Between work, my family and a best friend who may as well be a reincarnation of Kimmy Gibbler, I rarely get time to myself these days. But when I do find a spare moment, my go-to activity is usually to brew up a nice cup of coffee and watch compilations of Gordon Ramsey yelling at people. I found myself in one of these spare moments on Friday. All was quiet, not a creature was stirring then it was all ruined by a notification. ‘CHAT WITH MURDOC AND NOODLE RIGHT NOW!’  I must admit this week I wasn’t in the mood to chat with my least favorite pen pal. But I was curious about whether or not I would actually be talking with Noodle. When he was first arrested, Murdoc mentioned how little contact he had with his former Gorillaz band members – surely because they hate him – so I was intrigued to say the least. 

After I was connected with Murdoc he wasted no time asking about my chat with Vlad the Inhaler. I gave him the CliffsNotes version of the conversation then sent him the map I was sent. “Top job! Not that I ever doubted you. If anyone could pretend to be the future wife of a half-wit henchman, it was you. Now, I’m no Sherlock, but to me those look like coordinates.” I was then directed to further examine the map. Sure enough, he was right.

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-41.907231 -68.961834. What it means off the top of my head, I had no idea, but now that we have a location to where El Miedra’s camped out I assumed the next course of action would be to actually go there. I was just hoping it didn’t have to be me. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna ask you to do it. This job requires a very particular set of skills. Liam Neeson is busy, but we’ve got someone better…I’m talking about someone who could eat Chuck Norris for breakfast. And still have room for toast and cheerios. BOOYA!! Noodle isn’t just a guitar slayer. She’s a stone-cold assassin. I taught her all my moves. And, of course, she was in that Japanese school for super soldiers too.” 

That’s right. Murdoc expected estranged band member, Noodle, to give him some help. And the one who was expected to convince her? Of course it was me. Before I could type out whether or not I wanted to go through with this plan, the connection was transferred. Surprisingly enough Noodle was pleasantly cooperative. While using a mountain of emojis in between sentences, Noodle expressed distaste towards Murdoc. “He doesn’t deserve help. Not even if he says sorry. His ‘sorry’ means nothing he’s said it SO MANY TIMES…OK but WAIT, now I’m thinking tho…I saw something on that dumb March to Freedom plan he made. See anything strange?!”

Way at the bottom, poorly covered under a pen scribble is the phrase ‘Mierda- soul harvester’. Noodle then confesses how the band’s front man, 2D, has been acting strange for a while now; possible evidence of this could be the peculiar change in eye color (white to black then back to white) 2D goes through towards the end of the Humility music video. Noodle quickly came to the conclusion that not only did El Miedra do something to 2D but that Murdoc knew about it. After all, anything is possible with Murdoc. “…Guess there’s only one way to find out. I will find El Miedra- but not for Murdoc, to help 2D. I worry about him.” So, armed with her trusty samurai sword, Hello Kitty mittens and a picture of her cat Katsu for extra warmth, Noodle set off for Patagonia in search of the clever El Miedra.

If I don’t hear from her in a couple weeks time due to death or her fingers falling off, I was told to have a nice life. Perhaps I will if I can figure out how to cancel this crazy fortnightly pass. Do you want to help Murdoc as well? Go on the Gorillaz official Facebook, Skype and KIK pages Friday, August 31st to see what you can do. Or you can visit their site as well. And follow the hashtag #FREEMURDOC to get updates or assistance hacking into that pesky mainframe.

Fallon Marie Gannon