DISCLAIMER: This Happy! recap contains more spoilers than the number of times Sax has been stabbed in various appendages. That’s kind of his thing – getting stabbed. You’ve been warned. Enter at your own peril.
Welcome back, hitmen and hitwomen! Happy! blessed us this Christmas with its fourth installment. The SyFy newbie has been a consistent hit (pun very much intended) week after week. And this time, our resident curmudgeon Sax and Merry inched ever closer to Very Bad Santa. Sax and Happy took a trip to Chinatown after they received a rather fortuitous fortune cookie. They also encountered a gang hellbent on Sax’s destruction. Thankfully, Sax had just enough alcohol in him to put up a fight.
Alright, ready to delve into “Year of the Horse?” Just be sure to give Smoothie his alone time. He gets rather cross without it.
We open right where we left off: Sax (Christopher Meloni) just received a beating from Very Bad Santa (Joseph D. Reitman). Very Bad Santa, upon realizing he can see Happy (Patton Oswalt), promptly swallows the aforementioned imaginary blue horse. However, his digestive system has other plans. Happy is immediately regurgitated. Very Bad Santa escapes, but not without leaving a soggy fortune in his wake. Said fortune is from a fortune cookie factory in Brooklyn. Time to get hipster!
Next, we’re given a glimpse into the fictitious reality TV show Secrets of My Sussex. Isabella Scaramucci (Debi Mazar), mother to the four slain Scaramucci boys, is one of the rich middle aged mothers in the series. She’s filmed going to the morgue to identify the bodies of her sons. Blue (Ritchie Coster), her brother, is also present. Isabella is furious at him and blames him for their deaths. If he didn’t get them involved in his mobster affairs, then they’d still be among the living. Then, she pops into the morgue and finally sees her deceased children. Of course, the reality TV crew is there to film her most vulnerable moment. Nothing like having a shred of privacy.
Meanwhile, Merry (Lili Mirojnick) and Amanda (Medina Senghore) are still interrogating the families of the missing children (courtesy of Very Bad Santa). Suddenly, Merry receives a slew of photos from Smoothie (Patrick Fischler) with her own mother Jessica (Laura Poe). Merry immediately launches into action mode, knowing full well Smoothie has her mother in his manicured clutches. Amanda believes they should continue with their mission. Next, the delivery boy from the pilot pulls up beside them with another note from Very Bad Santa. It’s fate!
Then, Sax and Happy locate the fortune cookie factory in Brooklyn. Here we discover that Happy apparently speaks Mandarin. Our little peppy blue horse is chock full of surprises! Sax finally reaches management and asks said manager what restaurant his fortune came from. She informs him of an establishment in Chinatown, Sax’s favorite place in the city (insert sarcasm here). So, off our heroes pop in search of their fortune!
Later, Isabella is having dinner with Blue and his family. Blue launches into a monologue about how he’s not responsible for the Scaramucci boys’ deaths. That blame lays squarely on the shoulders of their mother, Isabella. Side note: I would not want to take Blue on in a fight, especially a war of words. Then, the doorbell rings, and Blue is summoned into a mysterious black car.
Next, Blue winds up in a darkened room with his boss…who’s dressed up as a beetle. He even has a modulator to shroud the sound of his voice. We learn that Very Bad Santa is under Blue’s employ, but the captured children are courtesy of Blue’s boss, Mr. Bug. Mr. Bug emphasizes the importance of making sure the children are delivered to their respective recipients on time. It is Christmas, after all. Blue’s beetle-like boss then enters a room full of other people disguised as insects. Jeez, anything can be a fetish these days.
Meanwhile, Smoothie is giving Jessica a manicure. He subtly threatens to utilize said manicure treatment on her face. Note to self: never let Smoothie give me a manicure. Of course, Merry’s mother is practically catatonic. Blue frantically calls Smoothie and reminds him to stay on task, and to move the process along. They need Merry to bring in Sax now. We also see that while Smoothie is on the phone with Blue, the former is torturing a Mormon boy. Said young man approached Smoothie and asked him about Jesus, which is how he ended up in this predicament. Smoothie loves him some good ol’ fashioned torture. Speaking of which…
Amanda and Merry have captured the delivery boy and are grilling him about who gave him those notes. They learn that he’s a jazz pianist studying at Julliard, so Merry threatens to amputate his fingers if he doesn’t confess what he knows. As panic sets in, delivery boy reveals that he only receives calls about where the notes are supposed to go, and nothing more. Merry finds this information sufficient, apparently.
Next, Sax and Happy arrive at the restaurant in Chinatown. Using Happy’s Mandarin deciphering skills, Sax converses with a waitress at the restaurant, presumably, about the fortune. She sits him down and brings out a live fish. Yes, a living fish for him to eat, dressed and spiced on a plate. Apparently, Happy’s translating abilities only go so far. Two men in the corner recognize Sax as the man who stole Blue’s password, and they decide to contact a gang known as the Triads. Uh oh. This won’t end well.
Then, the waitress brings a young man to speak with Sax. He’s a drug dealer, so obviously Sax takes advantage of his weed surplus. He asks the man if Very Bad Santa was ever a customer of his. Yes, the description sounds familiar. Sax is able to get the location of Very Bad Santa out of the reticent young man. He’s just that good. As they’re leaving the restaurant, though, a knife spins through the air and pierces the young man’s chest. Well, that escalated quickly.
Suddenly, the Triads gang is upon Sax and Happy. Sax launches into attack mode, even shoving one man’s face into a fryer. He takes on the entire gang, stabbing and swiping and beating his way through them. In short, he Sax’s them as only Nick Sax can – with an overabundance of alcohol in his system. However, as Sax tries to escape he’s cornered by Triads on both sides of the street. Thus, he’s forced to climb up the side of a building alongside Happy.
Meanwhile, Isabella visits an Italian seer. She reveals the fates of the Scaramucci boys…and they have a warning to impart to their mother. An enemy is in her house, so to speak. Isabella asks who murdered her boys (we of course know it’s Sax). While that information isn’t disclosed, the seer reveals that three of the Scaramucci boys are together…which means Mikey is not with them. Isabella raids the morgue to check on her boys, and sure enough, Mikey’s body is missing. Invasion of the body snatchers, anyone?
Then, Sax and Happy are taking a rest break on the roof of a building. Sax is beginning to lose hope, citing they’re following a fortune from a fortune cookie. The odds are not in their favor…or maybe they are. A bright light shines upon Gimbel’s Toy Store, the establishment where Very Bad Santa’s father was employed. Sax and Happy explore the dilapidated ruins of the former mall. As it turns out, Merry is also inside, doing some digging of her own. Sax waltzes up behind her. Merry promptly stabs him in the leg in self-defense. After the initial shock of realizing she stabbed her ex-lover in an abandoned mall, Merry joins Sax in exploring Very Bad Santa’s secret lair. They made it!
Unfortunately, all the crates that used to house Hailey and the kids are empty. Sax breaks the lid of a crate in frustration.
Meanwhile, Hailey (Bryce Lorenzo) and the children are bound by Christmas lights in the back of a van driven by Very Bad Santa. He’s moving them to an undisclosed location, presumably dropping them off on Blue’s orders. He forces the children to serenade him with Christmas carols.
Happy! just gets better and better. It’s the perfect solution for those of us who love all things festively creepy. The eerie Christmas tunes in the background are the cherry on top of a Tarantino-esque sundae. Once again, Meloni is in his element as the inebriated, brash Sax. Oswalt plays off Meloni perfectly as his polar opposite. This is The Odd Couple on steroids.
Where do you think the body of Mikey Scaramucci is? Will we learn more about Mr. Bug? Where is Very Bad Santa taking Hailey and co.? Can Sax and Merry rescue the children in time for Christmas? When will Sax take a shower? Join me next week as I continue to recap Happy!, here on Geek Girl Authority.
Happy! airs Wednesdays at 10pm on your SyFy affiliate.
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