Everyone has secrets that they don’t disclose immediately when a relationship starts, and for some, student loan debt is one of these sheltered topics. 

After all, finances aren’t generally a first date conversation. Keep reading to learn when you should share your student loan secrets with your significant other. 

Discussing your student loans with your partner is critical

Before diving into when to tell your significant other about your student loan debt, let’s explore why it’s important. 

When you’re entering a long-term commitment with another person, your finances are unavoidably tied together. If you have massive student loans, they’ll undoubtedly affect your partner at some point. 

For example, let’s say that your budget’s dominated by a crushing monthly loan payment that feels more like an income tax. When you start building a life with your significant other, the fact that you have less income available to spend on joint purchases will likely come into play. 

Whether you struggle to find an apartment that suits both of your incomes or can’t afford to start a family with the crushing financial weight of your student loans, a large student loan burden will affect your partner.

When to tell your partner about your massive student loan debt

Although it might be an uncomfortable conversation, you’ll need to dive in headfirst at some point. Generally, the right time to tell your partner about your student loan burden is a personal decision. When the relationship progresses — for example, if you’re thinking about moving in together, and will have shared financial responsibilities — it’s a cue to be transparent about other financial responsibilities, like student loans. 

As you and your partner work through other major conversations, like family planning and shared long-term goals, it’s an excellent time to share your student loan debt story. Other major life choices might be affected by your student loan debt. It’s essential to allow your partner in on how your debt might affect shared long-term plans. 

If you don’t tell your partner about this major financial issue now, they might feel blindsided down the road. The longer you hold off, the more complex the conversation will become. 

How to breach the topic

When you approach the conversation, take some time to remind yourself that you are a financial asset. Your student loan debt is a liability. But you likely have the educational skills you need to pay off the obligation. 

Talk through your plans surrounding your student loan debt so that your partner can get on the same page. This includes your total student loan balance that’s due, the type of student loans you have, and your projected payoff timeline. 

Once they have this information, it might be easier to make lifestyle choices that let you afford your student loan payments more easily. 

How to lower your student loan debt burden

As you talk through your financial obligations with your partner, consider exploring your options to lower your student loan debt burden. Student loan refinancing is an option that can help you create a more manageable repayment plan. 

If you want to lower your student loan repayments, then refinancing might be a solution. With the help of lower interest rates and more beneficial terms, refinancing your student loans can reduce your total debt burden or create a smaller monthly payment that fits into your budget. 

Taking action to lower your overall debt burden shows your partner that you’re committed to making responsible financial choices to build a bright future together. Remember, you’re absolutely a financial asset in your relationship. By responsibly managing your student loans, you bring much more to the table than just your college debt. 

The bottom line

Financial obligations, including student loans, should be discussed in any serious relationship. Since your massive student loans will affect your financial future, it’s important to share those details with your significant other. 

When the time’s right, dive into the conversation ready to answer any questions your significant other might have so you can plan for short- and long-term goals as a team


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