DISCLAIMER: This Inhumans recap contains more spoilers than the number of times Auran has failed to capture Black Bolt. She might as well have butterfingers. You’ve been warned. Prepare for Terragenesis, and proceed with caution. 

Welcome back, Inhumans of Attilan! Marvel’s Inhumans returned with a vengeance this week. Moves were made, people! Not to mention our Royal Family is finally reuniting. Here’s hoping Maximus is relegated a few notches. Black Bolt did say he wished to have a few words with his usurping brother, and we all know what happens when our King speaks…

Alright, residents of the Moon, ready to delve into “Something Inhuman This Way Comes…?” Be sure to adhere to Maximus’ New World Order to a T. He’s not overly fond of nonconformity. 

We open with our man Karnak (Ken Leung) canoodling with Jen (Jamie Gray Hyder) post coitus. He’s all aglow, you guys. Finally, someone is having a positive experience while on Earth. Our new favorite duo decides it’s high time for breakfast, so they exit their tent for just that. Unfortunately, Reno (Michael Trotter) greets them by unleashing a bullet from his brandished gun. Karnak splits said bullet in two with his bare hand, like the bad*** he is. However, a piece of shrapnel from the bullet lodges itself in Jen’s side. Karnak helps her up and the pair makes a break for it. 

Then, we see them take a tumble into the open grave containing a very much dead Ted. Reno is on their tail and almost discovers them when Karnak throws him off the scent. For now, that is. 

Meanwhile, Medusa (Serinda Swan) and Black Bolt (Anson Mount) are basking in the glow of their recent reunion. Louise (Ellen Woglom) is playing chauffeur while Lotus (Sumire Matsubara) is safely ensconced in the trunk of her car. It’s a party! Medusa soothes the agitated Black Bolt by assuring him that she’s okay. Yes, getting her hair shaved off was not the bee’s knees. However, she’s learned that she has other gifts beyond her extraordinary mane of hair. 

Then, Lotus begins pounding on the inside of the trunk. Causing a ruckus much? Anyway, Louise pulls over and releases the girl from her metal prison. Turns out that Lotus knows where Karnak is. Medusa and Black Bolt force the now traitor to lead the way. A hunting we will go, indeed. 

Pictured: Anson Mount and Serinda Swan

Next, Maximus (Iwan Rheon) contacts Lotus in the hopes that she’s made more progress than Auran. Medusa yanks the contact device away from Lotus and speaks directly to Maximus himself. She subtly threatens the usurper with Black Bolt’s intentions: when he returns he wishes to “have a few words” with his brother. Uh oh. We all know how that will end, should Black Bolt use his voice…

Later, Crystal (Isabelle Cornish) learns from Dr. Audrey (Liv Hewson) that Lockjaw is finally recovered and injury free. Crystal wastes no time in enlisting her furry friend in helping her get to her family. Dave (Chad James Buchanan) decides to hop along for the ride. Audrey scoffs in disbelief, not buying into the “teleporting dog” bit. That is, until Crystal and Dave evaporate into thin air, with Lockjaw leading the way. Eat your words, fancy doctor lady!

Pictured: Chad James Buchanan

Then, we see Gorgon (Eme Ikwuakor) discover the site where Karnak hit his head. He’s immediately transported to a flashback, where he brings the American flag on the Moon inside to show Karnak. Hey, sure there are satellites surveying the Moon, but who’s going to notice a drab flag is missing? Karnak calmly and effectively puts Gorgon in his place and demands the latter return the flag to its rightful spot. I love these two together – such a fun pairing. 

Meanwhile, Reno encounters his buyers as they arrive on the scene. He fabricates a lie about how Ted died. Then, the leader of the group demands Reno show him where Ted is buried. Suddenly, said leader shoots Reno in the head. He doesn’t like people who betray their partners. How very Breaking Bad of him. Anyway, he orders his group to spread out and search for Jen and Karnak. No one is allowed to live!

Next, Maximus is consulting with Tibor (Ptolemy Slocum) on Attilan. Maximus ordered his advisers to comb through the ranks of the lower caste for an Inhuman strong enough to take on Black Bolt. They’re scrutinizing the abilities of said lower caste members for just the right specimen. Maximus reminds Tibor that should Black Bolt return to Attilan unscathed and resume his rule, no one will truly be free. Tibor subtly protests, as he seems to do with everything Maximus proposes. Hey, it’s not our fault Maximus has sub par plans.

Later, we see Karnak and Jen have escaped far enough from the campsite that they can rest for a bit. Karnak uses his Inhuman abilities to extricate the bullet and cause enough nerve damage so Jen doesn’t feel any pain. Yay nerve damage! Anyway, he also proceeds to sew up the wound. Karnak is awesome. He proposes that they return to the campsite, despite the fact that Reno could be waiting for them. Suddenly, they hear a disturbance in the woods and scamper off. 

Meanwhile, Dr. Declan (Henry Ian Cusick) and his assistant are studying the bodies of Sakas (Matt Perfetuo) and Auran (Sonya Balmores). Extracting tissue samples, doing all the science-y stuff. Dissecting their impressive DNA. All seems fine and dandy until Auran utilizes her pesky Inhuman ability to resurrect herself. Yes, she’s alive and well. She launches a blade into the eye of Dr. Declan’s assistant. She begins choking the morally grey doctor in anger. Is this how you greet your host?

Then, Jen and Karnak return to the scene of the crime. Karnak begins to experience doubt, saying he cannot accurately predict the outcome of this scenario. Jen gives him a pep talk, assuring him she’ll be right beside him, through it all. These two are oodles and oodles of cute. Meanwhile, Karnak has a flashback all to his own involving Gorgon. Gorgon has returned from reinstating the American flag in its proper place on the Moon. The two bicker over how Karnak, after Terragenesis, is now meant to clean up Gorgon’s messes. However, Gorgon asserts that at least he’s fun. Fun people are fun!

Anyway, Karnak reemerges from his flashback reinvigorated. He agrees to join Jen in taking back the camp. Go team, go!

Meanwhile, Maximus calls Auran and orders her to stand down when it comes to Dr. Declan. Don’t reveal Maximus’ plan, but don’t kill the doctor either. Auran must finish her mission on Earth, which involves being a Royal Family Wrangler. That would look aces on a resume. Reluctantly, she agrees to fulfill her end of the bargain. 

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Then, we see Mordis (Bridger Zadina) leading a woman with Sammy (Faleolo Alailima) trailing behind him. Poor Sammy is tied up and currently using his fire powers to singe off the tethers. This is successful, until Mordis discovers what Sammy is doing and puts the kibosh on it. Leave my Sammy alone, poor man’s Iron Man! Auran rings him up and orders Mordis to return to the lab with Sammy in tow. They must keep Sammy alive in order to find Black Bolt. Especially since the escaped felon possesses special powers. 

Later, Jen and Karnak settle into camp life sans Reno and Ted. Karnak is practicing his fighting moves when they discover someone else’s belongings are there. Uh oh. Some humans are taking up space! After lighting eyes on the buyers that were sent to kill them, Karnak urges Jen to hide while he takes on the four men. Jen kisses him for good luck, and off our favorite pragmatist goes. Time to kick some arse!

Pictured: Isabelle Cornish

Meanwhile, Lockjaw teleports Crystal and Dave to a beautiful shore on the other side of the island. Dave is taken aback by what just happened. He encourages Crystal to live a little and let loose. Have fun. Be spontaneous. In essence, Dave sounds like all the motivational posters that adorn the walls of your office. Crystal, taken by his charms, appears to succumb to spontaneity. We see her contemplate joining Dave in the ocean waters. Methinks this will lead to sexy fun times. Swimming scenes often do. 

Then, by nightfall, we see Karnak locked in an intense fight with the group of buyers returning from their search. You may have found your bounty, dudes, but Karnak will make sure you also find the edge of his long stick (not a euphemism). I suppose I should leave the witty comebacks to the writer’s room. After successfully taking them all down, Jen sets fire to their possessions. Our lovebirds begin to escape, but now Karnak is smacked across the head by the buyers’ leader. Uh oh. Escape is not in the cards yet, my friends. 

Next, Lotus is using her locating ability to track down Karnak. Louise begins to ask questions regarding how the Royal Family rules the citizens of Attilan. Terragenesis decides one’s career path based on their newfound abilities. Lotus longed to be a healer, but instead emerged from the cocoon as a tracker. After a brief spat with the turncoat, Medusa urges Black Bolt to reveal his true self, the one she sees behind closed doors. He stares broodily into the distance, as only Black Bolt can. 

Pictured (L to R): Sumire Matsubara, Anson Mount, Serinda Swan, Ellen Woglom

Meanwhile, Tibor gives Maximus the ultimate list of lower caste abilities. Maximus briefly glances through the list and stumbles on someone of promise. He then reminds Tibor that freedom must be earned, as he earned it. Maximus didn’t wish to betray his family, but he sacrificed them for the greater good of Attilan. He’s a downright hero, by his count. Yay Maximus?

Then, Gorgon stumbles upon a dangling Karnak and a tied up Jen. He stomps his gargantuan hooves, creating a mini earthquake that knocks all of Karnak’s attackers unconscious. He releases the lovebirds from their bonds and they escape. Reunited and it feels so good! 

Next, Auran meets with Mordis and co. as they return to Dr. Declan’s lab. We see Sammy is still bound. Auran insists that they must carry out their mission from another angle. They must lure Black Bolt to Dr. Declan’s lab. Then, they can proceed. Team Evil is making moves! 

Meanwhile, Black Bolt and Medusa run into none other than Karnak and Gorgon. More reunions! You get a reunion, you get a reunion, everyone gets a reunion! The gang’s all here! Well, mostly. Crystal is still at large. Now that Karnak is with his family, Jen takes that as her cue to bow out. He’s of course heartbroken at watching her leave, but she reminds him that sometimes people only briefly cross paths in life. Jen is so wise. She then takes her leave. 

Suddenly, Lotus collapses. She was shot with something invisible and unfortunately fatal. Before she dies though, she tells Medusa that Crystal is on the island, not on Attilan. They must locate her soon. 

Later, Tibor is meandering through the Royal Palace on Attilan, probably conjuring up more ways to irritate Maximus. Then, a small group in black robes is upon him. Tibor thinks Maximus’ mafia is finally out to get him for speaking out against the usurper so much. However, the opposite comes into play. This mystery group enlists Tibor’s help in dethroning Maximus. Time to overthrow the usurper once and for all. 

Holy guacamole, Batman! Inhumans sure knows how to pack a punch. Finally, the pieces are falling into place and the series seems to be finding its groove. I’m glad to see the Royal Family coming together again. Now, all they need is Crystal and Lockjaw. Then they’ll truly be unstoppable. Maximus the Mad won’t last long with an angry Black Bolt on his tail. 

Do you think our Inhumans will find Crystal in the next episode? Will Tibor assist the citizens of Attilan in overthrowing Maximus after he so ardently supported him? Can Black Bolt save Sammy from listening to Mordis’ painfully dry quips? Will Karnak find love again? Join me next week as I recap Inhumans here on Geek Girl Authority. 

Inhumans airs Fridays at 9pm on your NBC affiliate.