DISCLAIMER: This Happy! recap contains more spoilers than the number of times Blue has asserted dominance over various persons in his life as a mob boss. We get it, you need the ego boost. Oh, and there’s some graphic bits which I’ll do my best to tastefully recount, so please, keep this recap out of reach of children. You’ve been warned. Enter at your own peril.
Welcome back, hitpersons young and old! Happy! served up the ultimate penultimate episode. The eclectic SyFy hit checked off all the appropriate boxes in my book. Comedy, drama, unexpected romance, thriller, horror, gore. Happy! has something for everyone. In “Destroyer of Worlds,” Sax and Merry team up to take down Blue once and for all. Meanwhile, Amanda falls down a rather kinky rabbit hole in her continued search for her daughter Hailey. Smoothie takes his complex relationship with Sax to an, um, entirely new level. This may or may not have involved a sex toy (it definitely did).
Alright, ready to delve into “Destroyer of Worlds?” Just be sure to leave out milk and cookies for Very Bad Santa. Even villainous men in big red suits require a healthy diet of sugar and dairy.
We open with a holiday musical montage – Merry’s mother Jessica (Laura Poe) is belting out a rocking rendition of “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.” Dancers decked out in red and green garb prance around her. Smoothie (Patrick Fischler) is jamming on a keytar, which I assumed died out with the ’80s. Of course, we know Jessica is dead in real life and this is one of Happy!‘s many joyous musical dream sequences.
Now, back in the real world, we see a lifeless Jessica being zipped into a body bag. Merry (Lili Mirojnick) is asked if she would like to accompany the ambulance to the hospital morgue. Merry declines, as she has a new mission to pursue – kill Blue. Revenge is a dish best served blue, am I right?
Meanwhile, Sax (Christopher Meloni) emerges from his garage kill-fest with Blue’s son and wife strapped to his person. He taunts Blue’s henchmen by insisting that the mob boss’ family will act as his shield. He guns down all of said henchmen and coaxes Blue’s true location out of his wife. Blue apparently sequestered himself away at his sister’s house in New Jersey. As Sax and Happy (Patton Oswalt) escape in Blue’s car, we see Blue’s son pick up the bomb Sax brought with him. It detonates in a fiery explosion, engulfing the entirety of the mansion and everyone within. Well, Sax did threaten to incinerate the neighborhood, so…
Later, Mikey (Gus Halper) is scarfing down the menstrual meatloaf Isabella (Debi Mazar) made to lure him home. He begins rattling on in Latin, as if possessed by a demon. Then, entranced, he mentions Blue. He flees Isabella’s home, much to her chagrin. I would too if I had to consume bloody meatloaf.
Next, we see Amanda (Medina Senghore) show up on the doorstep of famed children’s program sensation Sonny Shine (Christopher Fitzgerald). She remarks on how her daughter went missing during his concert, and how the other missing children are connected to him as well. Something smells fishy. Sonny goes off on a rant about his fame and popularity with children, as well as his questionable narcotic choices. Amanda attempts to leave, but we see Sonny urge his guards to bar her exit. He pulls on a bug mask and suit. It’s Mr. Bug, Blue’s insect-like boss!
Meanwhile, Smoothie has effectively captured the kids and returned them to the sound stage classroom. Each of them has a big red bow secured to their mouths, preventing them from speaking. Well, except our girl Hailey (Bryce Lorenzo). She defiantly removes her bow. Smoothie reminds them that they’ll be delivered to their new parents the following day, which also happens to be Christmas.
Then, the police arrive at Isabella’s home to inform her of Mikey’s apparently fatal accident. His car was found wrapped around a telephone pole, but the body is inexplicably missing. Perhaps demon Mikey escaped unharmed and went for a winter stroll? Blue (Ritchie Coster) makes his grand entrance and shoos away the police. They’re all presumably under his payroll anyway. Blue threatens Isabella to disclose Mikey’s location. He needs that password. In an effort to intimidate, he brandishes his gun and shoots the producer for Secrets of My Sussex. Then, he guns down one of the stars of said series. Blue is not to be messed with.
Next, Amanda, now trapped in Sonny’s headquarters, stumbles upon Mr. Bug’s animal orgy party. Yes, you read that correctly. A horde of people decked out in various animal latex suits swarms around Mr. Bug aka Sonny Shine. Amanda, like any sane person, is horrified at the sight.
Meanwhile, Happy reveals to Sax that he killed one of the imaginary friends in Blue’s house. Sax couldn’t be more proud. Happy had his first taste of blood, and they’re going to need that killer enthusiasm if they’re going to dethrone Blue. Sax looks on, like a proud father watching his son ride a bike without training wheels. Suddenly, a handful of police cars are on their tail. We see Merry clamber out of one of said police cars. She’s under the impression Blue is behind the steering wheel, and is taken aback at the presence of Sax. Well, now that they’re together, they might as well team up. Just like old times, minus the extramarital affair!
Later, Smoothie is securing the children in life-sized doll boxes, packaged away like presents ready to be opened on Christmas day. Hailey defiantly flips him the bird when he’s not looking. This little girl is my hero.
Then, Sax and Merry arrive at Sonny Shine’s warehouse after Amanda calls them with her revelation. You know, that Sonny Shine is behind all this. Sax worries when Amanda’s call drops, but Merry assures him that his ex-wife is stronger than he realizes. Suddenly, we see Amanda being swept up into the animal orgy party courtesy of Mr. Bug. Deafening music pounds away and piercing lights flash. Definitely not a spot for the faint of heart.
Meanwhile, Isabella visits her favorite old Italian seer. She reveals that nothing the old woman did helped her in securing her son. In fact, Mikey has escaped and is presumed dead…again. Isabella spent too much of her life believing in the old woman’s prophecies.
Later, Smoothie loads the packaged children onto a truck to be delivered to their new families. Merry and Sax infiltrate the headquarters. Sax wanders off to find Smoothie and, hopefully, Hailey. Merry has a run in with someone dressed as a third-rate version of a Teletubby. Thankfully, Merry is armed and takes down the fuzzy, tubby creature. You go, girl.
Then, Sax locates the classroom by tracking the sound of Smoothie’s voice, but finds a tape recorder instead. The real Smoothie jumps Sax from behind and chloroforms him. Sax slumps to the ground, unconscious. We see Blue arrive at the warehouse, infuriated that the children haven’t left yet. He’s falling apart at the seams, clearly driven mad by his not having access to that password.
Next, Sax wakes up in his birthday suit, strapped to a small table. Smoothie has a camera set up before the prostrate former detective. Smoothie launches into a monologue about how Sax is immune to his usual tricks. Thus, Smoothie had to get creative. He’s finally discovered a way to truly disarm Nick Sax.
Meanwhile, Happy is trying to coerce Merry into looking for Sax. Of course, she can neither hear nor see our favorite imaginary blue horse. Smoothie drops his pants and attaches a dildo to his groin region. This is because he himself doesn’t possess male genitalia. I think you know where this is going. He approaches Sax from behind and…Merry bursts in, gun blazing. She shoots at Smoothie and a bullet grazes his eye. Smoothie, still without pants, clutches his face and falls forward. Merry notices that the dildo itself is stuck in Sax’s back end. Uh oh. This could get messy. Also, this may be one of the most grotesquely disturbing things I’ve seen on television. And I watched “The Red Wedding” episode of Game of Thrones.
Next, we see Blue is going through a crisis of sorts. It seems he’s still unaware that his family has gone up in flames, but he failed to procure the password from Mikey, which means he’s still someone who answers to someone else. A lackey. Mr. Bug’s lapdog.
Suddenly, Merry and Sax crash the party, shooting away at everyone around Blue. Blue flees and scrambles over a barbed wire fence. A yarn from his sweater catches a protruding coil and begins unraveling said sweater. Blue is caught. Merry approaches him nonchalantly, gun brandished. She has him pegged. Yes!
Meanwhile, Sax clambers into the truck that was en route with the packaged children. He previously shot the driver dead. He combs through little outstretched hands, trying to zero in on Hailey. He eventually finds her box, but she’s nowhere to be seen. A festive red and green glove is the only thing left behind. Sax knows that can only mean one thing – Very Bad Santa took Hailey.
Happy! is, unfortunately, airing its season finale next week. I say “unfortunately” because I’m thoroughly enjoying this twisted ride we’ve all been on for the past six weeks. Thankfully, SyFy has renewed Happy! for a Season 2! So, we can expect our favorite hitman’s inebriated, gruff antics to pepper our holidays with an overabundance of cheer for at least another year. Meloni was born to play this role, that’s for sure. Not to mention, Oswalt perfectly plays off Meloni’s gruffness with just the right amount of positive sparkle.
Where do you think Very Bad Santa took Hailey? Since there will be a Season 2, do you think Sax will find her before the finale ends? Did Merry effectively kill Smoothie, or will he live to creep another day? How will Amanda break free from Mr. Bug’s orgy? Will Merry kill Blue now that she has him in her clutches? Join me next week as I recap the Happy! season finale, here on Geek Girl Authority.
Happy! airs Wednesdays at 10pm on your SyFy affiliate.