DISCLAIMER: This Happy! recap contains more spoilers than the number of times Sax has been stabbed with a random sharp object. He’s no stranger to getting poked and prodded. You’ve been warned. Enter at your own peril. 

Welcome back, hitmen and hitwomen! Happy! is past the halfway point, folks, and this episode brought on a slew of reunions. Sax and Amanda reunited and were subsequently attacked by masked hitmen. Sax and the ghost/reanimated dead body of Mikey Scaramucci, in an unconventional way that only this series is capable of. Then, there’s Sax and crowded subway platforms. Not to mention, Blue threw a glass Christmas ornament in someone’s face. Ouch. 

Alright, ready to delve into “White Sauce? Hot Sauce?” Just be sure to choose hot sauce. It is Christmas, after all. 

We open with Sax (Christopher Meloni) and Merry (Lili Mirojnick) at the scene of Very Bad Santa’s secret lair. Merry reveals that she’s been in cahoots with Amanda as they try to track down Hailey. Sax finds this difficult to believe, since Amanda despises Merry for obvious reasons. Merry proposes they team up “like old times.” Sax scoffs at this and proceeds to head butt her. Merry slumps to the ground, unconscious. Ouch. That’s gonna leave a goose egg of epic proportions. 

Meanwhile, the producer from The Secrets of My Sussex approaches Blue (Ritchie Coster) at his home. He proposes that Blue officially join the cast of the hit reality show. Mafia men may make (alliteration for the win) the big bucks, but reality TV stars rake in even more. Blue, thoroughly unimpressed, nonchalantly smashes a glass Christmas ornament against the producer’s face. You may want to seek out a plastic surgeon, dude. He refuses the producer’s offer, obviously. 

RELATED: HAPPY! Recap: (S01E04) Year of the Horse

Next, we see Smoothie (Patrick Fischler) throwing his own version of Burning Man, and by that I mean he’s dousing the whole of Very Bad Santa’s lair in flames. He finds an unconscious Merry where Sax left her, and decides to have some fun with the homicide detective. Uh oh. 

Later, Hailey (Bryce Lorenzo) and the other kids are taken to a sound stage masquerading as a classroom. Very Bad Santa (Joseph D. Reitman) leaves the children at the mercy of whomever is pulling the strings of this classroom operation. Methinks this won’t end well. 

Then, Sax and Happy (Patton Oswalt) decide to pay Amanda (Medina Senghore) a visit. Of course, Sax hasn’t seen his ex-wife in a decade. Reunion time! Sax is nervous about this one, but thankfully Happy is there to nudge him in the right direction. 

Meanwhile, Hailey and the children hear a familiar voice over the loudspeaker in the classroom – Smoothie. He offers the kids cake, and reveals his diabolical plan. He believes they’ve all been taught incorrectly in their actual schools, and he plans to change that. Smoothie is going to correct their behavior. Well, we all know how much Smoothie has a flair for the dramatic…and a predilection toward violence. Hurry, Sax!

Pictured: Bryce Lorenzo and Patrick Fischler

Next, Sax and Amanda officially reunite. Amanda reveals she tried to reach out to Sax but to no avail, thus she was forced to turn to Merry for aid. She also reveals that Hailey truly is his daughter. Sax studies Hailey’s photo, seeing his daughter for the first time. 

Suddenly, a pair of assassins drops through Amanda’s window. This reeks of Blue. They attempt to take out Sax and Amanda, but the former married couple fights back. Sax, after much destruction to Amanda’s poor house and copious amounts of blood, manages to kill both of them with an ax. Amanda kicks him out, even after he saved her. Everywhere Sax goes, violence and death are sure to follow. 

Meanwhile, Amanda flashes back to a happier memory with Sax. Our duo is entwined sans clothing on the floor of a cabin after a night of drinking. Broken glass and overturned furniture surrounds them. Apparently, they don’t recall the events of the night before, but that’s probably due to the booze. Sax discovers he has a bloody hand, presumably from punching through a window. Sax discovers bloody body parts all the time – it’s his MO. Regardless, the couple appears to be very, very happy. 

Pictured: Medina Senghore

RELATED: Read All HAPPY! Recaps Here

Later, Merry wakes up sprawled out in a cemetery. Whiskers were drawn on her face courtesy of Smoothie. Her gun and badge were also placed in her hands. Merry notes that she was lying on her father’s grave. Like I said, Smoothie has a dramatic flair. Back at the precinct, she’s questioned on the events of the night before by two fellow detectives. However, their line of questioning is suspect in and of itself. Merry begins to suspect that they belong to Blue, and when she confronts the detectives they, sardonically, ask who Blue is. Does everyone in NYC work for Blue now? 

Pictured: Lili Mirojnick

Next, Sax makes his way to a crowded subway platform, where he learns that the train has been delayed. Feeling dejected, broken and utterly useless, Sax lays down on the train tracks. He claims it’s under the pretense of teaching Happy a lesson. Happy urges his friend to get up, especially since it’s announced over the loudspeaker that a train is now approaching. Sax thinks his death will open Happy’s eyes to how the world really operates.

Now Happy, forlornly, admits that this world is a dark place and not one he wants to live in anymore. Especially without Hailey. He disappears, much to Sax’s surprise. As the train draws nearer, Sax scrambles back onto the platform, but suffers a minor heart attack in the process. The slew of commuters help him over the side and attempt to call 911. Sax, in typical Sax fashion, denies their help and leaves the station. Everyone cheers at how they saved a man’s life. Good for you, Glen Cocos. You go, Glen Cocos!

Meanwhile, Isabella (Debi Mazar) is making Mikey’s favorite dish on camera for The Secrets of My Sussex. Since Isabella discovered that his body was missing from the morgue, the gypsy woman suggested she craft the meatloaf dish as a tool to lure him back from wherever he may be. Gypsy woman even mixes her own menstrual blood in for an extra supernatural kick. Ew. 

Pictured: Debi Mazar

Later, Merry pays Amanda a visit at her home, which is now a crime scene. Amanda explains that she ran into Sax at Very Bad Santa’s lair, and they just missed Hailey by seconds. She advises that Amanda lay low for a bit, as this kidnapping is much more convoluted than anyone could have guessed. So many big players are involved, with Blue pulling all the strings. Amanda refuses to heed to Merry’s advice, especially since her daughter is still missing. She decides to find Sax and team up with him. Go parents, go! 

Then, Sax emerges from the subway station, calling Happy’s name. However, the imaginary blue horse is nowhere to be found. He sits and ponders life, as one does when one’s life is a bottomless pit of despair. He is struck with a memory. Flashback time! A cleaner version of Sax is having a meeting with Blue. Blue is urging the hitman to take a new guy under his wing. We see said new guy is none other than Very Bad Santa. Eureka! That’s how Sax knows him! Sax comes to the realization that Blue truly is behind everything at play. Time to take down the Big Bad. Sax finds a very much naked Mikey Scaramucci (Gus Halper) sitting next to him, performing a rather obscene act. Is Mikey real? Is he an hallucination? Sax is more keen to believe the latter, since he is seeing an imaginary horse. 

Happy! makes me happy. Everything from the performances to the incessant Christmas music to the copious amounts of Tarantino-esque violence. It all rings pitch perfect. And, with only two episodes left, the puzzle pieces are falling into place. 

Do you think Amanda and Sax will get to Hailey in time before Smoothie makes his move? Will Merry finally bring in Sax to Blue? What is going on with Mikey – is he dead or alive? Will we see Blue’s bug boss again? Join me next week as I continue to recap Happy!, here on Geek Girl Authority. 

Happy! airs Wednesdays at 10pm on your SyFy affiliate. 


Melody McCune
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