Harley Quinn Season 5 Episode 9, “Bottle Episode (But Not a ‘Bottle Episode’),” is the penultimate episode of Abed Nadir’s dream (although it’s not technically that kind of bottle episode). It’s an action-packed, high-octane, hilarious affair. Seriously, the jokes are sharper than ever. Perhaps it’s more reliance on the show’s strong ensemble. Joker and Bruce Wayne’s burgeoning friendship will always make me giggle. It sets the stage for what’ll undoubtedly be an explosive finale.
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Harley Quinn, “Bottle Episode (But Not a ‘Bottle Episode’)”
We open with Bruce Wayne (Diedrich Bader) still spiraling since Lena left him. Joker (Alan Tudyk) might be Brucey’s new bestie, but he’s transparent about the real reason he’s there: he needs a signature for Sophia’s time card. After all, she’s an intern at Wayne Enterprises. Lois Lane (Natalie Morales) furiously drives away from the Daily Planet, reminding herself that she doesn’t need the outlet to thrive.
Meanwhile, Clayface (Tudyk) — as Perry White — and Bane (James Adomian) celebrate the Daily Planet‘s latest accolades. Let’s hear it for journalistic integrity. Suddenly, Lena (Aisha Tyler) shrinks and bottles Metropolis. The city’s denizens watch in horror as this happens. Bruce spies Lena as she plants a kiss on the bottle containing said city. Joker teases that they’ve definitively broken up now.
Breaking Trains
Next, we see a flashback of young Lena as she stares in awe at Lex’s (Wendell Pierce) model of Metropolis. However, she inadvertently breaks the train and destroys tiny LexCorp. Lex barrels into the room, enraged. He orders their butler to put a “No Lenas” sign on the door and kicks Lena out. Now, as an adult, Lena has fulfilled her dream of having a miniature Metropolis all to herself. Brainiac (Stephen Fry) is lying face down in his bottle, ready to give up. Lena orders her automatons to find Lex.
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Then, Harley (Kaley Cuoco), Ivy (Lake Bell) and Sharon (Susie Essman) are shocked to find Metropolis gone. Harley starts rage-smashing. Ivy gives our titular gal a pep talk. Sure, Lena killed Frank, Harley’s father and she tried to murder her. However, Lena couldn’t successfully drive a wedge between Harlivy. Plus, if they broke up, the internet would throw hands. (I love that self-aware nod to the fandom’s love of the pairing.)
Unfortunately, Lena destroyed the teleporter, so their access to the Skull Ship is cut off. Sharon reveals a vessel like that would have cloaking technology. How she knows this is, well, inexplicable. Harley has an idea, though.
Illegible Scribbles
Later, Bruce destroys automatons while Joker begs him to sign off on Sophia’s time card. Once Bruce does this, Joker finds himself unimpressed by the former’s signature. Joker draws a clown face instead. Bruce saves Lois, and the trio embarks on a journey across the now-chaotic Metropolis. (At least Lois’ signature has panache.)
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Elsewhere, Harlivy and Sharon break into the Batcave in Gotham. They drag an unconscious Lex behind them. Ivy can’t believe there’s only one fridge, and it’s just big enough to fit three sandwiches. Harley contacts Bruce. Both pretend he’s not Batman. Bruce reveals that Lena’s searching for Lex, and that’s why she’s destroying the city. Harley admits Lex is with her. The Luthor sibling rivalry started all this. Bruce can’t believe they didn’t put a Bat-bag on Lex’s head to shield the Batcave from him.
Harley suggests they wait for Lex to implement a plan. Then, she tells Bruce to turn off the Skull Ship’s cloaking tech so they can board it. He reveals he doesn’t have a rocket but something better. Metropolis Wayne Tower was working on a device for Batman called the Bat-Radia. The Bat-Radia jams electromagnetic signals. It can depower the vessel’s cloaking device.
Teenage Labor
Joker interjects, accusing Bruce of allowing teens like Sophia to make weapons for Wayne Enterprises. Well, at least she’s learning a trade. Anyway, the Batcomputer can activate the Wayne satellites’ tractor beams, pulling the ship into Earth’s atmosphere. After this, Harley, Ivy and Lex (and Sharon) can take the Batplane to the Skull Ship.
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Then, Lex wakes up. He sees the sacking of Metropolis on the various cameras in the Batcave. Lex is down to help our gang save the city. After all, Lena was the one who sent him to prison. However, Lex wonders why Superman can’t lend a hand. Harley admits she persuaded him to go on sabbatical.
Meanwhile, a host of “bottle deniers” rise up — those who refuse to believe Metropolis is in a bottle. Bruce reveals that the Bat-Radia is “Bat-activated.” Just put “Bat” in front of everything, y’all. Then, you’re basically Batman.
The Ultimate Weapon
Harley, Ivy, Sharon and Lex fly the Batplane up to the Skull Ship. Ivy notices Lex holding a case on his lap. She asks him what’s in it, but apparently, that’s for a later reveal. What we do know is it’s “the ultimate weapon to take down Lena.”
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Our quartet barges onto the vessel, demanding Lena to cut the sh*t. Lena trains her automatons on Harley, Ivy and Sharon and prepares to fire. However, Lex’s arrival puts a stop to that. She looks terrified by his presence. In Metropolis, Joker suggests Lois contact Superman. Bruce throws in Batman as a potential savior of the city, sending Joker and Lois into a fit of laughter. What’s he gonna do, Batarang a rocket?
Lois admits she and Superman went on sabbatical when he commenced his Eat, Pray, Love journey in space. However, she only has to press the button on her watch to summon him. Joker does this for Lois despite her saying she’s not ready to see him. Suddenly, the Bat-Radia knocks out power in the area, rendering technology ineffective. It’s a glitch they’re working to correct.
Therapy
On the ship, Lex gives Lena part of his model train. That’s the ultimate weapon to take her down. He explains that Lena doesn’t want to rule Metropolis; she merely wants to play with his toys. Lena corrects him, claiming she wants to destroy them like Lex always “destroyed” her. She always felt like an afterthought — less than in the line of Luthors.
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Then, Lena prepares to shrink Lex with the Hyper-Ray. Harley sees Psychologist Harley’s reflection and decides to defuse the situation. Harley asks Lena what happens next. She shrinks Lex, lords over him and then what? Meanwhile, in Metropolis, the automatons destroy the intrepid journalists of the Daily Planet (RIP, Jimmy Olsen). Clayface and Bane cower before them, pleading for their lives. Thankfully, Bruce, Lois and Joker come to the rescue.
Lois pulls out a Morse code machine she has on hand to communicate with Superman. She can send a message to him in space with it. Joker jokes that this takes sexting to a whole new level. Dot-dot-dash, indeed.
Harley Quinn Is Too Good at Her Job
Later, Harley mediates the tense situation between Lena and Lex. She asks Lena if it’s worth being a god if she doesn’t have anyone to share it with. Harley asks Lex why he didn’t share his toys with Lena when they were kids. She poses this question repeatedly until he reveals the truth. Folks instantly liked Lena, but he had to work hard to earn their respect. He wasn’t charming like her.
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Lena and Lex mend fences, realizing they have more in common than they thought. Lena proposes they think bigger than ruling Metropolis. Why not the universe? Then, she uses the Hyper-Ray on Harley, Ivy and Sharon, shrinking them and placing them in the same bottle as Brainiac.
At the Daily Planet, Lois asks Bruce if she wants a drink. He rejects the offer, revealing that once it passes through the lips, it goes to the hips. Lois informs him that men can have eating disorders, too. It’s especially prevalent in the superhero community. She planned to write a piece on it until Perry (ahem, Clayface) nixed it.
I Need You
Bruce suggests Lois take over as editor-in-chief. After all, he just remembered he bought the paper years ago. He can make her promotion happen.
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Harley and Ivy reel from being imprisoned in the bottle. Sharon isn’t panicking, though. Harley sobs in Ivy’s arms. She admits she just wanted their move to Metropolis to be perfect. Brainiac sighs, revealing he wanted perfection, too. At the same time, we see Lois’ Morse code message make it to space. “I need you,” it says.
Harley Quinn drops new episodes every Thursday on Max.
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What I do: I'm GGA's Managing Editor, a Senior Contributor, and Press Coordinator. I manage, contribute, and coordinate. Sometimes all at once. Joking aside, I oversee day-to-day operations for GGA, write, edit, and assess interview opportunities/press events.
Who I am: Before moving to Los Angeles after studying theater in college, I was born and raised in Amish country, Ohio. No, I am not Amish, even if I sometimes sport a modest bonnet.
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