DISCLAIMER: This recap of the Harley Quinn season premiere episode “Harlivy” has spoilers. Prepare for the “Eat. Bang! Kill Tour” and proceed at your peril. 

Welcome, queenpins of crime! Harley Quinn is back, baby! “Harlivy” hones in on our favorite lovebirds as they embark on a new chapter in their lives. The episode focuses on the “honeymoon phase” in any fledgling relationship and how spending time with one another becomes a balancing act. Will Harley and Ivy grow tired of each other at some point (highly unlikely)? Can they overcome their stark differences? Love (and sex) conquers all, so I think it’s safe to say that Harlivy will stand the test of time. 

The Harley Quinn season premiere is a blast (literally, in some ways), brimming with biting one-liners, blood-drenched whimsy and delightful vocal performances. 

Ready to delve into “Harlivy”? Let’s get to it. 

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Eat. Bang! Kill. 

We open with Harley (Kaley Cuoco) and Ivy (Lake Bell) watching a porno featuring actors dressed like them. Yes, there’s already a “Harlivy” porno, thanks to Psycho outing them. Suddenly, Jor-El (Jim Rash) finds our lovebirds chilling in his son’s Fortress of Solitude, even though Harlivy claims they sought permission from Superman. However, Supes pops in for a hot minute and bursts their bubble, so they hop on Wonder Woman’s Invisible Jet, getting the hell out of dodge. 

Thus, our hotties embark on their “Eat. Bang! Kill Tour,” essentially Harlivy’s honeymoon phase, which takes them across the globe. They do everything from prank call Commissioner Gordon (Christopher Meloni), so they can utilize his credit card to make extravagant purchases to kidnapping Queen Elizabeth II while in the UK. Okay, Harley did that last one all by herself. 

Harley and Ivy clasp hands while aboard the Invisible Jet on Harley Quinn Season 3 Episode 1 "Harlivy."

HARLEY QUINN Season 3 Episode 1, “Harlivy.” Photo courtesy of HBO Max.

Meanwhile, Gordon debates with the mayor of Gotham (also Rash) while Two-Face (Andy Daly) watches from the sidelines. Gordon plans to run for mayor, but even his team is turning against him. He’s too absorbed in his hunt for Harlivy. 

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Harlivy in Paradise 

Later, to make up for kidnapping the queen, Harley brings Ivy to a gorgeous tropical paradise. We learn that it’s “Iden,” Ivy’s initial attempt at terraforming the planet. However, Ivy feels it was a colossal failure. Harley encourages Ivy to give it another go, to follow her dreams. What a supportive girlfriend! 

Despite her embarrassment, Ivy makes another valiant effort to reverse the almost irreparable damage to Earth (courtesy of humanity). Harley grows bored instantly, longing to kick a man in the dick or slit someone’s throat. Hey, our girl is an adrenaline junkie. 

Next, King Shark (Ron Funches) calls Harley from Arkham, wherein he and Clayface (Alan Tudyk) are imprisoned. Harley immediately jumps at the chance to save them, while Ivy urges her girlfriend to exercise caution. Gordon might be setting a trap for them. 

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Sure enough, we learn that Gordon and Two-Face planted the phone in King Shark and Clayface’s cell, knowing they would call Harley the first chance they had. Clayface hopes they’ll find freedom soon — he has an audition for James Gunn on his horizon!

Freeing Some Friends 

Then, our lovebirds send their porno doubles as decoys to distract Gordon and Two-Face. Meanwhile, they reunite with King Shark and Clayface. It’s great to see the gang back together again. 

Gordon and his force pose for pics with the porn stars because of course they would. Meanwhile, our quartet flees the scene. Harley encounters Amanda Waller (Tisha Campbell), who insults Ivy. Harley rolls up her figurative sleeves to sling mud. Those are fighting words!

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Later, the mayor tears Gordon a new one for allowing prisoners (and two known criminals) to escape. Two-Face reveals he’s the manager for the mayor’s reelection campaign. Well, his villainous moniker is “Two-Face.” It fits the bill. Defeated, Gordon tosses Two-Face’s “Gordon” button outside the window, catalyzing a chain of inexplicable, bewildering events.

Clayface chatting with James Gunn on Harley Quinn Season 3 Episode 1 "Harlivy."

HARLEY QUINN Season 3 Episode 1, “Harlivy.” Photo courtesy of HBO Max.

We see the button cause a string of several deaths, culminating in the mayor’s death from a pole through the chest cavity. Murdered by (and at) the poles (polls)! Two-Face tells Gordon he’s free to be the latter’s campaign manager again. 

Meanwhile, we see a young mouse boy sobbing while clutching his mother’s pearl necklace. Mom Mouse and Dad Mouse are dead — murdered by the Gordon button. Then, a Butler Mouse approaches the child rodent, comforting him. It’s … Batmouse! Mouse Wayne!

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Another Kidnapping 

Then, Harlivy drops Clayface and King Shark off along with their weaponry. Our lovebirds are bound for Iden once more. Upon arrival at the tropical paradise, Harley reveals she kidnapped Amanda Waller, much to Ivy’s dismay. We see a video playout featuring The Suicide Squad, a.k.a. Enchantress, Deadshot, Katana, Captain Boomerang and Killer Croc. 

Plastique (Kari Wahlgren), who’s not in the video, stands next to Waller. She vows to blow up our fave villainous couple. Meanwhile, King Shark comforts Clayface before his audition for the James Gunn flick. Clayface performs his piece for Gunn himself, who cuts the actor short and thanks him for his time. Clayface begs the filmmaker to give him a part. He needs the SAG benefits! 

After overhearing Gunn complain about his chair, Clayface morphs into an apparatus with proper lumbar support. He encourages Gunn to sit on him, but not in a sexy way. Gunn is taken aback by how comfortable Clayface is as a chair, so he hires him to, you know, be a chair. Hey, giving James Gunn lumbar support is essential for expanding the DC universe. 

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Rising From the Plant Ashes 

Next, Plastique battles Harlivy in Iden. We see plants destroyed left and right, much to Ivy’s consternation. Plastique, being the subpar villain she is, explodes herself, causing more damage to Ivy’s once-breathtaking paradise. Waller departs on a helicopter, but not without giving Harley and Ivy the bird. 

Harley and Ivy standing in "Iden," Ivy's tropical paradise on Harley Quinn Season 3 Episode 1 "Harlivy."

HARLEY QUINN Season 3 Episode 1, “Harlivy.” Photo courtesy of HBO Max.

Ivy, distraught, decides to abandon her dream of terraforming Earth. However, Harley, Ivy’s biggest cheerleader, urges her to keep fighting the natural fight. They can take over the world, terraform the planet, kill a bunch of people and bang a lot. It’s called multitasking, and these queenpins can do that and then some. 

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I love hearing Jim Rash on this show — he has such a distinctive voice. Harley Quinn brings in the cream of the crop regarding voice talent. I’m digging Season 3 so far. “Harlivy” doesn’t yield much fruit plot-wise, but it’s an excellent re-introductory point after two years off the air. The jokes, visuals, DC gags and general zaniness are pitch-perfect. Undoubtedly, DC excels at adult animation. 

Here’s to more eating, more banging and more killing this season. 

Harley Quinn drops new episodes every Thursday on HBO Max

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Melody McCune
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