Of course, Clive’s former lover now being in charge isn’t awkward at all, right? Not at all. Anyway, Clive and Liv report that they’re still toiling away on the Hicks case. 

Meanwhile, Ravi is in the morgue studying a fresh corpse that just arrived. He procures the victim’s brain for continued research purposes. A look of hunger flashes in his eyes as his gaze lingers on said brain. If you recall, at the end of last season Liv scratched Ravi after he consumed the latest edition of his cure. Ravi relents to his immense hunger and begins chowing down on the brain. Consider this zombie’s hunger sated! It appears the cure, unfortunately, doesn’t work. 

Then, Ravi is seen sitting in front of a desktop computer logging a video journal entry. A lock of his hair is streaked white, and it appears his transition to zombie has begun. However, we learn that this transition has happened several times. Ravi is only a zombie for 72 hours max, and then the cure completely eradicates the disease. Once Ravi has rejoined humanity, he has Liv scratch him to restart the process all over again. Thus, the intricate note taking and video journal entries have come into play. Our Ravi is nothing if not thorough. 

Later, Major holds his first mentor session to a plethora of  displaced zombie youth at the Fillmore-Graves headquarters. Each teen has been gifted with a brain tube to sate their hunger. However, some of them wonder why Fillmore-Graves soldiers are given multiple tubes while zombies in the outside world are starving in the streets. That hardly seems fair, does it? 

Next, Liv has one of her intense brain-induced visions. As Hicks, she observes one Fillmore-Graves soldier brag to another about selling brain tubes on the black market. Unfortunately, said soldier catches Hicks in his eavesdropping mode. Then, the vision cuts out. Liv enlists the help of Clive in questioning Major regarding said soldier. She procures a sketch of the soldier to jog Major’s memory. 

Then, Liv and Clive visit Major at his home. Major reveals the soldier in question is Russ Roche. Bingo! That also happens to be the soldier who reprimanded Hicks in the opening scene. Suddenly, Ravi emerges from the kitchen with a cup of tea, naked as the day he was born. Major nonchalantly informs Clive and Liv that Ravi consumed the brain of a professor who was also a nudist. Ravi quickly corrects his housemate by referring to himself as a “naturalist.” Potato potato, I say. Get on with your bad self, Ravi. 

Pictured (L to R): Robert Buckley, Rose McIver and Malcolm Goodwin

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Later, Clive and Liv find Russ (Giacomo Baessato) at The Scratching Post. Don E (Bryce Hodgson) is seen catering to Russ’ every whim – from gifting him with the elusive blue brains to showering him with beautiful women. Clive and Liv approach his table and attempt to question him. That is, until Russ has a prolonged vision courtesy of the blue brains and morphs into a Shakespearean of sorts, endlessly quoting the Bard’s works in an English accent. He slaps Clive in the face with a glove, and the latter brandishes his gun in turn. Blaine shows up to diffuse the situation, ordering the duo to leave. Here in New Seattle, cops aren’t at the top of the food chain. Blaine demands Dino (Ryan Jefferson Booth), his brawny guard, escort Liv and Clive out of the bar. 

Next, Dino is at the well where Angus is imprisoned. He pulls Angus (Robert Knepper) out of the well, and the formerly captive zombie is looking very much like a zombie. A sickly pallor complete with tattered clothing and long, stringy bleach blonde hair. He looks as if he just walked off The Walking Dead set. Dino gives Angus a hammer to hack away at the cement block bounding his feet. Blaine’s now traitorous bodyguard is seen talking on the phone with his significant other when Angus waltzes up behind him and bashes his head in. That’s no way to treat your savior! Then, Angus trudges away, off to presumably find some brains to snack on. 

Pictured (L to R): Bryce Hodgson, Malcolm Goodwin, Rose McIver

Then, we see Blaine is employed at a restaurant that not only caters to humans, but the undead as well. Peyton (Aly Michalka) is having dinner with Floyd Baracus (Kurt Evans) and Harry Thorne (Adam Kaufman). Blaine is clearly still smitten with Peyton, as he can’t take his eyes off her. I may be in the minority here, but I adored the Peyton/Blaine romance we had in last season of iZombie. Mostly because I want Ravi all to myself, so I’m definitely being selfish here. However, Peyton only has eyes for Harry. 

Later, Peyton brings Harry to her apartment, and is greeted with a large red “Z” on her door. Very The Scarlet Letter. She finds Liv within, bedazzled head to foot in Seahawks memorabilia, complete with an entirely painted face. She’s very much invested in the football game on TV. Peyton is also shocked to find Ravi standing in her kitchen, completely nude. Not awkward seeing your ex-lover naked in your kitchen. Not awkward at all. Peyton informs Liv of the “Z” on their door, which gives our favorite zombie detective more insight into the Hicks case. 

Pictured: Aly Michalka

Next, Liv and Clive are back at the Hicks residence, where the former uncovers the very same red “Z” on their door. They take Mrs. Hicks’ blood pressure and discover she’s human. However, her son Zorn is not. Liv has a vision of Hicks shoving Zorn down a flight of stairs after learning his son was a zombie, and effectively booting Zorn from his own home. Clive begins handcuffing Zorn to take him to the precinct. But, Mrs. Hicks confesses to the murder, citing that her husband made her choose between her son and him. Obviously, Mrs. Hicks chose her son. Thus, the case is finally closed. Mrs. Hicks is carted away. 

Meanwhile, Major is asking his group to share their experiences of “coming out” as zombies to their parents. He notices that a kid nicknamed Captain Seattle (Jake Manley) has had more than one allotted brain tube. A girl named Jordan (Jade Payton) also has a backpack full of tubes. She reveals that her siblings are starving on the streets. A soldier questions Major if he knows why the vending machine is bereft of brain tubes. Major lies to protect his group. Said group reveals that a mysterious woman gave them extra tubes.

Now, Chase interrupts the group chat and asks Major if any of the teens are prospective solder material. Major learns the real reason behind this mentoring program – to hand pick Fillmore-Graves soldiers to protect the zombie population. Children, at that! Major reluctantly selects Captain Seattle and Jordan, who eagerly jump at the chance to get off the streets and serve New Seattle. They will join Major’s squad. 

Pictured: Robert Buckley

Then, Angus stumbles upon a church service being held in a theater. A human pastor preaches that zombies can still enter the kingdom of God if they turn to Christ. Angus, who enters the theater and is very much unhinged, begins rattling off random phrases he overheard Blaine spew. He then claims that God talks to him, and the Almighty wants Angus to form an army. The pastor urges Angus to come closer so he can pray for a miracle. Angus takes this as an opportunity to effectively bash the poor pastor’s head in with his hammer. He commences devouring the pastor’s brains, and ushers the zombies in the theater to partake as well. He has found his army, indeed…

iZombie pulled no punches in its much anticipated season premiere. The episode blessed us with its trademark humor, complete with brains galore and a massive cliffhanger. Angus is rising in the ranks as a potential Big Bad, while Chase could also prove to take a turn for the villainous. There’s still the cure looming on the horizon, and Blaine’s morally grey antics always make for an interesting watch. These fleshed out (pun intended) characters are multi-faceted, and honestly one of the highlights of iZombie

What will Angus do with his undead army? Will Chase take his zombie soldiering too far? Can Ravi perfect the cure? Will an all-out war between humans and zombies ensue? Join me next week as I continue to recap iZombie, here on Geek Girl Authority.

iZombie airs Mondays at 9pm on your CW affiliate.